Death Re:Dacted
by Amethyst and Flowers
Summary: Two and a half years after the events of Re:Mind, Kairi awakens to discover that half of her friends are gone, Roxas and Xion will no longer speak to each other, and Sora is still missing. Meanwhile, in Verum Rex, Sora helps Yozora search for his long lost love and solve the mystery as to why people keep dying and not returning as heartless and nobodies. The reason why? Ventus.
1. Chapter 1: The Lighthouse

Death Re:Dacted

It was not lost on Kairi that her friends were treating her less like a person and more like a terminally ill family member they couldn't detach their eyes from. Her hair used to be rich in color and volume, and now she wished she could pick up the clumps as they fell and glue them back onto her head somehow. She'd lost that bronze glow that every islander kid was supposed to have. And no matter how early she went to bed, by the next morning, there were fresh shadows and creases living under her eyes.

Her eating habits were nothing to gloat about. The day she first met her new father, he'd made a big deal about always eating a balanced breakfast, a sensible lunch, and a hearty dinner. "And never, ever skip," he would say, "No matter how gross you feel or how much your stomach hurts. You need to eat." She once loved papayas, and toasted coconut, and the bountiful flavors of well-seasoned shrimp. It had dwindled down to a baguette and some cheese cubes. And now, she popped a grape or two in her mouth to keep from getting dizzy.

She hadn't noticed at first; let alone her friends. When she was thirteen, she'd gone through a bout of fatigue during which prying herself from her bedpost seemed a monumental task. Maybe this wasn't so different. But one day, the shorts she used to force up past her hips and thighs sagged so low that she couldn't step outside in them. And of course Selphie had to be there to see the whole thing.

"Kairi, is everything okay?"

"What?" Kairi shrugged and tossed the shorts into her closet as though that would change anything."Yeah, everything's fine."

"Those shorts don't fit you."

"They never have."

"Because you were _too big _for them_," _she stood up from the bed, "not because they were falling off of you."

"Well I must have just lost a little weight."

"That's an understatement."

From that point on, things were weird. Selphie must have said something to Tidus and Wakka, because talking to those boys felt like talking to a caretaker. "Have you been getting enough sleep?" "What's been on your mind?" "You left a bunch of food on your plate." They used to just ask if she'd like to go fishing.

The one thing she did keep up with was her journaling. It was the only thing that helped her sort out her thoughts, which she for some reason had a very difficult time identifying or explaining.

_Dear journal, _

_I don't really know quite how to put it into words, but I know that something isn't right. All my friends are worried about me, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about myself. I know I'm not healthy right now, and there must be a reason why. But I can't think of anything. It feels like I'm missing something or that I've lost something. But what? I'm back at home, I have all my friends, and my dad. I'm doing well in school. What am I missing? _

Frustrated, she submerged her pen in the sand and wrapped her arms around her knees. She was always onto something big-so close to finding the problem. But it was a blip in her mind that would depart from her as quickly as it came.

She set the journal back in her lap and grazed over every inkblot and comma, probing for some kind of clue and hoping her memory would be jogged. Nothing. Just like all the days that had come before.

Until she noticed something that seemed off.

"I'm back at home," she slowly read aloud to herself. "I'm back. At home." Her fingers traced over the words, which she had a difficult time believing came from her own hand. "Where am I back from?"

A big breaker wave came crashing onto the shore of the inlet, and salty water gushed all the way up to Kairi's waist. She had to hoist the journal into the air to protect it from getting soaked. The sky was opening up: the grey clouds had parted, and beams of sunlight beat down on Kairi's face.

And the paopu tree she liked to sit on had been split open, its leaves scattered like a shipwreck through the shallow waves.

Struggling to keep her composure, Kairi launched to her feet and darted across the dock and over to the tree. She thought she'd be mortified when she saw the damage. But instead, she brushed the back of her hand against her forehead, wondering if she was in fact alright.

A thick purple substance was surging from the bark like a geyser. It moved so unnaturally, as though it'd travelled from another dimension or universe. And yellow eyes encompassed every inch of it.

She should've been afraid; should've fled to safety or protected herself while she still had the chance. But she wasn't afraid, and she didn't sense she needed protection. She leaned into the

tree to get a closer look. This thing wasn't her friend, she knew, but it seemed so familiar, and in a strange way, that comforted her.

"You're remembering now," a brooding voice jaunted from somewhere far off.

Kairi retreated and turned towards the ocean, which was blood orange and glistening.

Half a mile away stood the pink fox as stoutly and mystifyingly as ever with her arms folded behind her back. She was wading along the water's surface, though the water itself must have been thirty feet deep where she was.

"You," Kairi leapt down from the tiny island where the tree sat and ventured as deep into the water as she could before sinking. "Please, I know that you have the answers I'm looking for!" She'd never felt such yearning and desperation in her whole life. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks. "I know something is wrong, but I don't know what. Please, tell me."

From underneath the eerie mask, the woman smiled. Somehow, Kairi knew that she was there to help. However ancient and all-knowing the woman might have been, Kairi felt no fear.

"I can give you answers, although they might not be what you expect to find," she shook her head and stepped ever closer. "A great, dormant power lies deep within you, Kairi. And if you can find a way to harvest it, you may well alter the course of fate."

"What are you talking about?" Now she was getting frustrated. "What power? And why would I need to 'alter the course of fate?'"

"Your friends, Kairi. They need you. Not quite yet, but soon."

"Who? Selphie? Tidus and Wakka?"

"No," the woman reared her head down low. "Your other friends. Kairi, you have been asleep for such a very long time they are beginning to wonder if you will ever wake up."

Kairi's heart sank. Surely, this woman must have been either insane or a liar. But she feared that was not the case.

"Asleep?"

"Yes. Don't you remember? You came here on your own accord, to find something. Instead, you lost more than you found. But that doesn't mean it was all in vain. Here, now, I am giving you all you need to know."

Kairi did not know what to think or feel. Confusion, sadness, anger, but more than any of that, disbelief.

"What did I come to find?" was all that came from her lips.

By now, the woman was so close that Kairi could have reached out to grab her. But she kept her distance.

"I cannot tell you that," the woman sighed, "it's too dangerous. You must wake up, but you must be the one to do it yourself. If I tell you, it may overload your brain. Instead, look around you. And think to yourself. Think hard."

As her eyes glossed over the ever-changing environment, she realized that nothing about it was right. If she looked too far into the horizon in any direction, there were big black gaps where the skylines should have been. The trees and flowers were alive, though not with wind or natural movement. They curved and shifted diagonally, and it looked like there were colorful veins sprouting up and down every leaf and limb. Though she was neck deep in the water, she couldn't smell the salt. She couldn't smell, or taste, or feel anything.

The woman understood that Kairi was having a difficult time. "The tree," she finally said. "Look at the tree."

"Why? Is it the reason I came here?"

"Not quite. You came here for _someone_." She pointed to a rotted object on the tree, which was barely recognizable as a paopu fruit beneath all the scars and blemishes. "Do you know what that is?"

"A paopu fruit?" It was a fact she knew well, though she no longer felt sure she was right about anything.

"Yes. What makes it special?"

"The person you share it with," Kairi racked her brain, "if you share a paopu fruit with someone, then your destinies become intertwined, and you will be a part of each others' lives no matter what."

It was as though a fuse was lit in Kairi's mind. At first, she couldn't pinpoint what exactly she'd found. But by the time she finished her sentence, her mind lit up with a vivid picture of a boy she once knew.

She glanced up at the fox, a new energy and purpose glowing in her eyes.

"Don't speak," the woman covered her lips with a finger. "Turn towards the sky, now."

Kairi frowned, unsure of what that was supposed to mean. Until she spun towards the coast and a wave the size of a tsunami was looming over her, destined to shatter over her and send her tumbling back against the sand, if it didn't kill her. Its typical blue-green hue had devolved into chaos and a ceaseless range of colors.

For a split second, she considered running away. _But where to? _was her next thought. Back to her friends' endless worries, and her own confusion and isolation? She'd rather take a gamble with the wave than let things stay the way they had been.

So she squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists so hard that she felt her nails burrowing into the skin of her palms. She didn't smell salt, even as the wave cast a shadow over her body. She smelled cellophane, metal, and chemicals.

And she heard voices.

"It's a miracle! Her breathing has stabilized."

Her tongue was numb in her mouth, and she knew that if she parted her lips, she wouldn't be able to speak. Her ears rang, and then pulsated, and then went nearly deaf. She opened her eyes for a split second until she realized that static was all she could see. It nearly sent her into a panic, so she squeezed them shut again.

The whole ground, and earth, and universe, and everything around her was rattling in a cosmic earthquake. She wouldn't dare look, but she supposed her feet had lifted off the ground, and that's why she felt lighter than air, levitating above the world.

Somebody get Even in here right now. We're losing her again. Everyone, stay calm but don't give up. Check her vital signs.

Her brain had a pulse, and it was banging itself against her temple over and over again like a prisoner trying to escape. It was all so painful and surreal. She was light and deadweight at the same time; transcending reality but getting contorted beyond recognition in the process.

And as the discomfort spread from her mind and body to her heart, she couldn't help but scream.

With the scream, it was like she shot up into whatever was above, and she felt herself growing back into her body and regaining her senses. She could feel her tongue, and the crust in her eyes, and staticky hairs itching her face.

"Kairi," someone called her.

"Shhh! I thought I told you imbeciles that she will be highly sensitive and prone to fainting when she first awakens. No raising of voices, and no sudden or erratic movements."

Wherever she was, sensations overloaded her, and she had to focus first and foremost on her breathing. She doubted she'd be able to open her eyes even if she tried.

Someone's shoes clomped closer and closer until she felt warm breaths huffing against her face.

"Kairi," said a voice. Someone brushed the top of her finger with their own. "You won't be able to open your eyes for a bit. But if you can understand me, I want you to answer my questions. Tilt your head forward for yes, and backward for no. Do you remember where you are?"

She tilted her head backwards as much as she could manage. All she had to clue her in was the ice cold prongs around her wrists and the stiff cushion against her back, both of which rendered her body sore and aching.

"Ienzo, make sure you're getting all this. It's crucial we have this data for later down the line when we may really need it."

"Of course. Everything is being logged and processed in the D.T.D."

"Remarkable. Her return to consciousness truly is a miracle of science; there is no other way around it."

"_How _much longer?" someone asked from the other side of the room. It stirred something in Kairi. "Isn't it time she woke up?"

"Patience, Riku. Accelerate the process too much, and the girl will remain in a dream-like limbo for the next three months. Is that what you want?"

"Even, she's fidgeting in her chair now and her eyes are flitting like she's about to come out of R.E.M.," a soft voice cut him off. "What should we do?"

"The time has come," Even said under his breath. "Silence, everyone. We shall ease her back into full consciousness."

"I'll do it," Riku said without hesitation. Kairi felt a warm hand find a home on top of her's. "She'll remember me, and it's best that the first person she sees is someone she knows instead of a total stranger. If Sora can't be here to do it himself, then I will."

"Sublime," the dryness in the scientist's voice was palpable. "I suppose I will take her other hand."

"Would it be alright if I did?"

"No, Naminé. We need you to handle the data, same as Ienzo."

"I think Ienzo's got it covered just fine. After all, he's been at this longer than I have. Please," she sounded so earnest, "Kairi was the one who woke me up again. The least I can do is the same for her."

"She's right," said Riku. "Let her."

Even said nothing, but it was clear that he only barely approved of their deductions.

Someone took hold of Kairi's other hand. The difference between the two grips was astounding, yet Kairi was made to feel comforted, even in the midst of her agony and confusion.

"Now, Kairi," Even said with quiet precision. "Open your eyes."

It was like prying open a safe concealed by a hoard of chains and locks. But everything went from pitch black darkness to a hazy blue. It was painful. And blurry. But there were two figures on each side of her, and two more waiting in the background. She couldn't quite make out who those two were.

But the memories came rushing back.

"Riku," it was bizarre hearing her own voice come from her mouth. It sounded so much louder and more distinct than it had in her sleep. "Naminé."

"That was some nap you had," Riku jested, although Kairi could tell he was just trying to keep his emotions in check.

"Yeah."

"Look how long your hair's gotten," Naminé lifted three bundles of hair up to eye level for Kairi to see. It had grown well past her chest and was the darkest it had ever been. "We cut it back some here and there, but we gave up after a while."

"It islong."

"It is."

A chilling question loomed in the back of Kairi's mind. It was all that plagued her at this moment, yet she was almost too petrified to ask.

But she knew she must.

"How long have I been asleep?"

No one said anything. Riku's throat visibly tightened, and the others kept themselves occupied with the computer.

As always, Naminé was willing to answer the difficult questions.

"Almost two and a half years."

Kairi's heart sank.

It was not as though her time spent at the islands had been particularly blissful. Quite the opposite, in fact. With each passing day, she'd been growing unhealthier and more disconnected from her friends. But that time was _real. _Or it at least felt real. There were days, and occasions, and conversations she _remembered. _Relationships that had broken and others that had begun.

But none of it had happened. Not an inkling of it. And the last two years of her life were better labeled a perjury.

"Two and a half years?" she was on the verge of crying. "Why? Why didn't you wake me up?"

"We had no way of knowing just how deep into sleep you would fall," Ienzo chimed in as he stepped out from behind the computer. "The only other time we've conducted this kind of experiment was with Sora. He slept for a year and was able to wake up fine."

"With complications, mind you," said Even, "But because of the reality that nobodies can now coexist with their original counterparts when given a replica body, we grossly miscalculated the possibility of similar issues arising during this experiment. Yet, after your first year of slumber, your body began reacting the same way Sora's did when Roxas was still roaming free; it was incomplete, and it began shutting down. Without Naminé, you could not awaken."

Kairi found it difficult to keep up. She probably only computed a third of what Even was saying, though she trusted his knowledge. If he saw no way to rouse her from her sleep, then it probably really had been impossible.

Naminé's head hung low.

"I'm sorry, Kairi," she said, "I offered to rejoin with you several times, but everyone said that you wouldn't want that for me."

"And they were right. You shouldn't have to give up your own life just for me. I may be where you came from, but you are just as much your own person as I am my own person."

Naminé flashed her a smile so uncannily similar to her own. Others likely would've ascribed the two as sisters, if not twins. But Kairi of all people knew and celebrated their differences. Her broader shoulders, Naminé's sweeter voice. It killed her to know she'd robbed her nobody of life for so long.

"Wait! Don't start the party without us!" Shoes were clashing and clamoring in the hallway outside.

Two people Kairi never expected to see came busting into the lab.

"Awww man," groaned a guy with a mullet and the worst posture Kairi had ever seen. "She's awake already? We spent days waiting around here and didn't even get to see her wake up?"

"I _told _you Demyx," a woman thumped him on the side of his head.

"_Ow_!"

"You absolute numbskull. I tried to tell you we didn't have time to get ice cream. But as usual, your appetite seemed more important than what really matters. I wonder if your head is as empty as your stomach tends to be."

"Hey, hey, take it easy, Larxene" he stretched out his arms and folded them behind his head, "How can you expect me to concentrate on an empty stomach? If we hadn't gone, I'd probably be passed out on the floor right now and they'd have to worry about waking _me _up!"

"I think I'd tell them to just leave you there."

"Wait," Kairi interrupted, "you two. You're from the organization, right?"

"_Ex_-organization, baby!"

"Ugh, don't mention that utterly useless and incompetent institution around me," Larxene shivered and her face got so green she looked as though she might vomit. "Years and years of wasted time. An even bigger waste of time than loitering around the galaxy with all you idiots."

"They're with us now," said Riku. "A little over a year ago, we were on the outskirts of the castle fending it off from heartless, and we found them both there. They'd been recompleted. Xehanort was dead so they had no one to follow."

"It's not as though I _needed _anyone to follow," Larxene crossed her arms, "Let's make that perfectly clear. I was just bored beyond belief and thought, 'hey, clearly these goons are too inadequate to accomplish their own goals. Might as well help them out.'"

Kairi was about to inquire about these "goals" when Roxas came in followed by the rest of the Hollow Bastion crew.

They were all carrying boxes nearly twice the size of their own bodies.

"Kairi," Roxas let his box fall gracefully to the floor as he walked up to her. "It's so good to finally see you. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Kairi laughed.

"After two and a half _years _of sleep?"

"Wow, I guess that fight with Xehanort must have really worn you out," Yuffie shuffled over to the side of her chair. "The name's Yuffie, and this is Aerith, Cid, and Squall."

"Leon."

"That's not important. We've actually met before, but I'm not sure if you'd remember or not."

"Of course I remember!" Kairi's eyes lit up. "How could I ever forget about you guys?"

"I dunno, two and a half years 'll do that to ya," Cid guffawed, "Make ya forget a whole lot more than that."

Everyone laughed. Maybe Kairi should've been laughing too.

But it stung like a needle to the arm.

"Say, Even. After being stuck in this god forsaken chair for three years, don't you reckon she wants to stretch her legs for a bit?"

"It's up to her. Kairi, do you feel ready?"

"Yes."

She could've lunged from her chair like an acrobat, as stiff and uncomfortable as the chair had been, though her legs felt like jelly and she probably would've crashed straight to the floor. So Riku and Naminé took her arms, and Roxas and Yuffie stayed behind in case they needed to catch her.

Her hips and knees groaned. They popped and cracked every other second like an old car. But the chill of the icy floor was exhilarating.

"Easy," said Riku when she started to wobble.

"Thanks."

"How are your legs?"

"I think I'm good now."

And they let her go. She was standing all on her own.

"Anywhere special you'd like to go?" asked Naminé. "They're selling churros in the square now, and the landscaping in the courtyard is stunning this time of year. Or, do you want us to take you back to the Destiny Islands?"

"No," Kairi had never made a decision so fast in her life. "Not there." She thought for a moment. "Take me to see the sunset."

Roxas grinned at her. "I think I know a place."

—

The sun set red in Twilight Town; never blue, never pink. Always a mosaic of a thousand reds, clouds the color of a creamsicle hiding away the sun.

And the town itself bustled with life and laughter always. But it was a tired town too. While some folks were out having a drink, or trying to keep up with their little ones all the way to the cinema, others were fast asleep with their curtains closed and their heads buried under four layers of blankets and quilts.

Kairi had only ever visited once, but it stuck with her the way only a truly breathtaking place ever does. It wasn't just the world itself: it was the people she met there.

"Hayner, Pence, and Olette," Kairi said under her breath as they cruised down the alleyway. It was as though she had to teach herself how to speak again.

"You know, Roxas is best friends with them."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Riku laughed, "At first, it was only in the simulation he was in while Sora was having his memories recovered. Ansem the Wise added data versions of every living person in Twilight Town so Roxas wouldn't get too lonely. When he came back as a replica, they didn't technically know him. They had to start their friendship over again. But I hear that it's come just as naturally to him as it did in the datascape."

"Yeah?" Kairi teased, "And how do _you _know so much about Roxas's personal life?"

"I dunno," he scratched his head, clearly embarrassed. "I guess you could say we're friends now. In some ways, we've all had to make new friends if only to move on. I didn't have you or Sora. And I couldn't just be alone."

"And what about him? Doesn't he have Axel and Xion? Oh, and the blue-haired guy who wanted to kill me?"

"Axel and Isa have been gone now for about a year, scoping out a new system of worlds that we found. There's no telling when they'll be back. And Xion," his voice cut out. "He doesn't see her much anymore."

"What? Why?"

"I'm not really sure. I can't get him to talk about it."

"That's too bad."

Kairi kept her eyes fixed on the tram car in front of them as it whizzed around every street corner and lamppost. She'd only spent a couple months conscious and aware after Sora disappeared.

Then she wanted to go to sleep.

Perhaps she would've discovered something important in her dreams, yes. It was not an unreasonable or "unscientific" idea, as Even might say. But more than that, she didn't fancy living a life in which she'd wake up in the morning knowing she'd never see the person she loved again.

That kind of grief was enough to nearly ruin her life. And then there were people like Xion and Roxas, once the best of friends until they simply stopped speaking to each other. Stopped being friends. Just because.

She felt like crying again.

"Hey guys!" Roxas called out. He, Naminé, Demyx, and Larxene had been walking a quarter mile ahead of them. "Look who we brought!" He pointed back at Kairi as though she was some grand spectacle.

Hayner, Pence, and Olette were huddled up outside the items' shop. They'd been giggling amongst themselves, but now their old friend garnered all their attention.

"Kairi!" Olette sprinted down the street, her arms stretched out wider than a kite. She nearly toppled Kairi over on impact.

Other than from Sora, Kairi wasn't exactly used to hugs. But they felt so nice.

"Hi," she squeezed Olette tighter, "It's so good to see you again."

"'Sup," Hayner touched his temple then made a gun with his fingers, his own custom greeting of sorts.

"Kairi!" Pence grinned from ear to ear. "It's been way too long!"

"It has been," she tried damming the tears that were welling up behind her eyes and forehead. "I'm so glad to be here with all you guys."

"Ugh, enough with this big sob fest," Larxene rolled her eyes. "You girls should help this one out with her clothes. I mean look at her."

"What? Why?" Kairi hugged herself, suddenly feeling naked and vulnerable. Larxene had a way of doing that.

"That plaid nightmare of a paper sack doesn't fit you anymore," she glared at her whole ensemble. "You look like a caveman. You've been stuck in that ugly thing for two and a half years _and it shows_."

"Well, it _is _looking a little small on you," Olette turned red in the face. She didn't want to offend. "And plaid isn't really in style anymore. It's all about leather and boots now. See?" She glanced at Riku and then at Roxas. They both had on boots and leather jackets, Riku with a tight grey t-shirt underneath while Roxas had on a vest and tie. "And lace for the girls."

Naminé had clearly developed her own sense of style over the past couple years. Gone were the days of tiny white dresses and bland blue slippers. She had on a sleek and flattering red dress with a collar, long sleeves, and lace riding just up past her chest. No boots, just lace flats. And her hair was up in cute braids on the sides and a messy bun in the back. But she let some of her signature blonde hair dangle down her right shoulder, a look it was difficult to imagine her without.

Everyone there looked so on trend. Kairi had never felt more out of touch.

"We should take you shopping!" Naminé was quiet as a mouse even in moments of ecstasy. "It would be fun."

"It _would _be!" Olette was so giddy she could have jumped up and down. "So many cute shops have opened up! Le Frou Frou, Le Petit Chef, À la Mode"-

"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Hayner was losing his patience. "You girls go shopping for a while. We'll go throw a frisbee or something."

"You coming, Larxene?" Olette asked.

"No thanks. Why would I, a very visibly adult woman," she glanced down at herself, "want to hang out with a bunch of little girls?"

"But we're eighteen."

"Well maybe if you start acting like it you'll change my mind," she snapped, and a dark corridor opened up. "Good day, now."

And she was gone as though she'd never been there at all.

"Geez, that woman," Hayner sighed, "Gives me a headache."

"Same," said Demyx, "Especially when she uses her fist."

And so, the girls spent their evening gallivanting around the streets of Tram Common, stopping in every little outlet and boutique that caught their eye. The boys headed out to Sunset Station, where they tossed a frisbee until they (very quickly) got tired and wanted to sit down.

Kairi had an affinity for Twilight Town's obvious French flair. Everything was so frilly and elegant. Most of the stores were worked by beautiful young women who could effortlessly switch back and forth between English and French like it was second nature.

"What about this one?" Olette pointed to a little black dress that was practically strangling the mannequin that wore it.

"Oh um, I don't know," Kairi blushed, "I think that one's a little provocative for my taste."

"Why? Just because of the length?"

"Well that. And the lace, and zippers, and lack of a backside."

"Don't make her wear anything she's not comfortable with," Naminé laughed, "I wouldn't wear that either."

"Is there one you were going to suggest?"

"Well, I think Kairi should pick whichever one really speaks to her. But I don't know. I kind of like this pink one," she removed it from its hanger, "you like pink, don't you Kairi?"

"I do," she said. Or at least _she did_. But now her typical hot pink shade reminded her of a life that only existed in dreams. "Although I think I want something a little more subdued."

So they kept browsing, occasionally asking for assistance.

"Pardon moi," Olette would say. She spoke loudly enough for people to notice her French.

"M'amie veut trouver une nouvelle tenue."

"D'accord. Je pense qu'elle adorera cette robe."

But nothing was quite "speaking" to Kairi, as Naminé had put it. She found skirts, and tops, and leggings here and there that she liked. But when she tried them on, they didn't quite work.

Until she saw an outfit that felt like it'd been calling out to her all her life.

"Whoa, this is gorgeous," her jaw dropped.

Naminé and Olette grinned at each other.

"I think this is the one."

As guilty as it made Kairi feel, Olette insisted on paying for everything. Apparently, the munny had been rolling into her pockets ever since she started her new paid internship as a technician for the tram. It apparently paid a lot more than the bistro or Pence's independent journalism gig.

Freshly decked out (Naminé and Olette having picked up some jewelry), the girls headed to the train station to meet up with the boys. It was a bumpy and winding ride, and multiple times Kairi felt like she may vomit if not pass out. Naminé had to keep a close eye on her.

But they made it to the other side of town.

By now, the sun had nearly descended the slopes of distant mountains and disappeared for the night. It could just barely be seen peeking out. The bustling city streets had become so quaint that one could hear only footsteps and the hum of the tram car rolling by.

The sky was the color of chai tea. The cicadas were chirping, and Kairi knew then and there that even the sunsets at Destiny Islands could never compare.

"Sorry we're so late," Olette chuckled as they happened upon the guys, who were lying down and gazing up at the sky. "We got kind of carried away. But look at our girl _now_."

None of them took any special romantic interest in Kairi. Either there was someone else, or they didn't feel like concerning themselves with a relationship at the moment and, besides, her heart still yearned for Sora. But when they spun around to see her standing there in her clean white jumpsuit, a burgundy bralette peeking out from underneath with her long ponytail tied back in a ribbon, it could've made them all reconsider their stance.

"You look great!" Pence blurted out.

Hayner elbowed him in the stomach.

"Thank you," Kairi blushed and they all sat down together. "Roxas, this sunset is insane. I couldn't ask for a better one."

"I'm glad," his mouth was full of ice cream. "Oh yeah. We got these for you guys."

Lo and behold, there were three (mostly melted) ice creams. In keeping with tradition, they were all sea salt.

"Mmm, I don't know what it is about it," Kairi contemplated as she twirled her ice cream stick between her teeth, "but it's just so good. It's one of those things that shouldn't be good, but it just is."

"It's a universal truth," Demyx didn't look up from his sitar. "One of those things you just kind of accept as correct. Like leaving work early all the time and still getting paid in full."

Everyone laughed.

"Hey, what's so funny about that?"

Needless to say, the sunset was everything Kairi dreamed it would be. But the people there made it really special. After Pence tripped and face planted to the ground when he went to throw their ice cream sticks away, they all went from silent to delirious. Kairi couldn't remember a time more fun than playing hide and seek in the dark. And when that was over with, they circled around Demyx and sang their hearts out for over an hour to the most ridiculous songs one could imagine.

"It's crazy," Kairi said to Riku about an hour later. They'd since split off into smaller groups. "This morning I was living a different life with different people. I had different problems. And all it took was a few deep breaths to make that life totally fall apart." For the first time in hours, she felt that pang in her chest again. "Like it never existed at all. Never."

All the fun she'd been having with everyone served as a fine tourniquette. It brought the reddish glow back to her face and the light back to her eyes. It stopped the bleeding and held her together for a while. But by the end of the day, it had torn and tethered away. And she remembered all she had lost. Everything she'd learned, all the apologies she'd made, the friends she'd rekindled with, her most important thoughts and deepest wishes. The last two and a half years of herself.

Riku was taken aback when she buried her face in her knees and started crying.

He wanted to console her, but he didn't know how. Knowing Kairi, she probably wanted to be talked through it.

"You were living a different life?"

"Yeah. Back on the islands."

"And we were there?"

"No," she looked up at him, her whole face soaked with tears. "None of you were there. Just Selphie, Tidus and Wakka. I don't know why. I think maybe, as much as I love you all, a part of me just wanted to start over after Sora went away. I don't know. It's just been _so_ hard."

"I know it's been hard. But he loved you, Kairi," was all Riku knew to say. "He really did. And I know he wouldn't want you to be torturing yourself like this. He'd want you to move on, be your best self, and share your light with everyone who needs to see it."

"Thank you, Riku," she laid her head down on his shoulder. It was nice. They hadn't been this close in a long time. "I'm gonna try my best to move on."

"You won't be alone," Riku assured her. "In some ways, we're all still adjusting to change. Losing friends we never thought we'd lose, and finding friends where we never expected to find them."

"Yeah, I gotta say, I love the new dynamic but it's kind of weird," Kairi started laughing uncontrollably. There was no telling how late it was. "I mean Demyx and Larxene? And what, you and Roxas are friends now? And both a little bit into Naminé or something? And that's kind of just a normal accepted thing and neither of you are bothered by it?"

"Whoa, where'd you get that idea?"

"I've got intuition like you wouldn't believe," she teased. "You totally like her and so does he. I can sense it. It's just like Aqua and Terra"- she froze mid-sentence. "Aqua and Terra! And Ven! I totally forgot. Where have they been this whole time?"

"In the realm of darkness."

"Aqua went back to _the realm of darkness_?"

"Yeah, would you believe it? I tried to get her to think twice about that decision. But she insisted. Most of the worlds they went to during their time training under Master Eraqus have been lost to darkness. They went down there to see if they could bring them back to the realm of light."

"How long have they been gone?"

"About a year."

"_Why _am I not surprised?" Kairi plummeted down onto her back and stared up at the stars. "And I guess Donald, Goofy, and the king are on their own type of special mission?"

"What gave it away?" Riku cracked up.

"Wait, you can't be serious."

"Oh, I am."

"Wow, I see how it is. The minute I wake up _everyone _is gone on some top secret mission."

"Not _everyone_."

They stayed for maybe another half hour, then everyone headed their separate ways, stomachs full of ice cream and guts sore from laughter. Desperate to not have to return to the islands quite yet, Kairi asked about other temporary lodging options, and Naminé obliged.

"So you really live in this big castle?" Kairi asked as they tiptoed down the dark corridors and winding towers of Hollow Bastion.

"I do."

"And you never get lonely?"

"Lonely? How could I?" Naminé shook her head. "There are so many people here. Aerith, Yuffie, Cid, Leon, Ienzo, Even… there's always someone to talk to. Every single day's like a new adventure. And if I want to go somewhere else, I can leave whenever I want. I'm never alone."

It was kind of mesmerizing, watching her strut down the hall, standing straighter than a statue with so much self-reliance. If Kairi recalled correctly, she used to slouch and, if she had to describe her, the words "melancholy" and "anxious" might've come to mind.

"This is my room," she said as she shoved open a lofty set of double doors.

It was a much bigger and hollower chamber than any person could reasonably live in by themselves. But somehow, she'd made it all her own. There were four walls, and each had a different giant mural on it. To the left was the castle itself, every metal tube and crystal perfectly detailed. To the right, there was the clock tower in Twilight Town, the sun shining down on it and the rest of the city bustling beneath. Kairi had never been to the place on the wall where the doors were, but it's where Terra, Aqua, and Ven were from. The Land of Departure, was it? And in the middle, Destiny Islands, perfectly captured right down to the placement of trees and flowers. It was so beautiful Kairi wasn't even bothered by it.

The ceiling was plastered with drawings that she could only assume were Naminé's best memories. There was one of her stepping outside the castle, and Riku was there, about to take her into the Gummi ship. One of Xion and her looking at seashells together. One of her at the bistro with Roxas and his friends. And so many more that seemed too detailed to adequately explain.

"These are so beautiful, Naminé," Kairi spun all around, not sure where to look. "How long did they take you?"

"A couple weeks each. I was so busy working with Ienzo that I only had time to work on them at night. But I didn't mind it at all. Now I kind of wish I had more wall space to work with."

They both laughed, and Naminé started fluffing the pillows on her bed.

"You can sleep in my bed if you want to. I'll take the couch."

"Oh no, Naminé, you really don't have to do that. I'm just grateful you're letting me stay here. I don't mind sleeping on the couch."

"Too late," Naminé toppled onto the couch and stretched her legs out so Kairi couldn't sit.

"_Fine_, I'll take the bed," she laughed.

"There are some pajamas in the dresser for you. Wear whichever ones you want. I have a sneaking suspicion that if they fit me, they'll probably fit you."

The girls changed and slipped into their respective beds for the night. But even though it must've been almost 3:00 AM, neither felt too tired. They chatted for a while, and when Kairi saw that Naminé had some unused journals, she asked if she could have one.

"Of course! Go ahead. I'm more of an artist than a writer."

It was strange opening a new journal and not seeing the entries she had memorized word for word. The ones about her dad, the ones about that big fight she had with Selphie. And the time Tidus and Wakka sailed with her further into the sea than she'd ever gone before. Now, she knew, she'd be documenting brand new conflicts. Brand new experiences and brand new memories.

_Dear journal, _she wrote softly and elegantly.

_It's been the weirdest day of my life. I started this day out as a high school student battling with some mental health issues, and I ended it as someone who hasn't really been alive for the past two and a half years. _

She glanced up and smiled slightly when she saw that Naminé was totally out. It'd only been a few minutes.

_But I've reunited with some of the most important people in my life. How could I have forgotten Riku? We've been best friends since we were kids. And Naminé. She's kind of like my sister, but totally different from me at the same time. And we all had so much fun today. I went shopping, and I watched the sunset, played games, and sang. I haven't felt this alive in so long. Probably because I wasn't actually living. It does feel strange though. I'd be lying if I didn't say that. I miss my dad, and Selphie, and my other friends. Of course, I can go back to the islands and see them whenever I want, but nothing that's happened between them and I these past few years ever really happened. I'm glad to be back, but I still miss Sora just as much as I did the day I lost him. _

Then she remembered what Riku had said. About moving on and being her best self. Being a light in the darkness.

It's what Sora would want.

_But I know I'm going to get through this. I'm not alone. I have so many wonderful and supportive people all around me. We're gonna grow and figure it out together. And I'm going to be the best person I can be. Not just for Sora, but for me. I'm gonna get stronger. And wiser. And happier. By the end of it all, I won't be sick with grief or hopelessly lost like I am now. I'll be standing tall and shining light all around me, wherever I go. Just like a lighthouse. _


	2. Chapter 2: Better Left Unsaid

Death Re:Dacted

Chapter Two: Better Left Unsaid

When the sun seeped into Roxas's eyes the next morning, he used his covers to shield himself. As usual, since he'd come stumbling into his apartment in the latest hours of the night, he practically tripped into bed and passed out. He didn't have the energy to latch the window shut or slide the curtains together (it's not like he would've remembered anyway). And he never bothered to change out of his street clothes.

On the adjacent wall, the sun painted a mural of little splotchy lights. It extended from the bookshelf, to the lava lamp, all the way to his dresser. But it didn't look like morning light. It looked like late afternoon light.

_What a night, _he thought to himself as he rubbed his eyes and cracked each of his knuckles. He always hated himself for waking up so late, but he managed to do it all the time. Either he stayed up all night on his phone, lost track of time picking out new chords, or went on one of his late night walks to The Sandlot. It didn't so much matter right now, as he was between jobs. But it made him feel like such a waste of space.

He could've lied there for several more hours if he let himself. But he sprung to his feet and switched on the stereo. Pence had been hyping up this local indie band that was just starting to get off the ground (he'd done some interviews with them for his podcast). But Olette insisted upon classical music.

"Classical music is good for the soul," she would say after a long day of engineering and all sorts of sciencey stuff Roxas didn't understand, "And even _better_ for the brain."

He couldn't decide. So he just flipped back and forth between stations and playlists. Vaporwave, hip-hop, EDM, alt-rock… until his heart stopped.

He knew that opening riff from anywhere. The drum machine, the backing vocals, and the powerhouse of a voice the girl had.

It was Xion' favorite song.

"Music?" she'd asked after they'd all plopped down into their usual spots on the clock tower. It was one of their last days in the organization, right before they all split. "Yeah, I've heard it. A couple times when I've gone to Beast's castle, I've heard singing coming from inside. And sometimes in Wonderland."

"Well sure," Axel shrugged, "But that's not really what I'm getting at. There are all different kinds of music. Loud music, quiet music, sad music. Music for everybody."

"Really?" her big blue eyes got even bigger. Roxas had never seen her so invested in something. "And is there music… for me? Music I would like?"

"Of course there is!"

"How would we find it?" Roxas asked. He'd heard the singing Xion was talking about. Granted, it sounded kind of high-pitched and irritating for his tastes, but that didn't mean he couldn't find other music that he liked.

"Well, there are a few different ways," Axel racked his brain, "You can listen to the radio or ask for new suggestions from your friends. But the _best _thing to do would be go hear it for yourself at a show."

"A show?"

"Yeah, a show. Where a bunch of bands get together and play live music. On my recon mission the other day, I saw flyers for one this Friday night. It'll be in The Sandlot." He grinned as though he had some kind of genius master plan. "Want me to take you?"

"Yes!" Xion blurted out not missing a beat. "I want to go hear the music. I want to find the music for me."

It felt weird not heading to the clock tower after work that day. But in a good way. Roxas was neutral on the whole idea, but Xion really rose to the occasion. He didn't know too much about hair, but he could've sworn she styled her's differently that day or did something special to it. It was so fluffy and voluminous. Her face was glowing, and her eyelashes looked thicker somehow.

Needless to say, the way people were behaving at this "show" came as quite a shock to Roxas and Xion. Everyone had red cups in their hands, and some people were doing a lot more with each other than just kissing (a concept Axel struggled to explain to them later that weekend).

"Stay close," Axel stretched his arm out in front of them, fencing them off from all the chaos. He was beginning to wonder if it was such a good idea after all. "You sure you two are up for this? We can go home at any time if it gets to be too much for you."

"No, I want to stay." Regardless of how uncomfortable she clearly felt, hugging herself like a scared child, Xion was determined. "We didn't miss out on ice cream just to go home and not hear the music."

The first group consisted of three guys probably all in their forties. They wore straw hats and all had beards draping down past their chins to their chests. When Roxas looked to his right, there stood Xion grinning with her chin up like she was having the time of her life. And to his left, Axel had his face buried in his palm.

"I'm sorry this had to be your first impression," he said, "I wouldn't consider this music."

"What do you mean? There are guitars, drums, and a microphone just like you said."

"Yeah, but"-he couldn't quite get the words out. It was something Roxas and Xion had such limited experience with that he simply couldn't explain what the issue was. "Just wait. Hopefully it'll get better."

Three more bands played after that. A brother and sister with droopy eyes who looked totally out of it, a band of people who just played instruments (they didn't even sing), and a group of guys in all-black who screamed. They could've fit right in with the organization with the way they were dressed.

Axel was beginning to give up hope. Apparently, none of them were the kind of music he liked. Roxas was beginning to wonder what good music _did _sound like, if not like anything he'd already heard.

"Thank you everyone for coming out tonight," the MC practically yawned. He'd been drinking out of a red cup just like everyone else there. "Please, help yourself to any of the refreshments left in the back, and if you need somewhere to stay for the night, Colette will be more than happy to help you find a place within your price range. To close us out for the night, we have uh"-he glanced at the title card in his hand- "Passé Skateboarding. And they will be singing an original song called 'L'amour est mort.'"

Half the crowd clapped: the other half was either passed out on the floor, asleep, or had already left.

Three girls with thick eyeliner and bobbed hair stepped up to the stage, guitars dangling from their shoulders.

Axel had moved to the back of the crowd like he was getting ready to leave. But Xion was right up against the stage, practically gawking at these girls who she seemed to think were the coolest people in the world.

At the count of four, they belted out into a tune that was catchy and lively enough to wake everyone up. People on the outskirts ready to head up the hill spun right back aground, and everyone started clapping and even dancing with each other.

It was unlike anything Roxas had ever seen. So much wild, unfiltered joy. He had nothing else to compare it to except for maybe that one time when Demyx and Luxord stumbled back into the Grey Area in the middle of the night and everyone got up to laugh at their drunken antics.

He was so enraptured and captivated by everything that was happening that, had it not been for Xion being the loudest and most excited of them all, he could've totally missed her reaction. Her mouth hung wide open, and she studied every wasted person like they were some untapped scientific revelation. When someone raised their hands in the air, she did the same. When they spun around in a circle, she did the same. She mimicked every movement, every gesture in perfect harmony, a child-like grin on her face.

Roxas decided it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"All right, that's enough," Axel had returned to stop Xion from whatever she was doing. Apparently there were certain dances she shouldn't try to copy. "But see? _This _is music. It moves people and makes people dance. It brings joy."

Xion had to yell over the blaring bass that was shaking the ground and echoing throughout The Sandlot. But her words were clear as day. "_This _is the music for me. This is my music."

And the rest was history.

Back in his room, Roxas shut off the song almost as immediately as it came on. It was like digging up a time capsule or seeing the ghost of an old friend or relative. And it left him with a cold spine and a pit in his stomach.

He felt hollow.

After he'd had a shower, Roxas put on his jacket and left his apartment for the first time all day. He'd missed the hours when venders were still selling and everyone was out in the streets playing games and cutting up with each other. Now, everyone was taking their afternoon naps.

He decided he wanted to go visit Hayner on his break. The bistro closed from 2:00 to 5:30 so that there was time to clean the kitchen and the little chef could come up with new entrées for dinner time.

But much to his surprise, he saw Naminé in The Sandlot. She was tiptoeing around, investigating everything she saw with a pen and notepad in hand.

He wasn't sure if he should disturb her or not. She looked really busy. But he figured it wouldn't hurt to say hi.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, hey, Roxas!" she stood up straight and hid her pencil and pad behind her back as though she was embarrassed. "What are you up to today?"

"The usual. Going to keep Hayner company on his break."

"Is he still hating his job?"

"_Oh _yeah. He's counting down the days until he has enough munny in his bank account to quit. The management is apparently awful. Not surprising. That McDuck guy is kind of a douche."

"So I've heard," Naminé laughed. "Is he still making him work overtime?"

"Every single night."

"That's a shame."

"And what are you doing out here?"

"Oh," the question clearly caught her off guard. "Well, I'm really supposed to be collecting mineral samples for Even, but I'm kind of just meandering right now."

"Wow, they have a 'witch with the power over Sora's memories and those around him' on the team now, and the best job they can give you is collecting mineral samples?"

She cracked up.

"I mean, I don't exactly have a reason to mess with anyone's memories right now. I guess they're just giving me something to do until they need me."

"That must be it. Well, I'll let you get back to it."

"Okay."

She got quiet all of a sudden: quieter than usual. Roxas had already waved goodbye and turned to leave.

"Roxas, can I talk to you about something?"

His heart thumped against his chest. He turned back towards her with inquisitive eyes and an open mouth. He had no idea what to expect.

"I've just… been thinking a lot," she folded her hands in front of her and contemplated what exactly she wanted to say, "And, I don't know. I've had a lot of fun hanging out with you, Hayner, Pence, and Olette so much lately. When you asked me that day at Hollow Bastion if I wanted to come hang out with you guys after work, I couldn't remember a time when I felt so wanted. And accepted. It was so much fun, and every time since then has been just as amazing as the first."

"I think so too."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He wanted to come off as cool and collected, but on the inside, nerves were burning him alive. He felt hot in the cheeks and his neck had started sweating.

"I'm so glad. Anyways, I was wondering if maybe you'd ever want to do something like that… With me. Like, just the two of us together." She hugged her notepad, clearly embarrassed. "Sorry if that's weird."

"No, no, not at all!" Roxas shook his head. "We can totally do that." He thought of Xion for a moment and felt guilty. But then he remembered the pit in his stomach. The feeling of hollowness. "I'd love to, actually."

Naminé's eyes lit up and Roxas had never seen her grin so wide before.

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me. I'm so glad you asked. How's next week?"

"Well, let's see. I'll be in the lab pretty much all week, and I told Kairi I would hang out with her on Friday. But I'm free on Saturday."

"Cool. I'll come pick you up at 11:00. Does that work? And we can have a nice dinner and then get ice cream."

"That sounds perfect."

"Alright. I'll see you then."

"Okay," she'd turned red in the face. "See you."

She gave him a quick hug and then scurried off towards Tram Common, clearly high on adrenaline and dopamine.

Truth be told, that was the last thing Roxas was expecting to happen that night. They'd become much better friends and had done a lot together recently, yes, but he was under the impression that she had eyes set on Riku. They'd also done a lot together. And he was shocked to know that she saw him as anything other than a good friend.

"Well that went on for a while."

"Hayner!" Roxas turned to find that his friend had been on the other side of a nearby building eavesdropping. "Dude, how long have you been standing there?"

"Oh, don't worry. I only caught the tail end. Come on, I've got some leftover crepes we can eat if you're not busy."

"I'm game. That's the whole reason I came down here."

"What, for crepes?"

"No, for you."

"Oh, I'm sure," he teased, "it's definitely not because I can get you free food."

—

The bistro felt so ominous during the break hours. Roxas was so used to seeing every seat at every table full of hungry, loud-mouthed people. But half the time Hayner worked, this is what he dealt with; silence and barrenness, like a vacuum in space. A dust bunny could've rolled by and it wouldn't have been out of place.

"That damn duck," he groaned, leaning back in his chair so far he nearly toppled over. "You wouldn't believe some of the things he made me do today."

"Settle down, now," Roxas laughed, "Isn't he like right inside? He could hear you."

"I _hope _he hears me," Hayner projected his voice towards the glass doors of the bistro. "Maybe he'll fire me and I can escape this French restaurant-turned-hellhole."

"You need the money."

"I know I need the money. That's the only reason I've stuck with it for so long. But anyways," he clenched his fists, "this lady ordered a crême brûlée. Little chef prepares it, perfectly burnt and everything. And she decides to wait until I bring it out to tell me that she's lactose intolerant. So I had to go ask for another one. And when I brought out the second one, she said she didn't like vanilla and _asked for a refund_," he was getting louder and louder. "Like, woman… That's basically all a crême brûlée is. Vanilla. It's literally just burnt vanilla."

Roxas cackled, and he had a hard time keeping the raspberry jelly in his mouth. "That's awful. People are so entitled."

"You don't know the half of it," he jabbed his fork into his crepe so that it scraped against the plate in an unpleasant screech. "So let's talk about Naminé."

Roxas rolled his eyes. It was only a matter of time before all other conversation halted dead in its tracks just so Hayner could pry.

"What about her?"

"Are you into her?"

"I don't know."

"_How _can you not know?" Hayner banged his elbows down on the table. "Forget that, how can you not be into her? She's beautiful and so, so nice."

"I know."

"I mean if you won't man up and try to get with her, then I will," he took another colossal bite out of his crepe. "But seriously, what gives?"

"I don't know. I mean it's definitely something I would consider, but I'm just not sure I want a relationship right now."

"Well what do you want?"

"What?"

"_What _do you want? Like, at this point in your life?"

It was a question Roxas had never even considered before. Not ever. Two and a half years ago, he couldn't have even fathomed it. He saw with someone else's eyes and heard with someone else's ears. The only "life" he had to speak of was the one he lived vicariously through Sora. And that hadn't been much of a life.

He used to spend every waking moment yearning for a life of his own. And now that he had one, he wasn't sure what to do with it.

"I don't know," he stared straight ahead. "That's such a loaded question. I don't even know how to begin to answer."

"Well, let's break it down a little," Hayner shrugged. "Are you happy here? In Twilight Town, I mean?"

"Yeah, I am," was the first thing that came to mind. That is, if happiness is defined by routine, structure, and seeing the same old people everyday. "I mean, to a certain extent. I know Twilight Town. I'm comfortable with Twilight Town. And I'm glad I get to see you guys everyday."

"Well yeah, but you can like and feel comfortable with something without it really being the right fit for you. I mean, do you see yourself staying here for the rest of your life? Or even for the next few years?"

To Roxas, Twilight Town had always meant home. It'd never meant anything other than home. Even when he lived in The World That Never Was, Twilight Town was home because that's where he would get ice cream with Axel and Xion after work. It was home when he was living in the data simulation because that's where Hayner, Pence, and Olette lived. And it was home every second he spent trapped inside of Sora. When he yearned for his own life, he yearned for a life in Twilight Town.

It was weird hearing Hayner describe Twilight Town like it was just another world. Not _the _world. Just _a _world. Not a place he had to live in, or even a place he had to visit. Just another place to be among billions of others.

"I… I don't think so," Roxas came to realize. "Sometimes it just doesn't feel the same anymore. You guys are all so busy with your jobs, and we don't have that much time to hang out. Axel and Isa are gone, and who knows when or if they'll ever come back? I used to kill a lot of time at the mansion with them, but I don't have that anymore. And… and Xion."

Hayner stared him dead in the eyes. And he never did that without turning it into some kind of joke or lightening up the mood a little. Roxas knew he was being serious.

"Whatever happened with you guys anyway?"

"I don't really wanna talk about it."

"Roxas…"

It was destiny that he should be forced to talk about it at some point. It was no longer something he could skate around or pretend as though it never happened at all. He had to stop carrying this baggage around. It'd been eating away at him for years now. Keeping him up at night.

"When I first got Xion and Axel back," he began. His voice trembled like the soft rumble of thunder. "It was the best day of my life. I'd thought they were both gone forever. And if I'm being honest, as much as Sora hoped that he could bring me back, I never thought he'd actually be able to do it. So when he did, I knew I had to make my life count."

Hayner listened intently. His hands were folded up over his mouth.

"And so I… I came up with all these ideas. I suggested that we should all live in the mansion in the woods together. Isa could come too, if that's what Axel wanted. And the way I pictured it in my head, things would stay more or less the same as they had been before. We'd still joke around and go get ice cream on the clock tower. It would be like everything that happened after I left the organization never happened at all. And I was so, so naive to think we could actually live that way."

He buried his face in his hands.

"Little did I know, Xion was suffering with PTSD and some serious abandonment issues. She tried so hard to hide it, and she did pretty well. For a while. She smiled, and laughed, and got ice cream with us everyday. I can't believe I didn't realize at the time how off she seemed. How tired she looked and how bloodshot her eyes were."

He wasn't one to cry. Especially not around Hayner, who would tease and torment people for being emotionally vulnerable.

But he couldn't help himself.

"I had no idea about it, until one day she woke us all up in the middle of the night with the most distressed, heartbreaking scream I've ever heard. It shook me to my core, and I was up and running to her room before I even had time to process what had happened:

I called her name. And when I saw her sobbing into her hands, borderline hyperventilating, I ran over and sat on her bed. And I held her in my arms, hoping she'd stop crying.

But she wouldn't stop.

A few seconds later, Axel and Isa came in. They were clearly panicked and didn't know what to do.

The first thing Axel thought of was asking if it was a nightmare. She wouldn't move her head from my chest, but she nodded vigorously.

'It was just a dream,' Axel said. 'It's not real. You're okay.'

'No,' she said, 'It is real. It's too real. I can't stop having these dreams where I go up to talk to you, and none of you know my name or anything about me. It's like I don't exist.'

And I'll never, ever forget the next thing she said.

'I can't keep doing this. I can't keep pretending I'm okay when I'm not. I'm not okay. Nothing is okay. I can't live here anymore. Or see you anymore.'

I felt my heart sink. I was so hurt by that. I couldn't believe what she just said. It didn't seem real.

I asked her what that meant, and she said that she needed a fresh start. That me, and Axel, and Isa just reminded her of the fact that, for over a year, everything about her right down to her memory had been wiped from existence. She could no longer pretend things were the same way they'd always been. And she couldn't be our friend anymore.

Axel understood. It was hard, but he was mature about it. Right off the bat, he told her that there was an empty apartment in Traverse Town he knew of, and he would help her move in in the morning. And they'd say their goodbyes. And that would be that.

It was madness to me.

'Have you all lost your minds?' is all I could say. 'What are you talking about, not being friends anymore? How can you bear to even think like that? Stop it. Both of you.'

Axel was losing his patience with me. But I was insistent.

'It's stupid for Xion to be alone,' I said. 'That can't possibly be good for her. She needs to stay right here. She belongs here.'

He disagreed, and that infuriated me even more. I said that I was only thinking about what's best for her.

And he said, 'Are you, Roxas? Or are you only thinking about what's best for _yourself_?'

He was right. I was being so selfish, but I was so shocked and heartbroken at the time that I couldn't even think straight. I just said whatever came to mind.

So when Axel pried Xion from my arms and carried her out the door and into a different room,

I yelled to her. I said that if she didn't ever want to see me again, then I didn't ever want to see her again either.

And I immediately regretted it. I felt sick to my stomach, and I even threw up later that night. Axel gave me the nastiest look when I said it. I'm still not sure he's forgiven me, wherever he is. It's all such a mess. Such a big mess, and it's all my fault."

"Good god, Roxas," Hayner was taken aback. He had no idea how bad it really was. "How long ago was that?"

"Almost _three _years ago."

"And you haven't seen Xion since then?"

"No, not even once. I've thought about going to see her so many times. I still think about it. If only to apologize for the awful things I said to her. It sucks. At least if I'd have kept my mouth shut, our friendship could've ended on a high note. I could've looked back fondly on all the memories we shared together. But now, it's like all those memories are tainted, and I can't think about any of it without feeling bitter and disgusted with myself."

"Well do you know where she is?"

"Still living in Traverse Town as far as I know."

Hayner contemplated, a thing he rarely did. He was more of an act now, think later type of person. But he had to think about this.

"I think you should go find her."

"What? Are you crazy?" Roxas went ballistic. "What makes you think she'd want to see me? She already said she never wanted to see me again _before _I said what I said. I probably just made things even worse. Besides, if she wanted to talk to me, she would've already come by now."

"Maybe not," Hayner shrugged. "I mean she could be feeling the same way you're feeling. What if she regrets what she said too, but thinks that you won't be able to forgive her?"

"It's different. She wasn't trying to hurt me when she said what she said. She was just trying to protect herself. Everything I said was totally out of spite."

"I guess so," he stretched out his arms, "But you'll never know for sure unless you go talk to her."

"And what if talking to her makes her PTSD worse?"

"Take someone else with you," he suggested. "Someone else she doesn't know as well. Have them ease her into the subject and then ask her if she'd be comfortable talking to you."

It wasn't a _bad _idea, per se. Just an insane one that only Hayner could've gotten him to consider. It gave him chills to know that, if he went through with it, he had the chance of seeing Xion again. And that meant leaving things off on a different note. It meant that yelling at her and telling her he never wanted to see her again would not be the last words he ever said to her.

It could be real closure. An amicable goodbye. A _real _goodbye.

"Okay," he muttered, "This is an absolutely ridiculous idea, but I'm tired of carrying this. If there's even an infinitesimal chance that I can make things right with Xion-even if it still means we can't be friends-then I want to try."

"That's my boy."

"I just don't know who I should take with me."

He flipped through a list of people in his head, but most people didn't quite fit the bill. Bringing Naminé might be awkward all things considered, and since she was the one who technically caused everyone to forget Xion, she would be a bad choice. So would Riku, who she didn't exactly mesh well with. Olette? Too nosy and invasive, he thought.

He was just about to give up when the perfect person came to mind. He would call them and explain everything.

And then it was time to go see Xion.


	3. Chapter 3: Red Socks and White Socks

Death Redacted:

Chapter 3: Red Socks and White Socks

"Whoa," The tiny girl studied the necklace as though it was some ancient artifact, twirling it and grazing her fingers along every bead. "Did you make it yourself?"

"I did," Xion grinned. She was thrilled to finally have a kid at her booth. She'd talked to no one but pretentious art dealers and critics all afternoon. "I painted all the beads and shells, and then I stuck them all together with a hot glue gun."

"Cool!" the girl handed it back to Xion as gently as she could, her hands cupped like she'd trapped a firefly. "Are the shells real?"

"They are real. I even picked them all out myself. Look." She reached underneath the table and came back with three photos, all taken at the same place but at different times of day.

"See? This is the beach where they came from."

The girl snatched the pictures from Xion and glossed over them, absorbing every shade and color into her mind. Her fingers traced the current all the way back to shore, and then she pointed when she saw shells.

"I see them! Look, Mommy, those are the same exact seashells on her necklace!"

"How about that," the mom laughed and scruffed up the girl's hair. She had many bags under her eyes to be so young. Must have been overworked. "Alright, I give in. How much for the blue necklace?"

"You really want to buy one?" Xion was flattered. It was only her second year showcasing her work at Traverse Town's Annual Art Festival, and last year her only customers had been delinquent boys who bought a necklace just so they could snap it in half right in front of her.

It was a nice change of pace to have someone take her seriously as a jewelry maker.

"Of course I want to buy one! Nothing's made her this happy in a long time. And besides, it'd be keeping up with tradition."

"Tradition?" It was one of those words Xion had heard before, either from locals or someone she'd observed while on a recon mission. But she couldn't quite remember what it meant.

"When I was a little girl, my mother bought me some pearls. They were _beautiful_. All-natural and white as can be. And even though she didn't let me wear them very much at that age, when I got to be a little older, I realized just how beautiful they really were. So I wore them every day. I still wear them sometimes." She tugged at the top of her blouse, revealing the pearls, which laid nicely on her collarbone. "See?"

Xion stared in awe at the woman as though she was a fortune teller. There had been no women in her life to instruct her or offer her meaningful advice. So the rare times she did talk to a woman, she was sure to document every word and nuance in her mind like a photograph.

"It's important to keep things that remind you of the people you love," she went on to say, her hand crossed over her heart. "Little did I know my mother would live only till I was in my early twenties. She was very sick. But now, these pearls are even more precious to me. They make me think of her when she was healthy and at her best. They're something to remember her by."

Xion's stomach rose suddenly, and before she knew it, she was breathing heavily in and out of her mouth as though she'd just run six miles. Her fingers began to twitch, and she gnawed down on her lower lip, just trying to keep it together.

"You're okay, Xion," she told herself. For the first time ever, she'd gone almost three full months without having an episode, and she wasn't about to break that streak now. Especially not in front of such a nice family.

But she knew she needed to get out of there as soon as she could.

"That's so sweet," she grinned, extending the necklace out towards the mom. "You know what? Don't worry about the money. Just take it."

"What? No, I couldn't possibly. Please, we brought money, I'll pay whatever you want for it."

But Xion had already risen to her feet.

"Nah, it's yours," she grabbed the rest of the necklaces and was walking as she spoke. "It was so nice meeting both of you."

The little girl was clearly apprehensive, hugging her mom's leg, a sour expression on her face.

But it comforted Xion when the mother nodded at her. Like she understood.

Much to her chagrin, the streets were full of venders and tents on every sidewalk and corner. Clearly, this year's festival was a much bigger affair than last year's had been, as there were so many people everywhere that Xion couldn't step in any direction without bonking into somebody.

"Excuse me?" A man in a top hat snapped when she brushed shoulders with him. "Watch where you're going!"

"I'm-I'm sorry," her words fumbled together. She'd been so focused on shoving and dodging her way back to the apartment that she hadn't noticed herself panting. But it was unmissable now. A fire had been lit behind her nose and in the back of her throat, and her chest was tighter than a noose.

The world around her was morphing into an abstract painting. All the people became blurry spots where her vision gave out, and all the red, yellow, and indigo lights married into one big chaotic splurge. She felt her knees begin to shake. And she was light-headed.

It was only a matter of time, she knew, before she'd black out onto the cobblestone.

Thankfully, amid the sea of tourists, she finally saw her apartment way in its little back corner. All the lights were still on inside, as she'd been in a rush that morning and had forgotten to flip them off.

She scoured her tiny purse for the keys and practically punched the door open. After slamming it behind her, she dropped her things, drew the curtains, and slid down the door frame with her face in her palms.

It was a homey place, if a little modest. Xion still remembered the morning she first moved in like it was yesterday.

"Sheesh, when was the last time anyone lived in this place?" Axel wafted the dust away from himself and towards Isa. "Sorry we couldn't find you somewhere a little more chic."

At that point, the whole floor plan was bare of any furniture except for an ancient wooden chest and a couch straight out the '70s. And the most dreadful orange curtains hung from the window.

"Don't worry about it, Axel. I can just…" she stood up on her tiptoes and reached for the curtains, but she was too short to yank them down.

"Need some help with that?" Barely having to lift a hand, he grabbed the other side of the curtains, and together they tore them from the window and trampled them beneath their shoes. "Much better."

"_So _much better," Xion laughed.

They held their gaze, and their smiles faded a little more with every passing second.

"Lea," Isa addressed him from the other side of the room. His arms were crossed and he was clearly getting impatient. "Don't forget about our meeting at Hollow Bastion."

"Yeah, yeah," Axel rolled his eyes. "Let us have our moment."

Xion's heart raced. There had been only a few times when she'd seen Axel be anything other than amicable and laid back. And this was one of those times. He was stuck halfway between a smile and a frown, and he hunched over so he could be at eye level with her.

"Now you listen to me," his voice cracked. "I know you don't know how to make yourself a proper breakfast, but it's not too late to learn. You have a phone now, and you can look up videos on how to cook. Chicken Alfredo, steak and fries, all your favorites. They're not so hard to make. And go to the grocery store regularly. You'll run out of milk and eggs sooner than you think."

"Lea."

"Just give me two minutes, Isa. Just two minutes."

Isa turned to face the door, and Axel continued on.

"And don't forget to wash your red socks and white socks separately. Otherwise, all your white socks will turn red. Oh, and if you're out buying cleaning spray, don't buy the brand that says '100% effective against bacteria' on the bottle. That's a lie, and it'll make your whole place smell like bleach."

"Okay," Xion smiled at him, but several tears fell from her eyes. "I'll be sure to remember that."

"And just one more thing," Axel assured her. "I know you said that you want to cut ties and, at least for right now, I think that's a good idea. I'll stand by your decision. But just know that if you _ever_ for any reason change your mind and want to come back, or if you ever need us for anything at all, we will all be ready and waiting to welcome you back. With us or apart, even if we never see you again… You're family, Xion. And we will always be there if you need us."

"Thank you, Axel."

And before he knew it, Xion had her arms wrapped around his neck. He welcomed her. His right shoulder got cold and wet all of a sudden, and he could feel her chest rise and fall between sobs.

"You're gonna be alright, kid."

"I know I will be," she wept, "But what about Roxas? Do you really think he meant what he said?"

Axel shook his head.

"Not a chance in hell," he pulled back just enough to see her face. "Are you kidding? You know he's crazy about you."

"But he said"-

"He wasn't thinking straight. He was upset and just blurted out whatever he was feeling at the time. He's taking this all really hard, but he'll be alright. He's just got a lot of growing up to do. But I know he'd love to have you back just as much as we would."

"Lea," Isa chimed in once more.

"Alright." He knew he couldn't keep his friend waiting any longer. "I guess this is goodbye for real then." They'd already started heading out the door. "Meet up with us for ice cream in ten years. How about it?"

"I'll definitely think it over," Xion laughed.

They stared at each other with more warmth and fondness than either of them could fathom.

"Goodbye, Xion."

"Goodbye, Axel."

And then she was alone again.

The first year on her own had not been easy, let alone the first few nights. She'd forgotten all her candles and nightlights back at the mansion, and even the street lights outside were not enough to salvage the room from its oppressive darkness.

It was frigid too. When she was still living with the boys, they'd discovered that 64 degrees was the perfect sleeping temperature for all of them. But here, 64 degrees felt more like 34. No matter how many layers of pajamas she slipped into and blanket forts she constructed around herself, the place was still an ice cap.

And her dreams were hardly better than they'd been before. At first, Roxas and Axel's absence was like a withdrawal: her heart yearned for them, and so they showed up in all her dreams. Still vivid and in character. And when she went up to talk to them, they retreated as though she was a total stranger.

She cried herself awake one night and instinctively reached for her phone. All she wanted at that moment was to hear Roxas's voice and have him tell her that he remembered her. Or even something more.

That night in the castle came to mind.

It was one of the first nights she'd woken up from her coma. And even though Saïx had expressly forbidden the both of them from wandering the halls at night, Roxas had snuck to her room.

Xion was surprised to say the least when he knocked on her door.

"Roxas, what are you doing here?" she whispered, hoping she wouldn't wake anyone up.

"You need to go back to bed. I don't want us to get in trouble. Saïx might actually murder us if he finds out you're here."

"I know," he sighed. "It's just, a few days ago I wasn't sure you'd be able to wake up again. So now that you are awake, it seems important to say goodnight."

"Say goodnight?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Axel says it's what you say when you want to let someone know that you really mean it."

"And what do you really mean?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I'm still figuring it out myself. I mean, I guess us nobodies can't really _mean _much of anything, right? But all I know is that I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad you're here too."

Through the crack in the window, crickets chirped for miles all around, and every now and then a firefly whizzed past, its dream-like glow on display.

As Roxas stood there in the dark, the moon only barely lighting his face, Xion wondered why talking to him like this felt so different from how it usually did. They were friends after all. As far as she knew, there were no secrets between them. But she usually felt relaxed and let loose around him. Now, her stomach turned and her skin crawled.

But it felt special.

"Would you want to stay and talk for awhile?" she asked.

"Really?" Roxas was shocked. Didn't she just ask him to leave? "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she laughed. "I've gotten so much sleep lately that I can't even think about going to bed right now."

"Um, sure, I guess I can stay for a while." Now Roxas was feeling high-strung too.

They had to stay incredibly quiet. Xion was right: if Saïx happened to be outside patrolling the corridors and heard them, then they would be in big trouble for sure. But somehow, they managed to stay up for several more hours telling stories and cackling so hard it's a wonder that no one woke up.

"Wait, wait, he did what?" Roxas whispered, popping a pretzel stick in his mouth. They'd decided to ransack the snack bag Xion kept on her nightstand.

"Yeah," she covered her mouth, trying to hold back her laughter as well as the jelly beans she was chomping on. "He grabbed his spear thing and started beating the other card guy with it until he fell to the ground. And then they straight up got into a fight in the middle of the court hearing. Like, punching, slapping, and everything. One guy even got his nuts kicked in."

"What?" Roxas nearly choked. "I didn't even know cards had nuts."

"Neither did I," Xion tried to catch her breath. "But you learn something new everyday."

They both released the little bit of laughter they had left and then, for the first time all night, it was quiet.

They were both sitting cross-legged on her bed, so close together that their knees were touching. Xion could've sworn her heart was racing, even if she was convinced she didn't have one at the time.

"Well, we don't want to be falling asleep on our missions tomorrow," Roxas broke the silence. "I guess I better go."

But he didn't actually get up from her bed and, strangely, Xion found that she didn't want him to.

"Yeah, I guess you better."

"Tonight's been so much fun though," he assured.

"It's so weird. Sometimes I wonder if having a heart can really be so different from not having a heart. Because even without one, I feel so happy when I'm with you and Axel."

"You guys make me happy, too. But just think, Roxas. When we actually do get hearts, those feelings will be even stronger. We'll make each other even happier."

"I guess we will."

"We definitely will."

It got quiet again. And Xion knew that Roxas was looking at her differently than he ever had before. Like there was something really important he needed to say.

She saw fear in his eyes. Like he didn't fully understand what was coming over him. Petrified. But he slid his hand up over her's, and she let him.

Neither of them could explain what happened next. It felt so natural, like some primal instinct they were unaware they had. But so alien. Roxas cupped his hands around either side of her face, closed his eyes, and moved in closer and closer until Xion could feel his lips soft and warm against her own.

If she didn't have a heart, she wondered how she was experiencing so many feelings; feelings she couldn't even quantify or put into words. Feelings that seemed to possess her and guide her to her next move, and feelings she had no control over.

She squeezed her eyes shut and kissed him back. A kiss, right? That's what this was called? That thing people did when they cared. She'd only seen it happen once, and she'd never even considered that maybe it could happen between people who didn't have hearts. So she thought back to the kiss she'd seen and imitated it, sifting her fingers through Roxas's hair and moving her lips.

When they fell back down onto her bed, Xion having pushed him back a little, they both pulled away, terrified of what they were feeling.

"What is this?" Roxas's voice trembled. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know. I don't know what's happening."

"Do you want to stop?"

"Yeah," she realized, "I think we should."

Both of them burning red and more jittery than they'd ever felt, they rolled to the side, leapt up from the bed, and turned away from each other.

"I'm sorry," Roxas held his hand over his chest. What was pulsing? "I don't know what came over me."

"No, no, it's okay," Xion insisted. "It came over me too."

The air was dead silent save for their breathing. They both had their eyes wide open, and they wanted more than anything to calm down and regain some semblance of control.

"I should go," Roxas quipped.

"Yeah."

"Goodnight, Xion."

"Goodnight."

And he was gone. Xion would have to find a way to stuff down these neurotic feelings before she went to bed. And she'd have to do it by herself.

—

Those were the kinds of things she thought about when she woke up in the middle of the night. A warm look. Laughter. Even that feeling she didn't understand. Something to bring her comfort and assure her that she'd be alright.

She wanted Roxas and Axel back. It would've been so easy to collect her things, spring carefree down the streets of Traverse Town, and never look back. Arrive back at the mansion, see the looks on their faces. Resume that sweet, sweet life with Roxas and Axel.

But she knew deep down that it would only bring her pain.

She was taken back to her bathroom mirror; her routine of covering her sores and the places where she'd dug at her skin with makeup. Hoping no one would ask about the bald spots on her head that she was so embarrassed about.

Practicing breathing correctly, swallowing a bottles' worth of pills she wasn't supposed to have.

And she remembered why she left in the first place.

It had to have been the worst pain imaginable if it meant ripping her away from her two best friends in the world. But it really had been just that bad. The weight she'd lost, the sadness she felt. Night after night of sleep terrors and insomnia.

She knew she had to forget Roxas and Axel.

So she did. But it wasn't as though she had no friends to care for her. When she saw signs and flyers for an amateur art club that met up every Wednesday and Saturday, she figured she'd try her luck.

And she made friends there. Not the kind she'd share her deepest feelings with or even go get ice cream with. Just people to chat with. People who knew her name.

And she heeded Axel's advice: learned to cook. Learned to clean. She burned her hand on the stove now and then, and once she did end up buying the wrong cleaning spray (and Axel wasn't kidding when he said it'd make everything smell like bleach). But all in all, she grew to be quite the competent young woman.

It frustrated her to no end, then, that she still couldn't seem to do the most basic things like sell jewelry without having a panic attack.

There was a knock at the door.

She rolled her eyes. Of course the moment she arrived back in her apartment, someone just had to come asking for directions.

"Who is it?" she yelled from the floor. All the rude people she'd encountered had caused her to harden up a bit when necessary.

"Oh," a soft voice was barely audible through the crack in the door. "Xion? Sorry if this isn't the best time. But it's me, Kairi. Do you have a minute?"

Xion couldn't believe her ears.

In a split second, she opened the door and was shocked to see that it really was Kairi: although the girl looked much older now and more jaded than Xion remembered.

"Wow," Xion cupped a hand over her mouth. "I can't believe it. It's so nice to see you. How have you been?"

"Pretty good I think," Kairi laughed. She had to consider it for a moment. "And you?"

"I've been alright," Xion didn't even know where to start. But she couldn't help but notice Kairi's blue lips and quivering shoulders. "I can tell you're cold. You wanna come inside?"

"I'd love to, actually."

"Well here, let me take your jacket. And you can make yourself at home."

Kairi didn't know much about decorations herself (besides what Naminé had taught her over the last few days), but she couldn't help but fawn over what Xion had done to the place. There were wooden bookshelves mounted to the walls, perfectly thawed out with nifty little designs carved out on each side. They must've been seashells. And the place was blossoming with plant life, potted cacti and succulents on the coffee table and every shelf.

"It's so cute in here."

"Thank you!" Xion got all bashful. "So what brings you into town anyway? Are you here for the art festival?"

"There's an art festival?"

"Yeah, every single year! I've even had my own tent set up for the past couple years."

She retrieved the necklaces from her purse, and Kairi fell in love with them almost instantly. If there was one thing the two girls shared in common, it was a love for all things nautical. Especially seashells.

"These are so pretty," Kairi praised her work. "Are you selling them? I don't know if I'll be able to walk out of here without this purple one." She hung it around her neck and glanced in the mirror.

"I am," Xion laughed. "But you can just have that one."

"Aww, are you sure? I have some money."

"Yeah, I'm sure," she gaited over to the kitchen, where she pulled two mugs from the cabinet. "Do you like tea? I've been trying this new blend from the grocery store called 'paopu jasmine.' It's so good."

"Wow, that does sound good," Kairi nodded, "Sure, I'll take some!"

"Cool."

As Xion busied herself in the kitchen, boiling water and scouring drawers for teabags, Kairi felt her stomach rumble and twist into knots. She never could've expected that during her first week back to real life, she'd be invested in the potentially life-changing situations of her friends. But she was there on a mission. With a clear-cut purpose.

And she knew she couldn't keep stalling.

"So why did you say you were here again?" Xion tried her best to pose the question without sounding rude.

"Well, actually…" Kairi crafted her words very carefully, "I came to see you."

"Really? Just to like, come and visit me?"

"Yeah." But she knew that leaving it at that would be dishonest. "Well, I'd be lying if I said that's the only reason. I wanted to see how you've been doing. You know, since what happened with Roxas and Axel."

"You know about that?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"Roxas," Kairi admitted, "He told me everything. I'm sorry to pry. I know this probably seems really invasive."

"No, don't worry, you're fine," Xion shook her head. "I've been doing relatively well, I think. It's been an adjustment for sure. But I've made a few friends and I'm doing alright financially. I do still have episodes now and then, though. Did he tell you about that too?"

"Yeah, he did."

"I figured. Yeah, I still have a really hard time sleeping. I have to be on special medicine to help me fall asleep. But the panic attacks are few and far between for the most part."

"That's good," Kairi held her breath. "And do you ever see Roxas or Axel?"

Xion finished stirring the teas, brought them to the coffee table, and sat down next to Kairi.

"No, I don't," she sighed. "I've been trying to kind of move on from that time in my life."

"To help you get over everything?"

"Yeah," she took a sip, "And I think it's helped."

"Do you ever miss them?"

"Every single day," Xion's voice cracked. "I think I'd like to see them again someday. Maybe. If I can ever get totally over this. If the attacks ever fully go away."

"And how soon do you think that would be?"

"I have no idea," Xion shrugged. "Why do you ask?"

"Well…" Kairi's voice faded out, softer than a whisper. She stared down at the mug in her hands. "Because I brought someone here to see you."

"What?"

"Only if you're 100% comfortable with it," Kairi assured. "He said he wouldn't come inside unless I'd cleared it with you."

"Who? Roxas?"

"Yeah."

Xion's heart plummeted to the pit of her stomach. Blood rushed to her cheeks and she suddenly felt like she might pass out.

Roxas. Her best friend. Her confidant and partner-in-crime. The boy she'd spent the last two and a half years trying to forget about.

He was really right outside. All she had to do was open the door. But would it really be for the best?

In that moment, it didn't matter much to her.

"Tell him to come in," Xion stood up and tried to catch her breath. "I want to see him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Kairi rose from the couch and creaked the door open. She was halfway outside, and Xion could see that she was nodding her head and whispering something.

Struggling to keep her composure, Xion inched her way to the door, her arms wrapped around herself like a shaw. Her head pounded. And she'd never felt more nervous in all her life.

In walked Roxas.

The second their eyes met, they both felt a chill surge down their spines. How was it that Roxas still had that same boyish grin, even though he was a half-a-foot taller now and could easily be in his twenties? How was it that Xion still looked so sweet and youthful, even with a slimmed down face and hair just as long as Kairi's?

"Hey, Xion," Roxas couldn't break their gaze.

"Hey."

It was dead silent, and Kairi knew they were both so tense that she'd have to lead the conversation.

"Come on in, Roxas," she prompted him.

But he didn't even hear her.

"All he way in," she had to grab him by the arm and shut the door behind him.

That seemed to snap him back to reality a bit.

"You look incredible," he told Xion without even thinking, "I love the whole edgy look. The dress, the boots, the jacket."

"Oh, thanks," she chuckled and spun sideways a bit, "looks like we kind of match."

"We do, don't we?"

They laughed together, and for a second, it was like they'd never stopped being a part of each other's lives.

But it was short-lived.

"Well, sit down," Xion insisted. "I made Kairi some tea, but I know you're not the biggest tea drinker. I do have some coffee though. Want any?"

"Yeah, I'll take some," Roxas hung his jacket on the coat rack and sat down next to Kairi. They nodded at each other while Xion wasn't looking.

"Okay," Xion started up the coffee maker. "Does it matter which flavor?"

"Have any sea-salt caramel?"

"I do, actually!" she grinned.

Roxas and Kairi made small talk while Xion fixed the coffee. When she brought it to the table, she sat down on the loveseat across from them.

It felt like a dream for everyone involved.

"Well how have you been? How's Axel?" Xion had too many questions to ask just one at a time. "Are you guys all still living in the mansion together?"

"No," Roxas shook his head. "Actually, Axel and Isa have both been gone for about a year. Even and them found some new worlds, and they went out to explore them. I'm back in the apartment."

"Oh. The same one you lived in before?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "And what about you? How's your life?"

"Good. I work at a local boutique. And I've made some friends in the art class I've been going to."

"You've been taking an art class?" Roxas smirked.

"Yeah, what's so funny about that?" She had to keep herself from reaching over the table and slapping him on the shoulder.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking about the dusk picture."

"Geez, Roxas, three years later and you still won't let that go?"

"Oh of course not," he laughed. "You're never living that down. Never."

Xion rolled her eyes and slid down the back cushion of the couch, getting comfortable.

"Well it's not my fault dusks are so hard to draw."

"Are they though?"

"Yes! Their arms are so squiggly and they move so weird."

"Or maybe you just suck at drawing," he teased.

"Okay maybe that's part of it," Xion admitted, "But that's why I'm taking an art class."

"I guess that would make sense."

The rest of the evening was more of the same. Teasing and snapping at each other. Kairi got so lost in all their stories and inside jokes that, by the end of the night, she was no longer sure what they were talking about.

And they'd seemed to have forgotten she was there too.

At a quarter to midnight, Kairi found herself struggling to keep her eyes open. She was ready to leave and, as well as everything had been going, she wasn't sure Roxas would be ready to follow.

"It's getting pretty late," Kairi yawned. "Naminé will be wondering what happened to me. I better head back."

"Me too," said Roxas, much to her surprise. "I told Pence I'd help him with a story tomorrow. But Xion," he was serious for the first time all night, "it was so, so awesome finally seeing you again. And I'm so glad you're doing well."

"I'm glad," she beamed, "It was great seeing you too."

"So would you wanna…" his voice cut out, and both girls could tell he was terrified to keep speaking. "I mean do you wanna like… see each other again soon?"

"Oh."

Xion broke eye contact and took a small step backwards.

Roxas felt his heart sink deep into his chest.

As much as Xion had been reveling in the fact that she was finally getting to see Roxas again, she hadn't even stopped to think about the implications of their little meet-up. They'd officially broken their silence. Seen each other again. Spoken again.

And that meant that Xion would have to decide whether or not she wanted to pick their friendship back up.

The word "yes" danced on the tip of her tongue and nearly escaped her lips. She could be his friend again. Even live with him again, if she wanted to.

But as blissful as that sounded in her head, it'd taken almost three years to reduce her night terrors down to panic attacks she had only once every three weeks.

And she knew what her answer had to be.

"Um, I," she didn't quite know how to put it into words. She knew she'd break his heart either way. "I guess I kind of figured that maybe this was just a one-time thing. You know?"

She'd never seen the joy leave someone's eyes so quickly. Roxas nodded slowly and stared down at the floor.

It was like he was disassociating.

"Oh, okay." She could barely hear him. His voice was like a whisper. "I guess I just thought that… I mean, it seemed to be going so well."

"It was going well, Roxas."

She tried to place a hand on his cheek, but he pulled back.

"Don't do that."

"What? Why not?"

"Come on," he shook his head. "You know why not."

"Roxas, I"-

"No, it's okay. Really, it is." He covered up his eyes with his hands. "You're okay. Really. And I'm not mad."

No one said anything. Kairi's heart raced as she watched her two friends, and her heart broke for them both.

She couldn't believe Xion still didn't want to be his friend.

"I'm sorry, Roxas."

"It's okay. You don't have to keep apologizing."

"It's just… the dreams."

"I know," he wiped the tears from his eyes as discreetly as he could manage, "I understand. It's not your fault."

And in that moment, Roxas had to show more maturity than he ever had before. He wasn't about to make the same mistake as last time; say something hurtful. Leave things off on a bitter and sour note.

He dried his eyes, looked up at her, and grinned.

"Thank you, Xion," he said. "For being my friend."

And that's all he needed to say. No long, poetic speech or drawn out monologue could've done her more justice.

Years of resentment were erased.

"Thank you, Roxas," Xion found herself on the verge of tears. "I'll never forget you."

"I'll never forget you either."

And it was like he fulfilled a promise to her that he'd never even made.


	4. Chapter 4: The Worlds Between

Death Re:Dacted

Chapter 4: The Worlds Between

"And then, after I'm done compiling all my research," Naminé's words flowed together in the cadence of a stream, rippling and splashing like salmon against a river-bank, "They want me to pack it all in this neat little envelope. And then I have to write my name on it. Not in print, though. It's gotta be in cursive, because 'science isn't all research. It's poise, and presentation, and professionalism.'"

"Hey, that was pretty spot on," Riku took a huge bite out of his apple, "Although I think you should be a little more nasally and pretentious sounding. And like you haven't stepped out of a laboratory or seen the sun in five years."

"Thanks," she licked each edge of the envelope, sealing it shut. "But I don't want to be mean."

"It wouldn't be mean, just accurate. And that's what Even likes, right? 'Unmatched precision in all data and documentation.'"

"I think you have the better impression out of the two of us," she chuckled.

"Definitely not. You've had to spend way more time with him than I have. I'm just relieved he hasn't rubbed off on you too much. We'll start worrying when your hair turns grey and you have one eye bulging out of its socket."

Naminé broke into a fit of laughter just as Ienzo entered the room.

"Sounds like you two are getting a lot of work done."

"Oh. Sorry, Ienzo. I was just taking a little break from filing."

"You don't have to apologize to me," he assured, "although Even is waiting for you whenever you're ready."

"Okay. I've got everything organized the right way, I'm pretty sure. I'll see you, Riku," she said, "Thank you for helping me with my files today. Even if we mostly just messed around. The company is always nice."

"Don't mention it."

She sifted through the files in her hand, touching each and every one as tenderly as she might a newborn child.

Then she was gone.

On that particular day, Riku had a million things he needed to be doing. The computer that Even had just recently installed was rampant with glitches and bugs, and Cid needed all the help he could get to make it run properly. Aerith and Yuffie were helping Leon set up a new program in the datascape: one that allowed for inter-dimensional communication. Even Demyx and Larxene could've used a new opponent in their biweekly battle session.

"If I have to smack down this mullet-headed buffoon one more time," Larxene would say, "I swear I might have to go jump off a cliff. Can't anyone make this even remotely challenging for me?"

So much to do, and they all could've used a hand. But the thought of doing any of it right now was enough to make Riku want to vomit.

From his pocket he retrieved something he liked to fidget with quite often; it was a lotus flower, light pink in the petals and white on the edges. It had been polished up and locked in a tiny glass case.

Riku still remembered the day Naminé gave it to him.

"So what are you doing with them again?"

"Well, we figured out the other day that this type of lotus flower doesn't exist in any of the other worlds; it can only be found here," she had three, four, five lotus flowers laid out in her hand in a diagonal pattern. Even when just holding onto something, she had to make it visually pleasing. "We're trying to figure out what's so special about the water and soil conditions here. They must be special to allow this type of flower to grow."

"They're beautiful," said Riku. Even when living in a world most would consider to be an island dream, he'd never had much of an eye for nature's wonders. The sky was blue. The sun set red. All it took was Naminé to make him realize how vast and colorful everything around him truly was.

"Aren't they?" she held them up to the light, "I've been trying to think of a way I could incorporate them into a drawing. But I'm not sure how. I don't wanna just draw them. I like drawing people. Maybe Aqua could put one in her hair and I could draw it."

"Why don't you just draw yourself?"

"Huh?"

"I think these flowers mean more to you than they mean to Aqua," Riku laughed. "And you've spent so many hours out here messing with them. You should draw yourself looking at them or pulling them out of the water."

Naminé's eyes lit up with curiosity. She was dumbfounded, as though the idea of drawing herself had never even occurred to her.

"But, how will I be able to get it right?" she asked, "I won't be able to see myself."

"That's what these are for," he pulled his gummiphone out from his bag. "Here, I can take a picture of you if you want. And you can use that as your reference."

"Oh, okay," and it was like the confident woman Riku saw before him transformed back into the shy little girl he met in Castle Oblivion. She wrapped her arms around herself and giggled awkwardly. "Are you sure about this?"

"Of course. As long as you want to do it."

"I do. I'm just," she rubbed her arm up and down, "Not sure how I should sit."

"Just do whatever feels natural: what you would do if you were out here looking at them by yourself. Pretend I'm not even here."

"Okay."

She lowered herself to the ground, at first on her knees, but then she decided that was too stilted. A variety of different poses and positions, but none of them would make for a convincing candid shot. So she finally scooted to the edge and dipped her feet in the water.

"How's this?" she flashed Riku a smile.

In the wind, her golden hair bounced around like wheat or corn tassels on a breezy day. Against the backdrop of the pond, her eyes were wider and a deeper blue than any sea could boast. Her cheeks were so soft-looking. Her grin was so bright.

"It's great," he said as he snapped the photo. "The lighting is really good too. Come see for yourself."

Naminé leapt to her feet and scampered over to Riku, leaning over him to see.

"Wow, it does look good! Thank you, Riku. I never would've thought to draw myself."

"Don't mention it."

"Oh yeah! I almost forgot," she reached down into her bag and tried her best to hide what she was grabbing from sight. "I wanted to give you this."

Riku didn't know quite how to react when she uncupped her hands and the framed lotus flower slid into his palms. It was so small and delicate.

"You've helped me so much lately, and I guess I figured, 'what better way to thank you?' I thought this one was the prettiest of all the ones we've sampled."

"I think so too," he danced the trinket between his fingers, taking the time to study each and every petal. "Thank you, Naminé."

"Of course."

Things had changed a lot between them since that day; for a brief stretch of time, they spent days together losing themselves in the streets of Hollow Bastion or even exploring the worlds beyond.

But nothing more than friendship ever blossomed.

"It's not too late you know," back in the lab, Ienzo snapped Riku out of his daze.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You should tell her how you feel," he glanced out the office window, which overlooked the rest of the lab like an amphitheater. Naminé was down there reading something off to Even. "She's been alone her whole life, you know. And I know that her heart is yearning for partnership."

He could've gotten embarrassed or defensive about Ienzo's prying. But what was the use?

"I don't know," Riku shook his head. "We're such good friends now. If I try to take things to the next step, and it doesn't end up working out, it might ruin our friendship."

"Perhaps," Ienzo shrugged, turning away from the window. "But what's the alternative? Never telling her and watching idly while someone else takes her from you?"

Sweat seeped down Riku's neck like raindrops on a car window. Of course, the idea had crossed his mind many times. But Ienzo talked about it with such urgency. Like it was a reality, not just a hypothetical.

And Riku suddenly felt the need to act.

Startling them both, Leon came barging into the office, totally out of breath.

"Both of you come down to the lab, right now," he panted.

"Is everything alright?" asked Ienzo, "Is it the samples?"

"No. It's Lea and Isa."

Not wasting a second, all three of them bolted out the door and down the stairs, nearly tripping over each other's legs they were running so fast.

Sure enough, Lea and Isa were kneeling down on the tile, hands to the floor. Both only barely conscious.

"Oh my god," Riku didn't even know where to start. "What happened?"

"I'll tell you what happened," Axel extended both his arms, pivoting his torso just trying to stretch out every last muscle in his body. "We tore through a portal to make it back here."

"How? And why?"

"We ran into a bit of trouble," said Isa.

"Big black demon-looking things," Axel tried to paint the picture using gestures. "Massive, a bunch of wings, and no eyes. They were right on our tail for light-years, I swear. We only barely made it out alive."

"And the worlds?" Even was already taking notes. Clearly, tending to Axel and Isa's countless injuries was not on his priority list.

"Darker," Isa answered. It was more than he usually said at a time. "Much larger, and much more dangerous. If we send anyone back there for recon, we'll need to be sure they're in numbers and perfectly equipped for the job."

"Leave it to us," Leon said under his breath. Yuffie and Aerith weren't back from wherever they were, but Riku knew he was talking about them.

"You poor things," Naminé couldn't bear to see her friends hurting. "You both need to rest. Let's get you up off the floor."

She linked arms with both of them and tried her best to hoist them to their feet. But she was too tiny to make it all the way up.

"We've got it," Riku took Isa, and Leon helped Axel stabilize himself.

"Thanks," Axel brushed the dust from his coat. They'd had to put them back on to ward off the darkness. "Now, time to get out of this old thing."

Riku and Leon were just about to help them across the lab when the doors flew open. As soon as the light hit his face, Axel turned to his left. It was instinctive.

He just knew.

"Axel."

"Roxas."

Even after becoming his friend, Riku had never seen Roxas so euphoric, so hopeful. He looked like he might cry. Kairi, who was walking in behind him, wouldn't have been able to keep up with him if she tried.

"I'm so glad you're back," Roxas shook as he flung his arms around Axel's neck. He could've knocked him backwards. "I'm sorry I just now got here."

"Don't be," Axel patted him on the head as they pulled apart from each other. "I know you came as quickly as you could."

A silence lingered in the air as Axel decided how to phrase his next question.

"And… Xion?"

Roxas shook his head, and his smile faded almost instantly.

"No."

"Oh," Axel sighed. He'd hoped for the best while he and Isa were gone. Maybe his young friends would come around and realize they still wanted to be a part of each other's lives.

But it wasn't meant to be.

"Axel, I'm so glad you made it back safely," Kairi was the next one to move in for a hug.

"I'm so glad to see you awake," he laughed, "I hear you've been asleep for a really long time."

"I have been."

"But you're doing alright now? Not spacing out too much or anything?"

"I'm a lot better I think."

"Lea," Isa nudged him. "The portal."

"Right," Axel's voice rose above all others, "Guys, I need everyone to listen to me. Now, I don't want to go getting anyone's hopes up but, while we were gone, we found this place. This world, if you can even call it that. It's special though. There are no heartless, no nobodies. Just hundreds of miles of water you can walk on."

"Water that you can walk on?" asked Even. "Curious. Ienzo, make sure you're getting all this in the system."

"On it."

"Yeah, you can walk on it," Axel nodded, but he knew they were all missing the point. "But that's not the reason I'm talking about it. The reason I'm talking about it is because…. Well, everyone we met there was either dead or missing from their home world."

Kairi had been only halfway paying attention until this point. She found herself in a nearly constant state of fatigue, even though it'd been a whole week since she'd arisen. But while everyone else was struggling to connect the dots, her heart was collapsing in on itself.

"Does that mean…" her voice rattled. She never imagined it could really be possible.

"Sora," Isa nodded.

She cupped her hands over her mouth, and Roxas and Naminé clasped onto each of her shoulders. That kind of news was enough to make anyone break down, especially someone who still wasn't quite used to being conscious.

Kairi couldn't even think straight. Let alone respond. During her year-long sleep, her mind had invented ways to help her cope with her loss: new friends. Friends who just stopped existing altogether like Riku or Naminé. All in a vain attempt to absolve her of grief and help her to move past Sora.

But she was still nauseous with sadness every single day. And for the first time in years, she had a chance.

She had hope.

"We have to get back there now," Riku decided, "Leon, get the others."

"Not so fast now," Isa stepped in, "None of you can even comprehend how dangerous it is out there. Those creatures are waiting at the edge of every world boundary, and if they reach you, you won't be making it out alive. They're subtle. Silent. They'll track you down like predator to prey, and then it's over."

"Then we better take everyone we've got," Riku shook his head. Clearly, it didn't matter to him how dangerous this might have been. "If there's even a chance that Sora could still be out there somewhere, we can't just sit around. We need to go, and we need to go right now."

"I'll go find Aerith and Yuffie."

"Returning to the new world in large numbers may sound like the logical course of action, yes," Even contemplated. "But consider… we still know so very little about the worlds between, let alone what sort of creatures inhabit them. If everyone goes, we may be opening ourselves up to threats we are unable to understand, let alone obliterate. Rather, I propose that most of us should stay here in Hollow Bastion. Otherwise, we may all end up deceased, and there will be no one left to carry on with our research."

Riku was about to object but, the more he thought about it, the more he realized Even was probably right. And would Sora really be okay with so many of his friends risking their lives for his sake?

"Okay. Then who's going and who's staying?"

"I'm going," Roxas said. He wasn't about to listen to anyone's dissenting opinion. "Sora was willing to die just so I could be standing here right now, with my own life. Same for Naminé, and same for Xion. If anyone needs to go out and look for him, it's me."

"I'd join you," Axel laughed. He was leaning on Isa for support. "But I think I could use a little rest."

"Don't worry," Riku assured, "I'll go with him."

"I want to go."

"Kairi, I think you need to stay here and rest," Riku laid a hand on her shoulder. He felt awful for saying it, but it was the truth. "You're still getting back up on your feet. And imagine how Sora would feel if something terrible happened to you out there. I doubt we'd even be able to get him to come back with us."

As much as it ailed her, she knew Riku was probably right. Even more so than going out to look for him, she owed it to Sora to stay safe until he returned.

"Just the two of us, then?" asked Roxas.

"I think that's our safest bet," Even pored over the pages and pages of notes in his arms. "I'll need Ienzo and Naminé's assistance. And your chances of survival will be greater if Leon and the others stay here to help us track you on the navigation device."

"Alright then," Riku nodded. "Everyone, get some rest. We leave tonight."

—

Just outside the castle, Kairi and Roxas sat on the steps overlooking the courtyard. They'd stopped by one of the food stands in the market to get ice cream. Chocolate with nuts. It was no sea-salt, but not bad either.

"How are you feeling?" Kairi asked. She'd always liked Roxas, although until now, they'd had a very one-dimensional friendship.

"I'm okay," he said. But his slouched posture and monotone suggested otherwise. "I guess I just thought… I mean, she seemed like she really wanted to see me again. I guess I should've been expecting this to happen though."

"You know it's not because you did anything wrong, right? She loves you and Axel. But she has to do what's best for her health."

"I know," he sighed. "Thanks, Kairi."

They sat in silence for a moment, licking their ice creams and staring up at the sky. It was a gorgeous amalgamation of cyan and light pink.

"Are you feeling ready for tonight?"

"I am," he said. "I don't really know what to expect, but I'm ready to do whatever it takes to bring Sora back."

"Yeah," Kairi wrapped both arms around her knees. "I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up. I don't want to be devastated again."

"I know. But it only took Axel and Isa a little bit of time to get back through the portal. So if he really is still out there somewhere, we'll all know in just a couple days."

"That's true," she said.

They made small talk for a bit longer, about Naminé, their respective friendships with Axel, about Riku. It's a wonder that they shared so many friends in common but had never been particularly close friends themselves.

Riku came outside and interrupted their little outing.

"I think Even's got everything set up."

"Okay," Roxas yawned, and he and Kairi rose from the steps.

"What, are you feeling too tired to go now?" Riku teased.

"Oh shut up."

Kairi cackled, and they all walked back inside the castle together.

In the lab, Even had strung up a whole host of wires and cables that were so complex and interwoven they resembled giant rats' nests. Apparently, Riku and Roxas would be able to enter through the portal without any need of a ship. Instead, Leon and Aerith had dug up some old armor from deep in the treasury, and Ienzo had spent all evening attaching shield and location devices to the arms and legs.

Instead of a traditional mask, the head pieces were overlaid with a glassy screen, which would enable them both to see Ienzo's coordinates for as long as they maintained a signal.

"Leon told me to help you put this on," Naminé laughed nervously. She and Roxas had stepped off to the side while everyone was distracted.

Kairi was helping Riku.

"Well aren't I lucky?" he teased, "I can't wait to be stuck in this thing for the rest of the week. It sure would be nice if we could breathe in space without an oxygen mask. God, it's gonna be so uncomfortable."

"I bet," she helped him slip off his leather jacket.

From the other side of the room, Riku was dying a little on the inside.

"So," Roxas went on as they both strapped Ienzo's various gadgets to his arms, "You still free on Saturday?"

"Yeah," she didn't even have to stop and think about it. "I am. I mean, as long as you still want to do it. I know you'll probably be really tired."

"Too tired for a quality meal with an awesome person?" he grinned at her, "I kind of doubt that."

Her heart fluttered, but she did her best to keep a straight face.

"Awesome," was all she knew to say. "Well, I'm looking forward to when you get back."

"Me too."

"And Roxas," her tone shifted from jovial to dead serious in a matter of seconds. "Please be careful out there."

"I will be."

"I mean it. Don't do anything stupid, and think before you act. I don't want this turning into a suicide mission."

"It won't," he latched the last metallic gadget into place and laid both hands on her shoulders. "I promise it won't."

They shared a sweet exchange, and Kairi couldn't for the life of her figure out why Riku had gotten so quiet in the middle of their conversation.

"Now, before I have to put on this ridiculous helmet," Roxas rolled his eyes, "Can I get a hug?"

"Of course."

He was about to bend down to reach her, but instead she stood up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck.

It was kind of adorable, he decided.

"Save it for when you get back," Leon came and patted him on the shoulder. Was that meant to be offensive or congratulatory? "And put your helmet on. Even's ready to ship you guys out."

"Okay," he and Naminé took a step back from each other.

Riku was already strapped in and standing under the radioactive beams that would be used to transport them into hyperspace. Roxas stepped in next to him, his face glowing and his smile unhindered.

"How are we feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine."

Roxas could see that this clearly wasn't the case. He was about to inquire further, but Even cut him off.

"I sincerely hope the both of you are ready," he looked even more maniacal than usual, a pair of oversized goggles covering up half his face. "Because the time is nigh."

"We are launching in T-minus twenty-nine seconds," Ienzo yelled over the rumbling of the giant machine. "Naminé, do we have the coordinates?"

"They're ready."

"Great. And Aerith, the portal is completely open?"

"Yes."

"Fantastic. Counting down at fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve…"

Roxas could have sworn the room around him was dematerializing into some abstract concept in time and space, along with all the people. Leon and Yuffie had been standing in front of him. That's who it was, right? Either way, now they were just clumps of blurs and lines.

He became somewhat grounded when he felt someone touch his shoulder.

"Be careful," Naminé said.

"Both of you." Kairi was there too.

All the boys could do was nod as much as their pounding heads would allow; if they did much more than that, everything might have gone black.

"Three… two… one."

Roxas sucked in his gut, and as his whole body began to shake, feeling as though it might collapse in on itself, he tried to remember what Ienzo had explained to him about time and space travel.

And he counted to ten.

"One," it'll feel like you're on a launching rocket. "Two,"everything you see will rush at you all at once and you'll see your entire world in panorama. "Three_,_"the sky will turn orange, "Four,"then grey, "Five,"then pitch black. "Six," the stars will snap you back to reality. "Seven," if you blink you'll miss it, but there are different worlds on every side of you to see. "Eight," you're dizzy, "nine," you're catching your breath, "ten," you're stabilized.

By the time they reached the other end of the portal, Roxas felt as though his eyelids were glued together. He was so turned around and dizzy that, had it not been for Riku holding him up by the waist, he could've snapped.

"Roxas," Riku tried to shake him fully awake. But Roxas was weak in the knees and paler than a skeleton. "Roxas, it's okay. We made it. Open your eyes."

Like a bandage from the wound, Roxas peeled his eyelids apart. And as the world's fluorescent light touched his face, he was healed of all his ailments almost instantly.

He couldn't believe his eyes. This place. This anomaly. Was it real? How was it that the water only barely splashed beneath his feet, solid as melted ice, though so clearly fluid? There were glowing orbs of light circumferencing the whole area like a family of fireflies.

"Axel… wasn't kidding," Roxas struggled to even speak, let alone describe what he saw before him.

"No," Riku stared down at his reflection, so clean and vivid, "he wasn't kidding."

"I can't say I woke up this morning expecting to be able to walk on water."

"Me neither."

They both jumped when Even's migraine-inducing voice came blaring through their headsets.

"This is Even. If you're still alive and haven't yet lost signal, say 'protozoan.'"

The boys rolled their eyes at each other, and Roxas punched in the communications device on his armor.

"Why protozoan?"

"Because, dimwits, it's a highly scientific term, something your minuscule brains would flounder trying to understand. And I much prefer it to 'roger that.'"

"Forget it, we're not going to say 'protozoan.'"

"But we did make it here safely," Riku interjected. "It went much better than I expected it to. We're both here in one piece."

"Wow, that's such a relief," a soft voice came over the radio.

"We're alright, Naminé."

It was rather jarring how in unison they were.

Roxas could've sworn Riku glared at him.

"Good to hear," Ienzo's voice sounded so much different over the radio than it did in person. "When you're ready, try looking around a bit. Talk to the locals. Have you seen any of the people Lea and Isa mentioned?"

"I wouldn't call them people," Riku answered. It seemed like the glowing lights were inching closer and closer every second. "I'm not even sure they're alive."

"Well, try communicating with them. And if that doesn't work, keep moving until you find someone who will talk to you."

"Okay. Protozoan out," Roxas mocked, clearly getting impatient with all the chatter.

He was relieved when he no longer heard Even clamoring in the background amid the static.

"Should we keep going?" asked Riku.

"I guess. I doubt any of these light things will be able to help us."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

Heading onward seemed like a pretty good idea to both of them. But they were left with an uneasy feeling when two particularly luminescent balls of light thrust towards them like dandelions in the wind.

Preparing to defend himself against any potential threats, Roxas unsheathed Oathkeeper and Oblivion.

Riku summoned Brave Heart.

"Hey, hey, whoa there," said one of the lights.

They propelled their weapons out in front, ready to strike at any moment.

The last thing they were expecting was to hear one of them speak.

"Who are you?" Roxas demanded to know.

"Well maybe if you put down the weapons, we'd tell you."

"Yeah? And why should I?"

"Because," the other light had a girl's voice, "You two clearly aren't from this world."

"Are you?" asked Riku.

"No… but we've been here. Stuck just like this. For such a very long time now," her voice trailed off. They couldn't see what she really looked like, if she had in fact been human at one point, but they imagined she was in a daze of sorts.

"How long?"

"By now, we've lost track," said the other light. "But it must have been at least a few years by now."

"How did you get here?"

"We don't know," answered the girl. "The last thing either of us can remember is a massive dome of clouds spread out across the sky. And these monsters. We don't know what they were. But to put it simply, our world has been lost to the darkness."

"The real question is," the other light cut in before anyone could say anything, "How are you two here? And looking like that?"

"What, should that not be able to happen or something?"

"In our experience, no," said the girl. "No one we've met here has been able to retain their human form."

"So everyone here was human at one point?"

"Yes. And it's rather fascinating that the two of you have made it here still looking the way you do."

It all made Roxas wonder about what Axel and Lea's experience had been like. Had they turned into lights, too? Or shown up to this watery paradise just as human as ever?

"What brings you here anyway?"

"Our friend," Riku crossed his hand over his heart. Roxas could see that, even now, it still distressed him to talk about it. "We lost him a few years back. But then we heard about this place… About how everyone here has supposedly been lost from their home world. And that they're 'dead.'"

"In a sense."

"And we wanted to see if there was any chance he could've ended up here somehow. If maybe there's a way we could still reach him. And bring him back home with us."

"Well aren't you a good pair of friends to have," the boy teased them. "We'd love to help you if we could. What's this guy's name?"

Riku and Roxas exchanged glances. They were almost hesitant to say.

"Sora."

"Sora?" The boy gasped.

Riku felt his stomach rise and his heart begin to palpitate.

"Do you know him?"

"Yeah, we know him. He used to be a good friend of ours."

"Used to be?"

Roxas and Riku could have broken down. The levity they'd felt had shrunk down into a much smaller hope. All it took was three words.

"Well, yeah," said the boy. "But he's still around. Somewhere. He went to a different world."

"But you know for a fact that he's not gone?"

"Well, it depends on what you mean by gone. We have a very broad definition of the word here."

"Does he still have his heart? His soul? Is he still himself?"

"Yes," the girl sounded so sure and confident in her words. "He is definitely still himself, and he definitely still has his heart… Would you like us to take you to where we think he went?"

"Please," Riku was not one to beg, although he deemed it appropriate in this situation. "If you did, I would never be able to thank you enough."

"Alright," the boy was good-natured and amicable. "We'll help you."

"Thank you," Roxas dropped his keyblades to the liquidy ground. He didn't sense he needed to protect himself. "You have no idea how much it means to us. Oh yeah. I almost forgot," he said as they all travelled together across the surface of the waters, crystal and shimmering, "What are your names?"

"I'm Ephemer," his voice was boyish and bustling with energy. "And this is Skuld."


	5. Chapter 5: Welcome to Shibuya

Death Re:Dacted

Chapter 5: Welcome to Shibuya

As he stamped his way across the nearly pitch black planes with Roxas and his new acquaintances, Riku couldn't help but wonder about the light that had nearly blinded him upon arrival: the blazing, almost offensively bright sun that reflected off the waters and everything in its vicinity. He'd been squinting his eyes for hours, so much so that they were bloodshot and ridden with bags underneath.

Now, had it not been for Ephemer and Skuld illuminating their path like dimly lit lanterns, he wouldn't have been able to see the back of Roxas's head, even though Roxas was walking maybe a foot in front of him. Was this the same world, or a different world entirely? Or maybe some place in between?

"Sorry this has been such a long walk for you guys," said Ephemer, "I guess I kind of forgot just how far away it was."

"No need to apologize. We'll go however far we need to go if it means bringing Sora back."

"Right."

It was bizarre the way he could tell that Ephemer was smiling, even though Ephemer himself was nothing more than a compact orb, barely vibrant enough to keep everything from turning black. But his voice held so much expression.

"Have you guys ever actually been to this place before?" asked Roxas.

"No," Skuld answered, "Only to the door. We've been too afraid to try going inside. We don't know what would happen to our physical forms if we did."

"But you know for sure that it's another world? Like, totally separate from this one with the water everywhere?"

"From what we can tell."

Roxas churned it all over in his mind. He had more questions than he knew what to do with.

"Did Sora ever let on why he decided to leave?"

"Not exactly," said Skuld, "he said it was some kind of personal matter."

"Personal matter?" Roxas furrowed his eyebrows at Riku, and Riku was just as dumbfounded as he was. "What's that supposed to mean? Maybe something to do with Kairi?"

"Not Kairi," Skuld assured, "He told us all about her. He knew she was safe back on the islands, so it's not like he needed to go looking for her. This had to do with a boy."

"A boy…" Riku was confused. It's like he didn't even know Sora anymore. Let alone about this secret life he was apparently living. "Who?"

"He wouldn't say. But whatever it was all about, he seemed pretty urgent. Like he needed to go as soon as possible."

They continued trekking through the soggy marshlands, and all Riku could do was try to piece it all together in his head. Take a step inside Sora's shoes. What could've possibly made him want to travel to this other place instead of trying to get home to him, Kairi, and the others?

Or maybe, that was the whole point.

"Is that the door you guys were talking about?" Roxas asked, ankles sore and hair dishevelled.

A little ways off, there stood a colossal set of double doors, rising high above the water, columns on each side like a temple. As they stepped ever closer to it, the four could make out little runic symbols on each side.

It was all strangely ominous.

"Yeah, that's the one," said Ephemer, "Kinda creepy, right? There's a good reason we've never bothered going inside before."

"Yeah," Riku grazed his fingers along the elvish-like inscriptions, half afraid he was inviting a curse or bad luck into each of their lives. "It's creepy alright. But we're going in regardless."

"Be careful," said Skuld.

"We will be."

"Seriously, though, thank you guys," Roxas turned to the two balls of light. "Major props for helping us find this door. We never would've been able to get here without your help."

"Of course. It's not like we had anything better to do."

And it was in that moment, right before creaking the door ajar, that Riku had an idea.

"You two wanna come with us?"

"What?"

Though they'd spent probably a day and a half hiking the never-ending expanse with Riku and Roxas, it had not occurred to either Ephemer or Skuld that their new friends might invite them to tag along. The door was right in front of them, just waiting to be walked through (or floated through in this case).

But what would that mean for their bodies? They were already barely clinging to a physical form as it was. A faint light, barely a star. If they stepped through the door, would they vaporize? Divide and pull apart?

"I don't know," Skuld made her fears known to all. "It's not that I don't want to leave, but… what if we pass through and that's it? We disappear? We have no way of knowing what'll happen to our bodies."

"If you can even call them that," Ephemer chimed in with bitterness. "No offense, Skuld, but I think they might be right. I mean, what kind of quality of life is this?" He flitted around like a fairy lamp against the night ceiling. "We have no arms or legs. There's nothing to do and nowhere to go."

"Well at least we can still talk."

"About what?" Now he was getting impatient. "About how much we enjoyed floating around like balloons or watching the same mundane clouds go by for the eight millionth time? I'm tired of this. Even if there's a chance we could die, I still think we should go with them."

Though they'd spent an unquantifiable amount of time together as stars, Skuld didn't have the faintest idea just how miserable Ephemer really was. So miserable he would rather die than stay like this, apparently.

She wanted to object, but what was the point? Maybe Ephemer was right. She'd told herself so many times that she was still valuable, and her life was still worth living, even in such a state.

But had she been lying to herself?

"Okay," she sighed. "I guess we can come with you guys."

"You don't have to if you don't want to."

"No," her voice faltered, "Ephemer's right. I don't know who I think I'm kidding pretending that I'm happy like this. I'm not. Better to go with you guys and see what will happen than to do nothing."

"Okay," Riku nodded, "Well if you're really sure, we better get going. We don't wanna keep Sora waiting."

Keyblade stretched out in front of him, Riku gripped one the door handles, and it took all his might to yank it free from its stubborn position against the other door. But when he finally did, the four were rendered speechless by what they saw.

The darkness infiltrating this new place was enough to make The Realm of Darkness feel like some light-filled utopia. And as they stepped through the doorway, it was all-consuming. Palpable. Even though their armor, Riku and Roxas could feel it clawing at their skin and inviting them to join.

Riku thought of Ansem, half expecting him to emerge from the shadows and take over his body again. He had to remind himself over and over again that Ansem was dead and gone.

But then again, so were two of the people talking and breathing right next to him.

"We should've just worn the coats," said Riku as he let the massive door shut behind him. "I'm not so sure this armor is really effective in warding off the darkness."

"I'm not sure even they would do the trick," Roxas admitted.

It was strange the way he was taken to such a dark place the moment he stepped through the doors.

He tried to shake the images from his mind: the ones of Axel's seething anger in the mansion basement when they fought that time, and the way Xion's tears made her look like a baby deer caught in the headlights as she was clinging onto her last few breaths before fading to nothing. Seeing Sora in front of him and knowing that it was over. That was the end. He would have no control over his body. He'd have a million things he needed to say but wouldn't have a mouth to say them with. All he would have was some semblance of consciousness left. Of humanity left.

And he'd be stuck like that forever.

Perhaps the strangest part of all was that, even in the midst of the most tangible darkness any of them had ever felt, there were no enemies for them to face, even though places like this usually ran rampant with them. No heartless, no nobodies, no unversed. Probably not any people either.

Riku tried to keep what little light he felt within him alive. But something in him died. Then and there.

"We've gotta get out of here," Skuld was beginning to panic, "This place… it's not right. There's so much darkness here that it's making me sick."

"Don't give up yet," Ephemer offered to be the sole voice of reason. "Sora made it out of here, right? Then that means there must be a way out. We just haven't found it yet.."

"How do we know that?" Skuld snapped, "For all we know, Sora could still be in here somewhere. Trapped. Or maybe even gone."

"He's not," Riku retorted. Maybe he said it because he had faith in Sora: that Sora was smart enough and strong enough to stay the course without falling to darkness.

But maybe he was just trying to convince himself of that.

"There!" Ephemer said. "I can see a little bit of white up there. That has to be the door to the other side, right?"

"Let's hope so."

With that bone-chilling feeling of being watched, they scrambled to what Ephemer saw as quickly as they could and, sure enough, it was a set of double doors much like the ones they'd stepped through earlier.

"Open it!" Roxas was so paranoid he didn't realize just how overbearing he sounded.

"I'm trying," Riku snapped. But much like the other doors, the ones he grappled with now were practically bolted to their place in the invisible walls. He yanked and pulled, but they wouldn't budge.

"Here, you take the left and I'll take the right." Without a second thought, Roxas took hold of the other handle.

With their combined strength, the boys were able to pry the doors open. Though they nearly broke their backs in the process.

The second they flung back against the wet ground, they were greeted by oppressive shades of violet and yellow. The colors pierced through the dense darkness and could have blinded them easily had they not shielded their faces in time.

They all had so many questions: what was this place? Where would the doorway lead them?

But they asked none of them aloud: only lunged through the door faster than their legs could carry them.

When Riku felt his chest skid against the cement, it nearly knocked the breath right out of him. His face was wet: either from the beating rain, or else the mud-filled potholes that immersed the whole road like a disease. And everything was so bright and colorful he wondered if his small head injury was messing with his vision.

He was snapped out of his daze when Ephemer called out Skuld's name from a few yards away.

Shocking as it was, the two faceless lights they'd been traveling with for hours on end had all but disappeared. In their place stood two very real, very visible people. A boy and a girl. One with silvery hair and the other with deep blue.

"Guys!" Roxas didn't even know where to start. But he was beyond ecstatic for them. "Your bodies are back!"

Ephemer was too entranced to even answer. He ran his fingers down his face then over his abdomen in sheer disbelief that he could even move.

Skuld gathered her hair into bunches and twirled it. Must have been an old habit of her's.

"I'm glad we're back," her voice was so soft it could barely be heard above the rain. "But just where are we exactly?"

So much had happened in those last few minutes that none of the four of them had bothered to look around them: or better yet, look up. On every side and street corner, skyscrapers so tall they could have reached the heavens shot up, a spectrum of lights and colors promenading on the beams and catwalks.

Something here felt different too. Felt realer. Felt darker. It was a feeling all of them had, though they couldn't understand why, let alone try to put the feeling into words.

"Riku! There's"-Ephemer didn't have time to get the words out.

Had Riku been facing the right way, he could have summoned his keyblade in enough time to block the orange laser beam that was flying straight for him like a vulture in the dark.

But instead, it knocked him back about eight feet, and his head cracked down on the stone-cold cement.

Ephemer and Skuld rushed to his aid, and Roxas gritted his teeth when a new face emerged from the shadows, a crossbow in one hand and some type of sword in the other.

"What the hell was that about?" Roxas unsheathed Oathkeeper and Oblivion and held them out in front of him in an x formation.

He was beyond livid.

"Who are you?" the stranger totally glossed over the question.

"What does that matter?" Ephemer stood up from Riku, as Skuld was tending to his needs just fine with potions and curaga spells. "It wouldn't make it anymore okay that you just hurt our friend."

"Hurt…" the new face snickered under his breath. Everything he said was so hushed it almost couldn't be heard, but Roxas registered the snark just fine.

"Yeah, hurt."

"If you're not from this world then, trust me, you know nothing about hurt."

"Enlighten me then," Roxas took three large steps forward, leaving the stranger no choice but to back up, "Unless you'd rather me enlighten you."

Both of them stepped into battle stance, fully ready to kill each other.

And they probably would've had they not been interrupted.

"Yozora! Wait! Stop!"

A voice sounded from further down the street.

And even in the midst of what could've been a concussion, Riku was back on his feet and sprinting towards the action without a forethought.

Was it a dream? Was he hearing things?

Seeing things?

Yozora put his weapons away, and Roxas did the same, mouth agape and heart racing.

"Do you know these people?" asked Yozora, suddenly much less threatening and much more open to civil discourse.

But as the voice's owner stepped into the light, tears already bursting from his cobalt eyes like a waterfall, Yozora knew that he wasn't going to be able to speak.

Let alone answer a complicated question.

Riku and Roxas hadn't even been standing that close together, but Sora found a way to take both of them into his arms, clinging to them like they were his lifeline. The air in his lungs.

And neither hesitated to be just that for him.

"Riku…" his words were muffled against the metal of Riku's armor. "Guys…"

Riku normally teased Sora when he got all emotional about stuff. He tried to think of a quip or anything to break the emotional tension.

But he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Not here. Not like this.

"We thought you were dead," was all he could muster. "But we're so, so glad that you're not."

"You guys…" As usual, when Sora cried, he could barely form coherent sentences. "I've spent all this time wishing that I could just see any of you again. I wanted so badly to come home," he tried to explain through sobs and sniffles, "But I just couldn't leave. Not yet. Even if I found a way out. Because Yozora really needed my help."

Postponing getting to see his home again, his friends again-to help out someone in need. Maybe it should've come as a shock, but it didn't. In fact, the more Riku thought about it, the more he decided it was the most Sora thing that Sora had ever done.

"It's okay," Roxas pulled away, knowing that if Sora didn't get it together now, he probably wouldn't for the rest of the night. "We understand."

"Thank you." And his eyes suddenly became alert, as though he'd just remembered something really important. "Kairi-is she okay?"

"Better than ever," Riku assured. "She's staying with Naminé in Hollow Bastion right now. She's safe."

He thought it best to leave out the detail about her two-and-a-half-year sleep for the time being.

"Oh," Sora let out a huge sigh of relief. "That's good. That's the best news I've ever heard."

He let his eyes trail up to the night sky, and he held a hand over his beating heart.

Riku knew she was all he could think about. Probably wishing she could've been there to share the view with him.

"Ahem," Ephemer cleared his throat when he found the right moment, "Long time no see."

"Ephemer! Skuld!" Sora snapped out of his daze and immediately went in for another hug, this time with a different set of friends.

It wasn't a proper Sora greeting without the customary hug.

"But," he fumbled his words, "How do you guys know Riku and Roxas?"

"We just met yesterday actually," Skuld giggled. "They came all this way just to find you."

Sora was about to inquire about how that was possible, as he'd found no way to make it back home during his time living as a star.

But he was cut off.

"Everybody stay back," it was the first thing Yozora had said since the beginning of this intimate little exchange.

"Why? What is it?" asked Sora.

"See for yourself."

Clawing its way over skyscrapers, wings outstretched and rows and rows of jagged teeth in plain sight, this monster-this thing was headed straight towards them at probably a hundred miles a minute.

It wasn't like any heartless Riku or Roxas had ever seen. It was black and scaly, big enough to tear down half of the city with the stroke of its tail, and it had no eyes.

Riku immediately remembered Axel's descriptions of the monsters he and Isa had seen.

"No worries," Ephemer assured. Much to the surprise of Riku and Roxas, they'd both summoned Starlight keyblades and were already on the defensive.

Riku was about to make an offhand comment about omitting the fact that they were fellow keyblade wielders, but Sora beckoned to everyone.

"No," he shook his head, "Guys, these aren't your average everyday heartless. They're not heartless at all. They're"-

"Hell wyverns," Yozora finished. "And they'll kill you."

"And if you die here," Sora turned to Riku and Roxas specifically, "You don't turn into a heartless or nobody. You just die."

You just die.

A chill ran down Roxas's spine. By some freak accident, he'd been born into the world as an empty shell of a person with no feelings. And no heart until Axel and Xion helped him grow one.

But during the course of his short existence, he'd come to accept nobodies as a fact of nature. A fact of life. When someone died, they were split into two halves. A heartless and a nobody.

And that's what happened, and that's how it worked. And those were the rules of the universe.

And here was Sora telling him differently.

"Well what should we do?" Skuld's voice trembled.

Suddenly, causing all of them to jump, a sleek black vehicle came speeding around the corner, its drivers' window rolled down.

It slammed the breaks right in front of them, and Yozora was the only one who looked as though he was expecting it to happen.

"Sir," the driver nodded his head with a strange amount of patience given the direness of the situation, "Allow me to take you back to the manor."

So many surprises had come that day that Roxas wasn't even fazed by this one.

"Luxord?"

"Ah, yes, pleased to make your acquaintance again, Roxas," he smiled, "But I'm afraid now is no time for reunions."

"Everybody get in," Yozora commanded as he slipped into the passenger seat.

There were only front and back seats-no middle row.

But there was no time to worry about that so they all just piled in the back, Ephemer and Skuld pressed against the car window like starfish in a tank. Sora got in the floor.

"Buckle up," said Luxord as he expertly moved the vehicle's various switches and gears. "It's bound to be one bumpy ride."

And he hit the gas.

It only took them mere seconds to accelerate from a stop to what felt like 120 mph. Even in the floor, Sora had to cling to the back of Yozora's seat like a newborn child to its mother just to remain steady.

And the rest of them felt like any sudden stop would send them flying through the windshield.

"Your sister and Stardust are safe," Luxord yelled over the revving of the car's ever-accelerating engine, "For now. There was another attack in the market today. But your uncle got them out in time."

"Good," Yozora sighed, actually displaying an ounce of human emotion.

Roxas was shocked he was even capable of such.

"Uh, guys," Ephemer had managed to twist around enough to look out the back window, even though his and Skuld's heads were practically stuck together. "It's getting closer."

"Damn," Yozora said under his breath. It's like this was all something he had to deal with on the regular. "Then we'll have to work while we ride. You," he looked back at all five of them, squished and contorted as they were. "Which of you has the best long-distance aim?"

"Well, I learned that new finisher," Riku said to Roxas, as Roxas was the only one who knew what he was talking about. "The one that uses all my spells at once."

"Right," Roxas nodded, "And I know the one with the slingshot."

"Perfect," said Luxord, "I'll open the sunroof."

One flick of the wrist, and the majority of the car's roof had slid back, allowing just enough room for the two to squeeze through.

"Ow, careful!" Sora cried out as they crawled to their new station, both carelessly stepping on him.

"Oh, sorry, Sora."

"And you two," Yozora now addressed Ephemer and Skuld.

They finally had enough room to breathe.

"Roll down your windows. I'm gonna need you to deflect any fire or dark matter that thing tries to shoot at us."

"Okay. We'll try our best."

Ephemer stayed where he was while Skuld slid to the other side of the car.

Roxas and Riku were now firmly positioned atop the car.

"On my signal," Yozora had stuck his head out the passenger window, watching for the wyvern's every alien-like move and attack. "Now!"

With all the grace and precision he could manage, Riku dealt his first keyblade transformation: Brave Heart was almost unrecognizable as it evolved from a clunky, oversized key into what resembled a mage's staff, glistening and radiating all sorts of magical powers.

As Roxas was the only one who could dual wield, he was still learning how to manage two transformations at once. But with the slingshot transformation, Oblivion acted as a catalyst while Oathkeeper turned into what he would ultimately shoot at the wyvern.

"Let's teach this bastard a lesson," Riku muttered as he took his aim.

"Already five steps ahead of you."

Roxas took his first shot at the dragon-like creature, launching Oathkeeper into a blitz of blue and green flames, flying at light speed.

It pierced straight through the wyvern's forehead, prompting it to let out the most ear-piercing shriek Roxas had ever heard. Had he not been holding up Oblivion, he would've covered his ears.

"I don't think he liked that very much," Riku said as he took his first shot. The wythern was getting faster now, almost able to stretch out and claw the car. "Hey guys? Can we get a little help up here?"

"On it," answered Skuld. She was clearly a very precise keyblade user, taking the little bit of time she had to perfectly align her Starlight with the beast's field of dominance.

When the beast opened its mouth so wide it could have swallowed up half the street, a chaotic black essence came billowing from its mouth like sinners trying to crawl their way out of hell.

Ephemer and Skuld tried their best to deflect all the attacks, but even their best couldn't fix everything: both car windows shattered with the sharp ting of glass, and Skuld screamed when she felt some of it sink into her skin.

"Skuld! Are you alright?" Ephemer begged to know.

"Yeah," she nodded. But it burned.

She did her best to ignore the blood that was gushing down her arms and legs.

Luxord kept going faster, and Sora and Yozora had joined in on both defending and attacking, wielding their own weapons to their highest potential and trying their best to keep the car from taking further damage.

Riku and Roxas had started doing team attacks, pairing Riku's magic with Roxas's more technologically based slingshot, making for some truly effective offensive moves.

At one point, they even thought that they might be able to kill the wythern.

"I think we've almost got him," Roxas announced, a hopeful glint in his eyes. "He seems really tired."

He spoke too soon.

They all froze for a second when they heard a voice coming from the sidewalk.

"Hey! Hey, wait!" It was a fairly young guy, maybe in his thirties. He was sweaty, beaten to a pulp, and sprinting so fast it's a wonder he didn't lose his balance. "Please, wait! Help me! I've gotta get back to my daughter!"

"Luxord, stop!" Skuld screamed at the driver. "He needs our help!"

"We can't stop, I'm afraid," there was a tightness in his voice. Like something really terrible was about to happen. "Unless you want us all to die."

"Well at least slow down," Sora snapped. He stuck his head back out the window and called out to the guy. "Hey! Over here! Reach out your hand!"

Leaning as far out as he could without falling out of the car, Sora extended his keyblade out, hoping the guy would be able to grab onto it. Then, he'd pull him into the car with the rest of them.

"Thank you!" The man was hyperventilating. It was like he'd spent all day trying to escape this thing, by he could never quite get away. He ran as fast as he could, trying his best to keep up with the car.

But he wasn't quite there.

"I can't reach it!"

"Riku! Roxas!" Sora called his friends. "Give me a hand, will you?"

But they were neck deep in a never-ending exchange of magic, dark matter, and transformations. If they were to get distracted-even for a moment-then the whole car would be obliterated.

"Luxord please!" Skuld cried again. "He's not gonna make it!"

Luxord gave no answer.

And then it happened.

Knowing in his heart that he wouldn't be able to grab hold of the keyblade, the man stopped running entirely. Dead in his tracks, a lifeless look in his eyes.

"No!" Skuld screamed at the top of her lungs. "No-wait, keep running! There's still time!"

But they all knew there was no time.

And from that day onward, the image was forever burned in each of their minds. The image of a man who had accepted his fate. There was no running forward. There was no more life to be lived.

With its rows of fangs that were more like daggers than teeth, the wyvern bit his torso clean off the rest of his body.

Blood rushed out into the streets like rainwater into a gutter. And all that was left was a pair of legs, still human enough and still writhing a bit.

Roxas felt the world around him stop. Behind him, Skuld was screaming and crying like a mother who'd just lost her child. There were gagging noises. Were they coming from Riku or Sora? It didn't matter to him anymore.

Because as he stared at what was left of the man they'd been struggling to help, all he could focus on was three words.

You just die.

In this world, there are no heartless and no nobodies.

You just die.


	6. Chapter 6: A Great, Dormant Power

Death Re:Dacted

Chapter 6: A Great, Dormant Power

Imprisonment was to be expected. Mistreatment was almost guaranteed. She was going to be cursed at and yelled at even when she got the job done as seamlessly as a sculptor finishes a new work of art-even when she gave everything of herself to make sure she got it right. And the ironic part was, being treated like this never felt especially wrong to her.

Nobodies were never meant to exist, anyway, right? In her first few weeks of life, Naminé had come to understand that her birth into the universe meant a great deal of unhappiness for others. While she walked and breathed, Sora lost his right to consciousness. Kairi lost the person she cared about most. Riku lost his best friend. And they all collectively lost memories that even the handiwork of a witch couldn't fully restore.

That's why she never really got why Roxas fought so hard for his right to exist. Almost like nobodies mattered. Like his life meant something, and he was valuable. She valued him, of course; otherwise she never would've risked her own safety just to chase after him in the data simulation. But she could see that he clearly valued himself, and the most she could do was sit back and imagine what that might have been like.

To value herself.

When the time came for her to return to Kairi, it seemed only a fitting conclusion to her life. A blessing, almost. The universe must have really favored her if it allowed her to retain some semblance of herself in another's body. It could've just as easily squashed her existence under its cosmic sole like a cockroach against the floor.

But it didn't. And that was an act of mercy if ever she'd seen one.

Roxas had a harder time, she knew. Of course he did. He had loved ones and people who cared about him. There was Axel, Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and somewhere deep in his heart, even though he'd forgotten her, there was Xion. He knew the sweetness of a warm hug and the feeling of laughing so hard his chest hurt: the feeling of love she'd heard so much about.

It made sense why the merge was harder for him, but she couldn't exactly relate. He was the closest thing she'd ever had to a real friend, and even that little relationship had been nothing more than a series of brief conversations. There was no time for small talk, or laughter, or truly getting to know one another. They were rushed. And the only thing that mattered at the time was figuring out what to do about their external circumstances.

Needless to say, she couldn't for the life of her understand why Kairi and Sora wanted her back badly enough to risk their own safety just to ensure she could have her own body and voice. To be able to see and walk again. Apparently, they were not content to let her live on in the void even though she would've been perfectly fine to do so.

And then when she heard about the Riku Replica-about how he gave his life so that she could have a body of her own-she broke down crying and couldn't stop no matter how hard she tried.

"I don't understand," she said to the real Riku. She was sniffling so hard she could barely be understood. "Why would he do that for me? He didn't have to."

"No, he didn't have to," Riku shook his head, "But he did it anyway."

"But why?"

It broke Riku's heart to see that she genuinely just couldn't understand. Couldn't fathom it. Even though any one of them would have gladly given their life for Naminé at a moments' notice-because that's just how incredible she really was-Naminé herself couldn't see why anyone would make even the smallest sacrifice for her.

But he knew he couldn't just explain her worth to her in a matter of minutes.

"Because he loved you and cared about you. He thought it would be an honorable thing to do to make sure that you were safe and got to live a normal life just like the rest of us."

"But I'm a nobody," she buried her face in her hands. This was all so wrong to her. Almost like it violated the laws of nature. "I'm not supposed to live a normal life like the rest of you. I'm not supposed to live at all. Just the fact that I was able to live through Kairi was more than I deserved. And now, thanks to me, someone else had to suffer."

"But that was his choice," Riku laid both hands on her shoulders. He gently shook her back and forth. "Naminé, listen to me. You can't keep doing this: hating yourself, feeling guilty all the time. You may not think you deserve to be here, but clearly, the replica did. So you might as well learn to love yourself and enjoy your life like the rest of us. Otherwise, he sacrificed himself for nothing."

"Okay," she pulled away in a fit of tears, "I guess I'll try. But I just-I don't even know where to start."

"Well," Riku looked back towards the castle, "I've got a few ideas. Here, come with me."

He helped her to her feet, and she dusted off the hem of her dress. Even the simplest of gestures like this-things that seemed so second nature to most people-still took her some getting used to.

It was just a few days after she'd first awakened in the lab, so she'd already seen Even, Ienzo, and the others earlier that week. It was a bit staggering to wake up to many of the same people who had once held her captive and even abused her (although "abused" was an awfully strong word for it, she thought. What they'd done never really warranted such drastic terminology). But apparently, they were good now and had even used their time and resources to bring her back to life.

When she and Riku walked back into the lab for the second time that day, Even watched her with a notepad in hand, sizing her up and calculating her like she was more of an experiment than a living, breathing person.

She was inclined to feel the same way about herself.

"Naminé," he greeted, having already jotted down some notes, "Have any serious complications arisen since last we saw you? Any nausea? Headaches?"

"Um, nothing too bad I don't think," she glanced up at Riku as though she needed some kind of affirmation to keep talking, "I've just felt a little dizzy every now and then."

"Explain. Dizziness as in aura blocking your vision and numbness in your arms and knees?"

"Um, kind of. Just feeling light-headed and like I need to lie down."

"That's to be expected," said Ienzo, "After all, you haven't had a real body in such a long time. It'll take both your mind and body some getting used to before they can work in tandem."

"That makes sense," Naminé contemplated it. Her face was still red from crying, but she didn't want everyone to know. "Anyways, I feel well enough to get to work I think. Is there anything I can do?"

"We have a number of things-only if you're truly ready, of course. You could work with us in the lab, or Leon and Cid could find you something to do, or there's always new positions opening up in Twilight Town. It's totally up to you."

It felt so strange being given a choice, especially about something so important like a job. She felt inclined to be subservient to them but, as Riku had explained earlier, that's not what it was about anymore. They were her comrades. Her equals.

They weren't her masters.

"I think I'd like to work with you in the lab," she clanked her nails together like she had to give it some serious thought, "I think it would be a good fit for me."

"I think so too!" Ienzo nodded, "Especially with your gift for analyzing and rearranging memories. We don't know what kinds of experiments we'll be working with in the future, but I'm sure we could put your talents to good use."

"Okay, great," her eyes lit up, and she was suddenly feeling quite a bit better.

It hadn't occurred to her that working with Even and Ienzo wouldn't just mean staying locked in a lab from sunrise to sunset. Actually, more often than not, it would mean traveling to other worlds, if only to observe them and collect samples.

She'd visited other worlds before, of course. There was Castle Oblivion, The World that Never Was, The Destiny Islands, and Twilight Town.

But some of these places just blew her away. The nightfall at Beast's Castle, when the whole courtyard was shrouded in mystique, almost like something ominous was lurking behind those castle doors. Wonderland's wonky and ever-changing rules of gravity. The Caribbean's vast open seas and The Kingdom of Corona's forests, bursting with a whole rainbow's worth of colors and plant life.

"I get it," she said to Riku one day when they stopped for a picnic. She'd started letting him tag along with her when she went to Corona for soil samples.

"And what's 'it?'" he smiled at her, but she was too entranced in the trees and the giant waterfall to her left to even notice.

"Life," she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "I never understood what it was all about. But I've been thinking about something Kairi said. About being able to see the world around me and feel the wind on my face."

She cupped two hands around her cheeks, squeezing and caressing them. It was like she had a newfound appreciation for herself.

"But I can feel it on my face now. I can feel it blowing my hair back and touching my shoulders. And the sun is so warm on my back, and I love swimming, and I love picking flowers, and I love everything."

"You love it?"

"Yes." It's like she couldn't even emote all the overwhelming emotions she felt. All she could do was hope that Riku would be able to understand.

"Have you ever loved anything before?"

It was a question that shook her to her core as much as it broke her heart. Had she ever really loved anything before? If all she'd known her whole life was loneliness and guilt?

"I don't think so," she finally said, her throat tight. "But I do now."

It was the happiest Riku had ever seen her. Her cheeks were so flush, and her lips had a new upturn to them. He'd become so accustomed to her quiet nature and somber eyes that she almost looked like a totally new person to him.

And he was loving this new person a little more everyday.

Over the next couple years, Naminé almost forgot the hopelessness she once felt on a daily basis-a feeling she didn't even recognize as hopelessness at the time. Being locked away in a tower and held captive by a pair of adults who should've known better, being ordered around and treated like dirt by Ansem the Wise, and finally losing whatever was left of herself to Kairi. Not quite depression, she decided when she reflected on it all. After all, at the time, she wasn't even aware she was capable of having feelings. But it was a dull, ever-present aura of sadness. Subtle enough that it didn't drive her mad, but noticeable enough that it weighed her down significantly.

Now, she sat on the couch in her room, sketching a picture she'd had in mind for quite some time now. She used to only draw pictures of memories and past experiences, but lately, the possibilities were so endless she found herself conjuring up images of hypotheticals and things she saw happening in the near future.

It wasn't good to be too optimistic or jump to conclusions, but she felt it in her heart that Sora would return soon. And so, while Kairi slept, she drew a picture of the four of them up on the clock tower together: her, Roxas, Kairi, and Sora.

Even though it'd only been a week, Kairi was beginning to feel more like a sister than a roommate. They cooked together, met up with Olette every couple days to go shopping, and stayed up almost every night talking about everything from what it was like to wake up from their respective comas, to their favorite worlds, to how irritating Even could be.

"Kairi," Naminé finally whispered once the sun was bright enough to light up the whole room.

But Kairi had her head buried under a pillow like an ostrich in the sand.

"Kairi," she whispered a little louder this time.

Still no response.

She decided to sit down on the bed and try to shake the girl awake.

"Kairi," she yanked the pillow from Kairi's clutch of iron. And Kairi didn't look like herself with dozens of staticky red hairs stuck to her face.

"Mm, what?"

"We've gotta get up, remember?" She pulled Kairi by the wrist until she was sitting up in the bed, even if just barely. "We're going to the new world system with Lea and Isa today."

"Oh, right!" Kairi hopped to her feet, suddenly bustling with much more energy than she had only seconds ago. "I almost totally forgot. Also, can I use your brush? I haven't been able to find mine."

"Yeah sure." Naminé had already been dressed for about an hour and was now staring at herself in the mirror, making her side braids even more intricate than usual since she knew she had extra time.

"Thanks." Kairi reached for the blue brush sitting on a chair in the corner of the room and got curious when she saw Naminé's little drawing.

"What's this?"

"Oh, wait don't look at that"-

But it was too late. Kairi's eyes had already wandered all over the page's vibrant colors and expert uses of shading and line work.

"I'm sorry," said Naminé as she gently pried the picture loose from Kairi's hands, "I know I shouldn't be drawing things like this. But I've had such a good feeling about it that I couldn't help myself."

Maybe if it was drawn by anyone else, Kairi would've gotten angry. But she knew that Naminé was no ordinary being, and her pictures weren't ordinary either. She had a special connection to Sora and all those hearts connected to his, and that meant she didn't just have these optimistic feelings for no reason.

"No, it's okay," Kairi grazed her fingers across the powdery surface of the drawing. She didn't want to let on that the picture had given her an extra boost of hope, because that would make Naminé feel extra awful if it didn't end up happening. "Even if Sora doesn't come back for some reason, I know he would appreciate the gesture. It'd be so nice if this was able to really happen."

"It would be, wouldn't it?"

"Yep. But before the four of us meet up there together, you guys have to have a little one-on-one time first," Kairi teased.

"Yeah," Naminé sighed out of either excitement, dread, or a little of both, "I know."

Naminé, being the private and bashful person she was, really tried to stay discreet about the whole thing at first, but Kairi squeezed the truth out of her. She had to come clean about her little infatuation, and taking the lead in asking him out, and everything that led her to that point.

"How are you feeling about Saturday?" asked Kairi, now priming her lips with a sparkly, sheen gloss.

Naminé had developed quite the taste for makeup as an older teenager, and after seeing how nice it looked on both her and Xion, Kairi found herself drawn to it as well. The two struggled to share the little mirror mounted on Naminé's dresser.

"Good, I guess."

"'Good?'" Kairi mimicked Naminé's inflection of the word. "You don't sound too confident."

"I know, I just"-she stopped applying mascara long enough to get a good look at herself, "I feel like I'm intruding. I mean, he's gotta still have feelings for Xion, right?"

"Well, maybe, yeah. I'm sure he does. But I can promise you, you're not intruding on anything. She doesn't have any desire to see him anymore. Trust me, we tried to go talk to her."

"What?" Naminé nearly dropped the qtip in her hand. She had no idea.

And Kairi suddenly felt like she'd said something she wasn't supposed to say.

"Oh… I guess he never said anything about it to you?"

"No. He didn't." She held her head down low, and it's like all the spunk and confidence faded from her eyes. "When was that?"

"A few days ago."

"So definitely after he told me he wanted to hang out," Naminé stood up from her stool and crossed her arms, feeling equally angry and confused. "Why didn't he tell me?"

"I… I don't know," Kairi was just as dumbfounded as Naminé was. "Maybe he wanted to get some kind of closure with Xion before he started up something new."

"Or maybe he just wanted to get back whatever he had with Xion," Naminé snapped, "If he didn't want to go out with me, then he could've just said so. Great, now I feel like I have some awfully big shoes to fill. How am I ever supposed to fill the huge, gaping void that Xion left in his life?"

"You don't have to," Kairi shook her head, "Naminé, if this is what's meant to happen, then he will like you just the way you are. You don't have to try to be Xion, you don't have to try to be anyone other than you. You are beautiful, smart, and ridiculously talented. I mean look at this," she grabbed the drawing off of the bed and practically shoved it in Naminé's face.

Naminé cracked up, prodding it away.

"I'm serious!" Kairi studied the image once more, practically gawking at the level of detail and precision that went into it. "That boy would be stupid not to at least catch feelings. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

"Okay, I'll try not to worry,"

A knock came at the door.

"Who is it?" asked Kairi.

"It's Aerith. We're all downstairs ready and waiting. So just whenever you girls are ready."

"Okay," Naminé slathered bronzer all over her cheeks, trying to hurry it up as much as she could. "We'll be down in just a second!"

The girls finished up on their little morning routines, doing some last minute touch ups and enhancements. Then they slipped on their shoes and bolted through the hallway and down the stairs.

In the great room, the whole gang had already gotten geared up and were extra chattery, probably from all the excitement. Yuffie practically jumped up and down over whatever she was talking to Aerith about, and Axel and Isa were trying their best to explain some big intellectual concept to Leon.

Demyx and Larxene were a last minute addition to the team, and Kairi kind of couldn't believe they were coming. She figured Demyx would probably want to tag along, but Larxene?

"You girls feeling ready this morning?" Axel waved as they came sliding down the stairs.

"So ready!" Kairi's face lit up and she greeted Axel with a fist bump. "I've been dying to get out of this castle, and I can't think of a better way to do it."

"Just remember what Riku said," Ienzo reminded, "We're letting you go with them because this particular world doesn't seem to pose too much danger. But under no circumstances can we allow anything bad to happen to you."

"Take a pill, Ienzo," Axel all but rolled his eyes, "She's in good hands, got it memorized? Me and Isa practically have this entire world system figured out."

"I can tell by the way you two came racing home like a couple of babies crying for their moms," Larxene barged into their little conversation, uninvited. "Sounds like you really have it figured out to me."

Axel was about to clap back, but Demyx didn't leave him the time.

"Ah, brighten up, Larxene," Demyx rested an arm on her shoulder and used his other one to twirl the lollipop in his mouth. "It's gonna be sick-just think of it. Getting paid to skip work and go mess around in some cool new place?"

"If you don't take your arm off me in the next five seconds, you won't have it anymore," she shoved him so hard he nearly toppled over.

The rest of the Hollow Bastion gang finally decided to join them.

"Alright, guys," Yuffie addressed Kairi and Naminé, "All that's left is for Even to get you in that armor, and we'll be set to go."

"Right."

It was unlike anything either of them had ever worn before, even given Naminé's sometimes avant-garde clothing choices. The metal squeezed their petite frames and nearly left them out of breath.

Luckily, neither of them felt too terribly nervous about the journey itself, as they'd both been present for Roxas and Riku's big send off.

And they were right not to let their anxieties get the better of them. The room spun for a few moments, and the girls definitely felt dizzy. But they were surrounded by so many strong people who always seemed to know what they were doing. How scared could they really be?

Naminé squeezed her eyes shut, counting down the seconds till they were supposed to land. It eased her mind when she felt Kairi pinch her left hand and Yuffie pinch her right.

She wasn't alone.

"Alright," said Leon when everyone had settled and the dust finally lifted. "We made it."

Axel had attempted to describe the place to everyone the night before, but no words could truly do it justice. The sky was a bluish violet color, stuck halfway between morning and night. All along the square and down every cobblestone alley were townhouses with purple roofs and flower displays beneath every window.

It was such a cute place that it should've made them squeal and start ranting about what a nice vacation spot it would make.

But it didn't.

Where there should have been townspeople out enjoying brunch or hurrying to work, there was nothing and no one. Just desolate streets for miles on end and a silence so palpable it was almost deafening.

"Where… is everybody?" Naminé wrapped both arms around herself, half-afraid some otherworldly monster was about to come out of the shadows and mar her to death.

"We can't be certain," Isa surveyed the premises, holding his claymore out in front of him like a machete. "But we suspect that this world is thousands of years older than the ones in our home world system-meaning its people could have died out long ago."

"Ugh, serves them right," Larxene stuck out her tongue in disgust. "Anyone with such gimmicky taste doesn't deserve to stay in the gene pool. I mean, is anyone else seeing this discount Disney Town aesthetic? It might be the tackiest thing I've ever seen."

"I think it's pretty cool!" said Yuffie. "It'd be a lot cooler if there were people here to enjoy it, though."

"Yeah," Axel stretched out his arms, clearly ready to get a move on. "Anyways, this way. We have some things we want to show you guys."

"Ooh, quality restaurants?" asked Demyx. "Bars? Ice cream stands?"

"Demyx," Aerith had neve looked more concerned, "If there are no people here then who do you expect to be keeping those places in business?"

"Oh, right."

"No, none of that nonsense," Isa buried his face in his palm, "We found some underground tunnel systems. And a castle-like structure in the center of the world, much like the one in Hollow Bastion."

"Whoa, for real?"

"Yes."

It was a rather long walk to these so-called "tunnels." So much so that Larxene began to complain about her feet cramping up.

"Then you shouldn't have worn those ridiculous heels," Axel eventually said.

This time, she was too tired and agitated to make a comeback.

The inlets and backroads outside the main city only felt more bone-chilling as the time passed. The scenic cottages like the ones in the square devolved into slum houses. Old clotheslines, blackened and taut, draped from roofs down to the ground. Buckets were knocked over and windows were smashed in almost as though there really were people still living here, just not the kinds of people they especially wished to encounter.

"There," Isa pointed.

And everyone stopped in their tracks.

It was a tunnel if ever they saw one. More like a never-ending hole of darkness and despair. On its borders were amateurishly graven stones and, even standing right at the very entrance, no one could make out what was further inside.

"How are we supposed to see?" Demyx scratched his head.

"I've got my ways," Axel snapped and his whole right hand was instantly lit up in flames, easily ten times brighter than a lantern. "Always come prepared kiddos." He nudged Kairi and Demyx further into the tunnel.

They clearly wished that they could turn back.

"Ugh, this smell," Larxene whined when they were hardly a quarter mile in. "Did something die in here?"

"Quiet possibly," Isa gave her a serious reply. "We don't know what these tunnel systems were used for. There's always a chance we're walking through a crypt of sorts."

"A crypt?" Demyx practically yelled it. "Nope nope nope nope nope nope. Sorry chief, but that's gonna be a no from me," he started to turn around. "I'm outta here."

"Not so fast," Leon caught him by the hood, rendering him unable to move. "You heard what Even said. Strength in numbers."

"We can't split up," Aerith reiterated, "Otherwise we'll be overpowered if something dangerous really does show up."

"Ugh, fine I'll stay. But I better be getting paid overtime for this."

There were a number of paths and corridors interweaving with each other like briars in a thorn bush. But one in particular seemed to lead upwards rather than outwards, and this caught Larxene's eye.

"What's that up there?"

They all stopped to look.

"I'm not sure," said Isa, "We've mapped out a fair bit of these tunnels, but we haven't been everywhere yet. Right now, we're taking you to the path that leads up to the castle."

Everyone else started walking again, but Larxene couldn't seem to peel her eyes from the winding set of stairs.

Why did it strike her as odd? Why did it seem so familiar to her?

After all, she'd never been to this world before.

"Watch your step," Axel said when they approached a much larger staircase. "This way to the castle."

"Good, I'm about out of breath," Yuffie had her hands on her knees, panting.

It was just a little ways up to the top. There was a basement (or shall we say dungeon) area at the foot of the castle. It was filled with old, rusted armor that looked very similar to the armor everyone was wearing. There was no telling how old any of it was.

When they reached the main level, Naminé couldn't help but notice the resemblance the castle bore to Hollow Bastion. Structurally speaking, the same gears and metal rods that gave her new home so much identity composed this castle as well. Only this castle seemed much more ancient.

Every room they peeked their heads in held some sort of relic that looked like it ought not to be touched. A sword, a statue, a little graven god.

"Hey, check this thing out!" Demyx raced into one of the rooms at the edge of the interior balcony.

Kairi was lagging several feet behind him, but when she saw what he was talking about, her heart sank into the pit of her stomach.

Everyone else was too fed up with Demyx's antics to notice.

"Demyx, you actual idiot," Larxene went and ripped the mask right off his head, "Are you insane? You can't just touch anything that catches your eye in a place like this. Everything's so old that it's gotta be enchanted or cursed or something. Or worse."

"Maybe some of the stuff in here, but this old thing?" he took it back from her, "I kind of doubt it. Looks like a kid's toy or maybe some creep's sex prop at worst."

"Kairi, are you okay?" Naminé was the first to notice her friend's shortness of breath and pallid face.

She looked like she might pass out.

The fox mask glared at her with those ancient, all-knowing eyes just like it so often had in her dreams. Traveling through the night like a phantom in hiding, walking on water, watching her as she slept. Wherever she went, the fox woman always seemed to follow her somehow. Why? She never could say for sure.

"Yeah… I just…" she didn't even know where to begin.

"Here, let me put this thing on," Yuffie chimed in, trying to break the tension. "Nothing bad happened to Demyx when he did, so I doubt anything bad will happen to me."

Aerith was about to stop her, but Yuffie's head was already lodged up in the mask like a woodpecker stuck to tree bark. Admittedly, she did look pretty ridiculous in it, and everyone couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh no, we better look out!" Demyx announced, "The fox girl's gonna come rummage our dumpsters and chase away our local mice!"

"Fear me," Yuffie kneeled, her shuriken out in front of her like she was about to attack, "Or face the wrath of the great mystical fox."

Naminé was the only one still paying attention to Kairi. The girl still had that look of fear in her eyes, and she was frozen like a pillar of salt.

Then it happened.

All their laughter ceased when the floor beneath them began to quake, either from the ground up or from some mighty external force. And from above, the lights rattled, the books flew from their shelves, and everyone screamed when a chandelier came crashing down, suddenly turning everything pitch black.

"What did I tell you, imbecile?!" Larxene kicked Demyx in the shin.

"Ow! Why just me?" He pointed at Yuffie. "She did it too! I am not solely responsible for waking the wrath of the fox god."

"That's no fox god," Axel's voice trembled, and he lit up the room once more, this time with his Flame Liberator. "We've gotta get outside."

"What? Why?" Demyx squawked. "Just what are we talking about here?"

"No time to explain," Isa was already out in the hall with his claymore in hand, "Just run."

Practically tripping over one another, everyone fled down the long and winding flights of stairs like their lives depended on it. Now they knew it wasn't an earthquake they were dealing with; whatever this thing was, it screeched and roared, nearly causing the whole building to collapse every time it did.

"What is that?" Aerith asked when they got close to the main doors. "Those big black things you saw?"

"If we should be so lucky," Isa said under his breath, "It could be much worse."

And it was.

When they exited the castle and reached the town square, a giant griffin-like creature with wings frosted like ice and probably a dozen eyes hovered over them with its mouth wide open.

Naminé stopped breathing for a second.

"Good god!" Demyx summoned his sitar, mainly because he wanted to hide behind it. "That doesn't look like any heartless I've ever seen!"

"That's because it isn't one," Isa retorted, "Everyone, weapons out. If we work together, we might have a chance at survival."

"Right," Leon nodded. At a moment's notice, he unsheathed his revolving gunblade. Aerith and Yuffie squared up on either side of him.

"Finally, some action," Larxene grinned, and her knives were out.

"Naminé, stay behind me," Axel stepped in front of the girl, his arm stretched out behind him, shielding her from danger. "It's not safe to be out here without a weapon."

"Wait, hold on a second!" Naminé interrupted him. "Where is Kairi?"

Axel suddenly looked very concerned, and his eyes darted off in all different directions, desperately scouring the streets for any sign of the girl.

But there was no trace of her.

"Back inside the castle, somewhere safe I hope," Axel sighed, "Or else it's not gonna be good."

"No time for talk," Leon said as he dashed headfirst towards the demonic-looking bird, "Save it for the trip home."

Jumping up first and allowing Yuffie and Aerith to heave him upwards with the sheer strength of their arms, he dove headfirst through the air and launched a bullet straight towards one of the monster's eyes.

But it wasn't going to be that simple.

With a shriek loud and vile enough to burst all of their eardrums, the beast writhed to its side, seamlessly dodging the attack. It was so agile and flew so swiftly that it was going to be nearly impossible to catch.

Moving erratically, the griffin kicked, flipped, and twisted in the air before heading straight towards them.

"Demyx! Larxene!" Axel shouted at the top of his lungs.

But it was too late.

Even with their best set of defense moves and all the speed they had in them to dodge, they wouldn't have been able to escape the artillery of razor-sharp ice shards that came flying from the griffin's mouth.

Demyx tried to shield her, but probably a dozen shards tore into his back, pillaging his coat and spilling forth little rivers of blood down from his neck to the cobblestone ground.

Larxene got hit six or seven times. They were both on the ground now, crying out in pain.

Isa was rushing to their aid while Leon and the others held off the griffin. But he knew, at this rate, it was hopeless. The beast was too quick. Too vengeful.

If they didn't get out of there soon, they were all going to die.

He prepared for the worst when the griffin shot back around, diving in for another round of ice shards.

This time it was headed straight for Axel.

"Lea!"

Even in the midst of one of the most dangerous battles they'd ever encountered, no one could believe how genuinely terrified Isa sounded. He sprinted towards Axel, arms wide open like he was wholeheartedly ready to take on the full impact of whatever the griffin was about to hit them with.

She knew she was in danger, but all Naminé could focus on was the way Axel immediately took his best friend into his arms and the two held each other. Clung to each other even. Like it was all over. Like the world was going to end.

They were squeezing each other, their foreheads pressed together. And Naminé could see that Axel whispered something in Isa's ear.

Then just before worst came to worst, the unimaginable happened.

Something or someone was overpowering the griffin.

All at once, the creature let out the most harrowing scream any of them had ever heard. Even in their pain, Demyx and Larxene had to find it in them to raise up their arms and muffle out the sound.

It shrieked and shrieked, and then went dead silent. It was covered from head to tail in a mystical pink aura, like it was being effortlessly tossed around and contorted. Its dozens of eyes were peeled open and it gazed dead ahead, like the life was being choked out of it. Like it was savoring the last few moments of breath it had left.

Then it crashed to the ground, cracking the cobblestone streets in the process.

It was dead.

None of them even had time to process what had just happened, and Axel and Isa had since pulled away from each other, though their hands stayed interlocked.

They thought that nothing could have shocked them more than seeing an intergalactic creature plummet to its death for seemingly no reason at all. But nothing could have prepared them for what came next.

A radiant pink light, so bright it must have belonged to a god or else come from another universe illuminated the top of the castle. It nearly blinded them, and they all had to shield their eyes for several seconds before they could look up to see what it was.

It was a woman: with gorgeous red hair, tied up in a ponytail and ribbon, in a long white jumpsuit. She wielded a keyblade none of them had ever seen before, but it was clearly powerful enough to obliterate even the most daunting of creatures at a moment's notice. She held it out in front of her like a sceptre, and she stood with such sovereignty and authority that she herself could've been mistaken for a god.

The fox mask wasn't so funny anymore when Kairi was the one wearing it.


	7. Chapter 7: The Rules of The Universe

Death Re:Dacted

Chapter 7: The Rules of The Universe

Save for Skuld with her girlish whimpering, no one dared make a sound for the rest of the car ride. The rain had fizzled from heavy columns into light thuds against the concrete. And the wyvern, having just eaten, decided it wanted to leave the passengers alone, at least for now.

Luxord had steadied up on the gas pedal, just lightly pumping the vehicle along instead of skirting down the highway like a convict on the run. He and Yozora stared dead ahead, their vision cutting straight through the raindrops as they trickled down the window. They were affected, but not in the same way as the others: affected like they felt sorry that their new friends had no doubt been traumatized, but not because the whole ordeal was anything out of the ordinary for them.

Oddly enough, Sora seemed to be holding it together better than most of them. Skuld kept crying, Ephemer wouldn't stop fidgeting with his seatbelt, and Riku and Roxas had all but disassociated. But Sora just laid there, and the hopeful glint in his eyes remained intact.

"Here we are," said Luxord as he pulled up to an iron gate, a crest with a giant "M" overlooking the driveway. He'd swerved off the highway a few miles back, and they'd been driving through a greener, more pastoral slice of countryside than Riku or Roxas thought the bleak world was capable of producing.

After an intricate pattern of beeps to the dial pad, the gate opened and Luxord was able to cruise right through.

And had she not just watched someone die, this was the part where Skuld would usually comment on the building's architecture and aesthetic, both of which were futuristic without being over-the-top. It looked like the whole place could've been made of marble, except for maybe the windows.

And sharp, spirally looking beams garnished the back end of the roof. Roxas thought they looked like a patch of briars rising up over the manor like ivy.

They stepped out of the car. Luxord had parked in the little semi-circle outside the front doors.

"Keep your voices down. Oh, and take off your shoes at the door," Yozora demanded of them, "My sister can't stand it when the floors get scuffed up."

For someone who'd just witnessed a fellow human get mutilated, Yozora sure seemed like a pompous jerk with not an ounce of empathy in him, Roxas thought. All this talk about manners and how they should conduct themselves.

As if any of it really mattered in light of what they'd just seen.

There was (of course) another complex security lock on the front doors, and Luxord had to punch in a long and elaborate code before they could get in.

But when they did finally get in, they didn't go unnoticed.

"You're back!"

Sora and Roxas shuffled to the side when a little girl came practically torpedoing into Yozora. She was tiny-maybe two feet tall. And she wrapped both arms around his right leg.

He scruffed up her hair and kneeled down to match her height. And out of nowhere, it was like he became a completely different person. Wider eyes, a brighter smile.

No more snark.

"Hey there," his voice was soft and cautious now, "Have you been holding down the fort okay without me here?"

The little girl nodded, suddenly coy. She may have been excited to see Yozora, but her timid nature came through.

She kept glancing up at Riku and Roxas, giggling slightly and hiding her face in Yozora's shirt.

"Come on now, don't be shy," Yozora pushed her backwards a bit and prompted her to look up at the boys. "Riku, Roxas, I'd like you to meet my niece, Stardust."

"Oh, hi there," Riku laughed. He'd never been the best around children and didn't exactly know how to communicate with them.

Roxas had only ever spoken to a handful of children in his entire lifetime, but he wanted to make the best effort he could to greet the small girl.

"Hey there," he kneeled down to her level and held out his hand. "I'm Roxas. It's nice to meet you."

"I'm… I'm Stardust."

Had he not been carefully reading her lips, Roxas wouldn't have been able to decipher what she'd just said. But he smiled when she reached out to meet his hand.

"Stardust," he contemplated, "I've never heard that name before. But I like it."

"It's not her real name," a woman who might have been in her late twenties stepped out into the foyer. "Just a nickname Yozora gave her. Her real name is Celeste."

"But that's such a nice name for someone who causes so much trouble," Yozora pulled the girl away from Roxas and the two playfully fist fought for a few moments.

"I'm not trouble," Stardust insisted over a whisper.

"I'm not so sure about that."

"This way to the den everyone," Luxord interrupted the little tussle, "It's a bit of a long walk."

"Please, don't be strangers and I'd thank you forever if you took off your shoes," said the woman. "Oh, I'm Innette by the way-Yozora's big sister. Pleasure to meet you." She had a voice that was as amiable as it was deep. "And I'm guessing you two are Roxas and Riku? Sora's told us all about you."

"Oh, so you know Sora already?" Riku rammed his elbow playfully into his best friend's stomach.

"Oh, boy do we know Sora," Innette laughed, "We know how much he likes to eat, and sleep in, and make us all drop whatever we're doing to help him get the Internet to work."

"I do not!" Sora's voice got several pitches higher, and everyone laughed.

"Anyways, it's nice to finally meet you. And you two," she pointed, "I'm not sure I know who you are."

"Name's Ephemer. And this is Skuld."

"Oh okay, I see. And are you friends with Sora as well?"

"They sure are!" Sora slowed to their pace and wrapped his arms around both of them. "Not from back home though. They were with me in the land of the sky and sea."

"Right, the one you told us about. I remember."

"Yeah. But it's been a minute since I've seen them. Well, heard them I guess," Sora corrected himself, "But I'm glad to finally be able to see you guys."

"Yeah, awfully good looking, aren't we?" Ephemer flexed his arm muscles and Skuld just rolled her eyes.

"Not too bad at all."

"Here we are," Luxord finally said.

When he heard the word "den," Riku pictured a warm and homey room, pretty small and maybe decked out with blankets and footstools. But whatever this was, it wasn't that. From the ceiling, a massive chandelier the color of obsidian hung, chains and locks draping over its various patterns. There was a couch big enough to hold all of them, and the room was massive enough to be a house in and of itself.

"Please make yourselves at home," said Inette, "I'm making some shrimp scampi for dinner. I trust you like seafood just like Sora, Mr. Island Dweller?"

She was talking to Riku.

"I do," he nodded, "But really, only serve us what you have to give. We don't want to steal dinner from you guys."

"Don't even worry about it. We'll have more than enough. In the meantime, you all get some rest. There's a balcony out back and an arcade on the third floor."

"Indeed," said Luxord, "Perhaps we can enjoy

a quick game together later?"

"Oh, you're on!" Sora pumped his fist into the air.

Riku could tell it was something the two did together pretty often.

So that evening, everyone unwinded and got some well deserved relaxation. Skuld, having not been able to use her arms for who knows how long, felt obligated to help Innette with the cooking. Roxas wanted to talk to Sora as much as anyone did, but he and Ephemer thought it would be best to leave Sora and Riku alone for a while.

As Innette had promised, Riku found that there was indeed a giant arcade room on the third floor, painted a deep purple and filled to the brim with pool tables, game cabinets, and television screens the size of leaderboards.

There was so much to talk about… so much to catch up on that Riku didn't even know where to start. So they decided to unwind with a couple quick matches of air hockey and then plopped down on the couches, both with an armful of snacks from a nearby mini fridge.

"So you've really just been living here with Yozora for these past couple years?"

"Yeah," Sora grinned, "I know he may seem kind of off putting, but he's actually super nice once you get to know him."

"I'd have to see it to believe it."

"Hey, I'm being serious!"

"I know-I'm just kidding."

They laughed and Riku took a heaping sip of soda.

"But you really couldn't get back?"

"No," Sora's voice faded to a somber whisper. "I tried… so many times. But it just couldn't be done. And besides, Yozora really needed my help. Things have been absolutely crazy around here. Hundreds of people are getting killed by those wyvern things every single day. And the world itself is getting smaller."

"Getting smaller?"

"Yeah."

"How do you mean?"

"It's hard to explain," Sora shook his head. "Huge land masses have just gotten cut off from the rest of the land, and whole towns and cities have disappeared at a time. We don't know what it's all about or who's causing it. But we think that if it doesn't stop soon, the whole world may be lost to darkness."

"Oh…" Riku's eyes latched onto a small ray of light beaming through the window. It suddenly made sense why Sora had not returned home after all this time. When someone was in need, there was no doubt that Sora would be sticking around to help. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Help people. Try to save people… just like the guy on the highway back there. Of course, we can't save all of them. It's a 50/50 bet most of the time, and that's something I've just had to learn to accept. I remember the first time we failed. There was this woman who had gone out to the woods to try to get away from them because they were all in the city. But one caught up to her. Me and Yozora both did all we could do to try to kill it, but we couldn't stop it before it got to her. I was devastated. But that's just the reality of things around here, and we can't let our fears and failures stop us from helping the people we can still save."

That's just the reality of things around here; the words stuck with Riku the way glue holds an old card together. Strangely, in a way he didn't even know how to explain, this place was less like a different world and more like a different universe. With a different feel and different rules.

"But we don't have to talk about that right now," Sora sat up on his couch, "It's some pretty heavy stuff and we're supposed to be resting right now."

"I guess we are."

"How is Kairi?" Sora immediately changed the subject. His eyes were glittering with anticipation as though he'd spent the whole conversation just waiting for the right moment to ask. "I know you said she's safe, but how is she doing, really? Is she healthy? Is she happy?"

"Well," Riku wanted to wait until they got home to tell Sora if he could manage it, but that just didn't seem viable anymore. Or right for that matter. "We're mostly just as in the dark as you are. Until a little over a week ago… please don't freak out. She was in a coma."

"A coma?!" Sora's heart rate skyrocketed. "What? Why? How?"

"She did it to herself," Riku tried to explain, but he knew it must have come out wrong when Sora had an equally disgusted and horrified look on his face. "I mean-she thought her memories might have held a clue about where you were. And so she had Ansem the Wise and Even put her into an artificial coma so they could research her brain and maybe figure out where you'd gone off to somehow."

"And you just let her do that?" Sora rose from the couch, angrier than Riku had seen him since they were kids, "You didn't even try to stop her?"

"I thought it was a bad idea," Riku admitted, "And I tried to talk her out of it. But she insisted. And if she thought she could have been doing more to help you and simply chose not to, she would have been miserable. It was only a matter of time before she did something like that."

It killed Sora to know that Kairi had sacrificed almost three years of her life just to find him. Those were days she should've spent discovering herself, developing meaningful relationships, and coming into her own. Instead, she'd likely wasted away in a cold lab chair, oblivious to her surroundings and alone.

But Riku was right. No way was Kairi going to sit around idly when there was a chance she could find him. She was going to do everything in her power-even if it meant giving up her own life-to bring him back.

"You're right," Sora sank back down onto the couch, feeling defeated somehow. "There was nothing you could've done to stop her."

"No…" Riku rested his chin in the palm of his hand. "Probably not."

The boys sat in silence for a considerable amount of time. No doubt Sora needed a minute to ponder it all: his friends' arrival, Kairi's coma, and what he was going to do about the immediate future. Would he return home with Riku and the others? Would Yozora need his help badly enough for him to feel compelled to stay?

And Riku: he'd spent the last several days just dreaming about what it might be like to talk to Sora again. There were so many things he'd wanted to say, so many questions he'd wanted to ask… but here in the moment it was hard to talk about any of it.

Without warning, Innette strolled in, not even bothering to knock.

"I hate to interrupt," she chuckled, "but dinner's ready whenever you two feel like eating."

"Okay," Sora grinned up at her, "We'll be down in just a second."

"Just a second" ended up being more like forty-five minutes. Feeling exhausted out of their minds and just wanting to be able to talk already, neither of the boys had bothered cleaning up earlier. But they couldn't come to dinner in blood-stained shirts and tethered boots.

So they showered, shaved, and tried their best to look at least half decent. Sora had his own closet full of clothes, and he would've let Riku borrow some stuff had Riku been anywhere near his same size. Luckily, Yozora's clothes fit Riku perfectly so he borrowed a v-neck and some jeans.

By the time the two came down to the dining room, Ephemer had already cleared his plate and Skuld was in the kitchen scrubbing the countertops.

The rest of them had apparently been waiting patiently to dig in.

"Oh, sorry guys," Sora scratched his head, "You didn't have to wait on us."

"It's no big deal," Roxas teased, "we know you guys need your alone time."

Riku smacked Roxas lightly on the side of his face, and he and Sora took a seat on either side of him.

"Wow," said Riku as soon as he took his first bite, "Innette, your cooking is amazing."

"Thanks, but I can't take all the credit," she pointed to Skuld, who was far too bashful to gloat about her own culinary talents. "Skuld here gave me a lesson or two tonight about seasoning."

"Oh, that?" Skuld laughed, "It was nothing, really. You just have to make sure that it tastes so good with your own herbs that it doesn't need any salt."

"I'd say it's definitely an improvement," Yozora was across the table, sipping on a piping mug of black coffee. He was such a stoic. And so unreadable even when he said the most mundane things.

"So," Riku tried his best to reel the conversation back in, "If you don't mind talking about it, I'd like to better understand just what we're dealing with here. How long have people from this world stopped turning into heartless and nobodies once they die?"

"They never stopped," Yozora shook his head, "Because these 'heartless' and 'nobodies' never existed in our world to begin with."

"What do you mean they never existed?"

"Exactly what I said," Yozora crossed his arms, "As far as we've been concerned, when someone dies, they die. And that's it. That's the end. We'd never even heard of any of this nobody stuff until Sora tried to explain it to us. And not gonna lie, we thought he was crazy at first."

"It just sounded so absurd to us," Innette laughed through a mouthful of pasta, "That people can never really die. That they can turn into a heartless and a nobody, then back to a person, then back to a heartless and nobody again and the whole shabang over and over again forever. But Sora was so adamant about it that we had to believe him. Though we can't say it was without difficulty."

Roxas had been uncharacteristically quiet this whole time. No jokes or snide remarks. He just slouched in his chair and fiddled with his checkered bracelet wishing the conversation would just end already.

"Well here, now you have proof," Riku shot Roxas a glance. "Roxas is a nobody. Sora's nobody to be exact."

"What?" The food nearly spilled out of Innette's mouth. "Well why didn't you say so earlier? Is that true? You're really a nobody?"

"Oh. Well, yeah," Roxas shrugged, "But it's not a big deal or anything."

"Of course it's a big deal! We've never seen or met anything like you before! You might as well be an alien or some unknown species or something."

She didn't mean to be insulting, but the words didn't exactly go over well. Since being recompleted, Roxas had tried his best to become a normal, integrated part of society. The last thing he wanted was to feel marginalized because of his nobody status.

"I'm really not," he tried to calm down so he wouldn't come across as rude. "Being a nobody really isn't any different from being a regular person, especially now that I've been recompleted. I have a life, I have friends, I have a heart. I've got feelings and ambitions just like anyone else."

"Right, but you didn't have a heart to begin with, right?" asked Yozora. "At least, if I'm remembering what Sora said correctly."

"No. I didn't have one starting out. But the people in my life helped me grow one. Then I started feeling love, sadness, and anger. I was just as much a real person then as I am one now."

"Wow, can you imagine, Stardust?" Innette had since picked up her tiny daughter and was rocking her back and forth in her lap. "Not having a heart?"

But sensing that her mother had hurt Roxas's feelings somehow, Stardust didn't answer. Only stared at Roxas with wide violet eyes.

"Thanks for dinner," Roxas folded the napkin from his lap back onto the table and stood up. He'd calmed down at least a little bit. "I'm gonna get some air."

Leaving no one time to answer, he headed down a hallway towards the exterior of the house, where one of the many balconies overlooked the backyard.

And things got dead silent at the table. Luxord had kept his mouth shut the whole time, apparently not wanting to intrude on such an important conversation. Innette was feeling awful now, realizing she'd probably put her foot in her mouth.

Skuld was horrified at the sheer uncomfortableness of the situation, and Riku and Sora debated following after Roxas.

"Well that got awkward fast," Ephemer addressed the elephant in the room.

"Yeah," Sora sighed, "I'm gonna go talk to him."

No one objected.

Even in a world as bleak as this one, the night sky was gorgeous, a whole map of stars scattered as far as the eye could see. And in the distance, the green and purple city lights caused everything in a six-mile radius to glow.

Roxas was half bent over the balcony rail, almost as though he wouldn't have minded toppling to his death. From behind him, Sora couldn't tell if he was upset or just taking in the view.

"Hey," Sora said as he slung his arms down over the mortar columns of the railing.

"Hey."

"Sorry about what Innette said back there. It was kind of out of left field, but I know she wasn't trying to hurt your feelings."

"I know she wasn't," Roxas smiled up at him, "I'm not mad at her or anything."

"Oh," Sora didn't know quite what to make of it. He'd come out here to console Roxas and try to coax him into joining the others back inside. But now that he knew Roxas wasn't upset, he wasn't quite sure what to say. "That's good."

"Yeah."

It was the dead of night by now, and only the soft hums of crickets and a number of unidentifiable insects could be heard above the silence. They sounded into the woods and up and down the mountaintops. Fireflies sparked every now and then like distant satellites.

Sora was about to make small talk about how breathtaking it all was, but Roxas decided to open up to him now of all times.

"Is it really all that different?"

Sora glanced over at his nobody, so similar to himself in face and physique but so utterly different in the brain.

"Is what all that different?"

"Being a 'real person," Roxas put air quotes around it, clearly bitter. "And not just a nobody."

"What?" Sora scolded him, "Of course not. I mean you said it yourself back there. You're a real person-just as much as I'm a real person."

"Of course I said it. I wasn't about to let them walk all over me without knowing anything about me. But that doesn't mean I never feel like I'm missing something that the rest of you have."

He bit the inside of his cheek, stuck somewhere between frustrated and confused. It was this nagging feeling that he hadn't been able to talk to anyone about for years. Axel and Isa had been gone, Xion wouldn't speak to him, and he and Naminé hadn't been quite close enough to let each other in like that.

He never expected to tell Sora of all people about it-a somebody who probably didn't have the slightest clue what he was talking about.

"I don't know, maybe it's stupid," Roxas sighed, "But I never know what I want. What I should do or who I want to be with."

"You mean like… what you want in life? Or who you want to love?"

"Exactly," Roxas nodded, his eyes full of a desperation Sora had never seen before. "And so much more than that too. What kinds of things I'm good for, how I can be a better person, and just what I should spend my life doing. I'm so clueless about all that stuff. And to be honest, I envy you. You always seem to know what you want."

"What, me?" Sora was taken aback. "You think I have it all together?"

"Yeah, I do," Roxas snapped, "You never think twice. You just dive headfirst into everything you do and never look back. You're not unsure of who you are. Nothing holds you back from loving Kairi. And you didn't second guess yourself about staying here and helping Yozora. You just did it."

Sora was about to argue back, but could he really deny any of it? He'd never thought of himself as a particularly confident or secure person, but maybe he was after all.

Maybe Roxas was right.

"Well… I don't think that not knowing what you want is a nobody exclusive thing," Sora assured him. "Plenty of people don't know what they want. Some people even spend their entire lives just trying to figure it out."

"Yeah but I don't want to be that person," Roxas shook his head. "I'm ready to know what I want right now. But it's all so much. There are so many choices to make and so many possibilities. It makes it hard to move in any one direction."

"That's normal though. Everyone gets confused sometimes about what they should do. Even me. What's important is that you follow your heart."

"Follow my heart?" Roxas placed a hand over his chest as though he was cradling something really precious to him. It still felt surreal at times just knowing that he really did have a heart-the one thing he'd spent so much of his life longing for.

"Yeah," Sora grinned, "It'll never lead you wrong. I don't know exactly what it is you're dealing with right now or what kind of big decisions you're making… but I do know that if you follow your heart, you don't need to worry about the rest. You may get it wrong sometimes. You may even do things you regret. But your heart will always lead you back to the place where you need to be. And the people you need to be with."

Sora's words were genuine and reassuring, but Roxas was far more wrapped up in the questions he'd been repressing deep in his subconscious. Where did he want to go once all this was over? And who did he want to take with him?

He was about to thank Sora for cheering him up, but he was interrupted. Something rustled in a nearby tree, knocking down a fruit or two and startling both boys to death.

It was definitely too big to be an animal.

"Not to impede on this little heart-to-heart you two are having," said an eclectic voice from somewhere deep in the branches, "But I'd have to wholeheartedly agree. Following your heart is definitely key to accomplishing your goals."

"Excuse me?" asked Sora.

Roxas already had both keyblades down by his side, clearly freaked out by whoever this was. "What the hell do you think you're doing on someone's private property this late at night? Whoever you are, come out. Now."

"Whoa, whoa, no need for the infantry," the person was still only barely visible from where he was standing, but Sora and Roxas could see that he was flailing his arms dramatically back and forth. "Can't we at least try to be civil about this?"

The boys didn't know who they were expecting to climb out from the tree-maybe someone drunk off their rocker or else a homeless guy who'd snuck over the gate to the manor.

But both of them felt their hearts catch against their ribs when the person who stepped up onto the balcony was wearing something all too familiar-something that didn't belong to this world.

"Wh-where did you get that black coat?" Roxas could barely get the words out. "Why do you have it?"

"Did you come here from our world?" asked Sora.

Under the hood of the coat, the stranger's face was obscured. But both boys could feel him staring. Like he was full of secrets that they couldn't even begin to understand.

"That'd be some coincidence, don't you think?" the man was now fully visible under the harrowing moonlight, "If the three of us came from the same place and just so happened to stumble upon this little world all at the same time."

"Well if you're not from our world, where did you come from?" By now, Sora had unsheathed his keyblade as well. "One of the other worlds back home?"

"Try again," the stranger feigned a yawn.

"The land of the sky and sea?" asked Roxas.

"Yikes, not even close," he reeled his head back and clasped both hands around his outer hood as though their mediocre answers were torturing him.

"Well as far as we know, there are only two world systems," Sora lashed out, losing his patience, "So you must have either come from ours or the one you're in right now."

And at such a comment, it was like the stranger's unwavering charisma melted away into something far more sinister.

Both boys took three petrified steps backwards when he started inching towards them.

"Oh please," he practically yelled, crossing his arms like a true theatric, "You boys are using some small brain thinking. You really think that these two tiny, totally replaceable world systems-which you've just so happened to visit- are the only ones out there? You really think yours is the only universe out there?"

Sora felt a chill surge down his spine, and he suddenly felt like that scared little boy on the island again, watching as both his friends and his home were swallowed up by a darkness he couldn't yet understand.

And sensing that something was amiss, Yozora came out onto the balcony just in time for the stranger to have Sora and Roxas backed against the marble walls.

He had his crossbow aimed straight at the stranger's head.

"Leave," Yozora muttered almost inaudibly, "Unless you're alright with me sending your brain flying off this balcony."

He yanked back on the string, but even though the stranger should have been cowering in fear, he did nothing to suggest he was even remotely bothered by Yozora's threats. In fact, he welcomed them.

"Now this is the type of ballsy move that I can appreciate," he clapped his hands together, "I don't believe I got your name. What was it again?"

"I'm not messing around. I'll do it."

"Oh, I know you would," the stranger placed both hands on his hips, "And I'd applaud you for it. But it'd be a real shame if you never got to know how to stop those big scary wyverns from destroying this world and eating all your friends."

The comedic, matter-of-fact way he said it made Yozora feel sick to his stomach. He had his giant sword lodged up in his crossbow, and he wanted more than anything to crack open this sicko's skull with it.

And he would have had the sheer desperation of wanting answers not rendered him stiller than a statue.

"You're bluffing," Yozora snickered, "You don't know how to stop the wyverns anymore than the rest of us do."

"Well first of all, you say that like my number one priority is keeping this place wyvern-free," the stranger cackled, "Which it's not. I was just trying to help a guy out. Come on, what does it take to get some good deed points around here?"

"Enough," Yozora reiterated, "I've had it with your games."

"Alright, alright," his words were over-pronounced and drawn out, and no one could tell if he really did feel guilty or if he was just playing it up for the drama. "I'll stop having fun and we can turn this into the boring little affair that you boys apparently want it to be. But really, you should relax. I'm on your side."

"I'm so sure," Yozora snapped.

"Oh come on, have a little faith in me!" the stranger insisted, "I really do want to restore this world to what it was before in all its metropolitan glory: no wyverns and a lot less deaths. But you're not leaving me anything to work with here."

"And why should I believe you're some powerful being and not just a decrepit old man starved for attention?"

"Ouch, old?" The man rubbed the back of his neck, clearly offended. "You think I sound old? Haven't heard that one. Anyways, my friend here can vouch for me. Luxu!" His booming voice echoed into the night, "You can come out now. Oh, you guys are gonna love this," he said to Sora and Roxas, who had been backed against the wall this whole time. "Hope you don't mind saying hey to an old friend."

Roxas was about to ask what exactly that was supposed to mean, but when a second figure emerged from the shadows, he didn't need to. The blood-red scar still intact and his signature patch covering his right eye, Xigbar of all people walked onto the scene.

"Well isn't this something," his eyes darted back and forth between Sora and Roxas, "Seeing the two of you together like this. It's funny, isn't it, Roxas? That we slaved away in that organization for days on end looking for hearts when we really had them all along?"

"Maybe, but I don't regret it," Roxas snapped, "It's because of the organization that I found Axel and Xion."

"Ah, right," Xigbar crossed his arms almost as though he had to struggle to remember. "The hot-headed one and Vexen's failed experiment. How is ol' Poppet anyway?"

"Don't talk about her like that," Roxas broke free from his defenseless position and held his own against Xigbar and the stranger. "She's not a failed experiment or a puppet. And she's twice the person you'll ever be."

"That's some high praise for a girl you barely know," Xigbar shot him down, "I hear you two haven't even talked in what, like three years or something? And I'm supposed to believe she's your friend? I think your definition of friend is very different from mine."

It took everything in Roxas not to try to kill his old comrade in that moment. But he knew he wouldn't be able to do it alone, and he sensed this new stranger was far more powerful than Sora or Yozora could anticipate.

"Geez, Luxu," the stranger's posture worsened like an airbag deflating, "I thought I told you not to pick a fight with these guys. Yozora here is our friend, remember?"

"Yeah?" asked Sora, "Well real friends don't keep secrets and say terrible things. If you were really our friends, then you'd drop the act and just tell us why you're here already."

The air got so silent that only heavy breathing and racing hearts could be heard. And Sora suddenly wished he could take back what he'd just said.

"Well wait just a minute now," the stranger said under his breath, turning from Yozora to face the two boys. He had both hands crossed behind his back, and that eccentric joking nature had all but vanished. "Don't go putting words in my mouth. I said Yozora was our friend. He's got guts, he commands respect, he knows how to hold a weapon," he listed them off slowly, counting up on his fingers. "And there's another big thing that separates him from you two. And do you wanna know what that is?"

The boys kept up their little facade of prowess. But on the inside, their bones were rattling and they could feel their knees giving way.

When they didn't answer his question, the stranger continued on.

"Unlike the two of you," he pointed to the boys, then back to Yozora, "This man has never once cheated death. He's come close to dying many times, but he has managed to hold onto his life using sheer wit and resourcefulness. But you two," his voice was evolving from a light whisper to a shout, "Are little cheats. You've always managed to escape death, even when it should've come for you. Living recklessly and irresponsibly. Dying then coming back to life again, getting new bodies, turning back time, and screwing around with the course of fate…"

He was walking ever closer to them, backing them up against the wall. Yozora kept his crossbow taut, ready to fire at the strange man at any second.

But he had a sneaking suspicion that nothing would happen if he did.

"Well you can't keep cheating death forever," he was yelling maniacally now, and both boys were so afraid they could've dropped their weapons and surrendered then and there, "None of you can. Weak. Pathetic. You don't deserve the gift of life."

"Don't talk to him like that!" Sora fired back. "Nobodies do deserve life! Just like the rest of us!"

"That's a sweet sentiment, but I'm not just talking about him," one flick of the finger sent Sora's head cracking against the marble, "I mean all of you."

Sora cried out, holding his head in pain. He could feel his pulse pounding against his temple, and the back of his head was suddenly wet with blood.

The stranger sighed, regaining some semblance of the friendly countenance he'd first met them with.

"Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Alright, gentlemen, here's what's going to happen," he turned to face Yozora, whose fear was written all over his face. "I'm going to do you, your family, and your whole world system a huge favor."

"A huge favor?" Yozora retorted. "By breaking and entering and assaulting my guests?"

"Okay, maybe I did get a little ahead of myself," he shrugged and held both arms out in front of him, defensively. "But I meant what I said about being on your side. I want to restore your world and stop all of these unjust deaths. But before I can do that, I have to right all the wrongs that these death cheaters have imposed on the universe."

He cracked his neck to the right, almost robotically.

Sora and Roxas could practically feel their lives flashing before their eyes.

"I really hate to say it, boys-and please, don't hold it against me. But unfortunately, I'm gonna have to kill you," the stranger laughed, patting both boys on the shoulder as though they were old friends of his. "But first, I'm gonna have to kill everyone you love. Riku, Kairi, Xion, Axel…" his voice slowed with each name he listed. "And all the other death cheaters too."

Both boys felt their hearts wither at the sound of their loved ones' names.

He really did know everything.

"You won't lay a hand on them," Roxas said through gritted teeth. But he was lying to himself. "We'll stop you."

"We'll see about that," the stranger nodded, "I'm always up for a good challenge. Anyways," he finally backed off, "Luxu and I will be on our way now. Thanks for the nice visit, Yozora. And tell your sister and Stardust about me when you get the chance. Oh, and Sora," he already had one foot over the balcony when he turned to face the boy. "Kairi has hair long enough to reach her lower back now. It's beautiful," he said nonchalantly. "I highly recommend going to see her while you still have the chance."

And at those words, it was like Sora lost any semblance of composure he may have still had. Thoughts of the stranger reaching Kairi before he could flooded his mind-what would he do to her? Would he kill her slowly, forcing her mind and body to endure every wound and gash? Or would it be quick like the drop of a needle or the gust of wind?

It didn't matter to Sora, because before he had time to think, he was dashing towards the stranger at full speed, his keyblade extended and ready to kill.

And without even having to touch him, the stranger sent him flying ten feet back, and his bones made a symphonic cracking sound as he hit the marble.

Yozora shot his crossbow, but the man tossed the sword right back to him like the flick of the wrist.

"Goodbye now," he waved, Luxu having already exited the scene. Everything he said he had to yell above Sora's debilitating screams. "See you next time."

And he was gone.

Having no time to react, Roxas and Yozora immediately rushed to Sora's aid. His head had bled out on the marble flooring, and his right arm looked like it might have been broken.

"Sora, stay with us," urged Roxas, half worried that his counterpart may fade into unconsciousness.

Sora said nothing, only gazed up hopelessly at the stars.

"I'm going to get help," said Yozora.

He leapt to his feet and ran inside as quickly as he could.

Roxas propped Sora's head up on his lap, hoping to steady the blood flow. He took both Sora's hands into his own and tried to console him.

"It's okay," he said aloud. "We're going to stop them. Before they can hurt any of the people we love."

But as he tried to convince Sora of that, all kinds of horrifying thoughts filled his mind-thoughts of Xion, Axel, Riku, Naminé… lying face-up in a pool of their own blood, much like Sora was doing now. The light would've faded from their eyes, rendering them grey and uncanny-looking. Their mouths would be half open, holding onto their last breath the way a scared child clings to its mother. And they would be gone. Forever.

And he was suddenly filled with the same nihilism that had overtaken Sora.


	8. Chapter 8: Head Over Heels

Death Re:Dacted

Chapter 8: Head-over-heels

It must have been 3 AM when relentless kicking and the slamming of a door stirred Roxas awake. He'd dozed off with his face planted against an old quilt at the foot of the bed. It was supposed to have been his turn to keep tabs on Sora while Riku slept, but clearly, he hadn't done a very good job following through. Not only had he failed to keep his eyes peeled, but Sora was nowhere to be found.

He panicked for a second, assuming the worst-had Xigbar and that hooded guy come back in the night and taken Sora captive? Or even killed him? But he quickly realized these were delusions driven by sleep deprivation. Sora was probably just out on the nearest balcony reflecting or trying to ease the pounding in his head.

He wasn't wrong. Trying his best not to wake the others, Roxas slipped out to find Sora hunched over the railing, his back perfectly contorted like he had some kind of bone deformity. He was still in the bathrobe Innette had given him to sleep in-his regular clothes were so tattered and soaked in blood that they couldn't be worn. And he wanted something loose and flowy to wear so he could breathe and stretch with ease.

Roxas winced when he saw the gashes on the side of Sora's head. Innette had attempted to barricade the blood, but even through the bandages, the stores stuck out like little ants gushing forth from a dirt mound. And Sora's arms and legs weren't faring much better-plastered with bruises and cuts at every angle.

"How's your head?" Roxas slung his feet over the railing to sit down. He could've chastised Sora for being out here instead of resting, but what was the use? He couldn't blame him for not being able to sleep at a time like this.

"It could be worse I guess. Just a really bad headache. But I don't even care-it's not the headache that's bothering me. It's knowing that Kairi is an entire world system away from me, and if we don't leave soon, they might get to her before we can."

"I know. Don't get me wrong, I'm worried too."

"About Axel and Xion?"

"Well, yeah them," Roxas hadn't yet told Sora about the situation with Xion. "But Kairi too. And all the others. We're all friends."

"Yeah, I meant to ask you about that," Sora managed to put on a half-smile. "It seems like you and Riku are getting along pretty well."

"Oh for sure. Riku's like one of my best buds now. He really had to open up and get out of his comfort zone after he lost you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Sora wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He knew Roxas meant it as a good thing-that Riku had blossomed in a sense and had become more social. But it was kind of strange imagining what the last several years must have been like while he was gone. All the moments, drama, and occasions he had missed.

When he did get back home, would things feel the same?

"That's good," said Sora. "I'm proud of him. And I'm glad that you guys get along. It seemed dicey there for a while. Back when you guys were fighting."

"Yeah." It wasn't a time Roxas liked to remember-when he lost Xion and Axel and suddenly his entire life was in the hands of Ansem the Wise.

But he tried not to make a big deal about it.

The boys sat in silence for a bit longer. And even as Sora gazed out into the darkness, Roxas could almost feel the gravity of the whole situation weighing on Sora's mind like an anchor plummeting deep into the sea. His whole aura was off-no more chipper personality or optimistic thinking.

It was painful to see.

"I know it's early," Roxas scoped the whole sky around him, still dark blue with the subtlest hint of purple lying at the edge of the horizon. "But I think we should leave."

"Oh can we please?" Sora practically begged. "I've been waiting all night for you or Riku to say

that. I know I'm not in the best shape, but I won't be for several more weeks so there's no point in waiting around. I'm ready to go whenever you guys are."

"Me too. You're right-there's no point in waiting around. You get dressed and I'll go get Riku."

"Alright."

And for a brief moment, the pang in Sora's chest changed into hope and a need to race home as quickly as he possibly could.

He needed a little bit of assistance from Innette to re-bandage and get into his clothes. Even though he'd never wanted to more, Innette had told him it was against his best interest to shower. His wounds were still fresh and in the healing process.

And when the time came to finally send them off, Innette couldn't help but worry herself into a frenzy. Not only were her new guests leaving before she had anytime to reasonably get to know them, but Yozora had decided to accompany them.

Because although the hooded man was undoubtedly sinister in intentions, everyone agreed upon one thing; he wasn't a liar. And that meant that even though he wanted nothing more than to cut down every last person he deemed a cheater of death, he wouldn't lay a hand on someone he considered innocent.

So Yozora's family would be safe, at least for now. Luxord would be there to protect them from the wyverns if need be, but other than that, they were to stay quarantined in the manor until Yozora's return.

"Please stay safe," Innette beckoned to each one of them.

They had all descended the porch stairs with fresh clothes and a little sack of food and supplies that Innette had thrown together. And they couldn't thank her enough for her hospitality.

"We will be," Yozora assured. "Try not to worry too much."

Stardust had her nose buried in the back of her mom's leg, only barely peeking out to stare up at Yozora. There was a melancholy written on her otherwise childish face, and Yozora couldn't help but wonder sometimes if she wasn't just a little girl but an old soul reincarnated.

"I'll only be gone for as long as I have to be," Yozora leaned down and reached out his hand to the small girl. "And then I'll be back to protect you guys again."

If she didn't have so much faith in Yozora, Stardust might have been left feeling unsure. But she always found a way to believe him, no matter how difficult or scary the situation may have been.

She gave Yozora a quick goodbye hug and then retreated behind her mother again.

"Good luck," Luxord chose as his parting words, "To all of you. Use your heads, see what you can figure out about the wyverns, and we'll be patiently awaiting your return, sir," he addressed Yozora specifically.

And with a couple more thank you's and heartfelt exchanges, the group was off again.

There was a little bit of anxiety surrounding just how they were going to get back, especially since neither Sora or Yozora had on the proper armor. But neither did Ephemer or Skuld, and they were able to pass through the white doors just fine. And as it turned out, once they crossed back over the land of sky and sea, all it took to get back to the other world system was all four of them clinging onto Roxas and Riku while they punched in the emergency buttons on their armor (they'd already tried getting back in touch with Ienzo but to no avail).

They expected to pop back into the lab where they'd departed from initially. But for some reason they materialized somewhere outside the castle walls, around the same area where Demyx and Larxene first showed up to the world after being recompleted.

And as the orange light grazed over his eyes, snapping him out of his dizzy spell, Sora couldn't help but be brought to tears.

"I can't believe we made it," he stretched out his arms, soaking in every last scent and sound.

It had been so long since he'd laid eyes on the world's extravagant gardens and winding steps that it felt more like a dream than real life. But there was no mistaking it now-the purple glow, the sense of grandeur.

He really was back in his own world system.

"Sora? I-is it really you?"

Everyone was startled when a soft voice echoed down a nearby alley.

Eyes wide, Naminé stepped over to them with her hands cupped over her mouth in disbelief. She would have hurried faster had it not all been almost too much to process.

"Naminé," Sora ran to her and immediately took her hands in his own, "It is me. We made it back."

"I knew you would," was all she knew to say, "I could feel it."

"Naminé, there's something I have to do. I've been waiting all this time-until I was able to finally return. I need to"-

"Wait," Naminé grinned at him, shaking her head. "I know what you're doing. But you should really wait. I'm glad you want to thank me, but I know there are much more pressing matters on your heart right now."

She turned to face the castle, and Sora and everyone else there knew what she was referring to.

"She's inside. You should go to her."

"Naminé…"

"It's okay. We can find a better time. But right now she needs you, Sora."

He wanted to find some way to express how much it meant to him that she was selfless enough to postpone his long-awaited "thank you" to her. But it was a natural part of Naminé's personality.

To think of herself last.

"Okay," he beamed at her, "You're right. I don't think I can wait any longer. I need to see her."

Naminé placed a hand on his cheek almost as though she had to touch him for herself before she could fully believe he'd returned.

"And she needs to see you. Follow me-I'll take you to her."

And so they were headed back to the castle once again.

At every corner they rounded it seemed like merchants and shop goers froze in their tracks to study Sora like a textbook. he'd become something of a local myth himself: the boy who had vanished inexplicably only for his lover to yearn for his return day in and day out. Could it really be him? Or was it just a legend after all?

"Try to lay low," Naminé whispered when they started down an empty backroad, "These people get no excitement in their daily lives, so if they notice you, it'll be all anyone talks about for days. And I doubt you'd want to deal with that during your first week back."

"I'd really rather not," Sora laughed, "I'll try my best to blend in."

"Good."

Of course, both Riku and Roxas wanted to talk to Naminé now that they were back, but they knew it would have to wait. Naminé had a mystical, almost unexplainable connection to both Sora and Kairi, and all that mattered in the world to her right now was reuniting them.

Like it would make all things right again.

When they arrived at the castle, Sora found his stomach twisting and turning into knots. His fingers were stiffer than clay, and he felt as though all his breath had been knocked clean out of him.

"You okay?" asked Riku as Naminé pried open the colossal doors.

Sora's nerves were not lost on him.

"Yeah. I just… I'm really going to see her," his voice gave way, and he looked as though he might faint then and there. "I've spent so many years convincing myself that I'd never be able to see her again. Because I couldn't deal with the pain that hoping brought me. But now it's happening. What if it doesn't feel the same? Between us I mean? What if she's moved on or it just doesn't feel right anymore?"

Riku could've gone off and Sora for even suspecting that Kairi might have moved on-but then he remembered that Sora hadn't been there to see each and every stage of her grief. The excruciating meltdown she had when Sora first disappeared, the denial that he was really gone, the sleepless nights.

Even after waking from her coma, she was still writhing with pain in every last bone in her body.

"Don't worry about any of that right now," he said as they all stepped inside and began the ascent to Naminé's room. "Just know that you're about to make her the happiest she's ever been."

Sora was about to bombard Riku with more anxiety-ridden questions, but he was interrupted.

"Sora?!" came a familiar voice as they passed by the lab.

Naminé sighed as she'd been hoping to conceal Sora from the others until he had plenty of time to be with Kairi. But she knew she'd been foolish for even thinking that would be possible when all anyone had done for the past several years was eat sleep and wake nothing but finding Sora.

"Axel! Isa! it's so good to see you guys!" Sora grinned at them, straining to wave amid his anxiousness.

And of course Even, Ienzo, and the Hollow Bastion crew just had to follow closely behind.

"Hey! Sora, it's really you!" Yuffie sprinted in front of the others, grabbing Sora by the face and pinching his cheeks in. "And after all these years, you still don't look a day over sixteen."

"You absolute imbeciles," Even glared at Riku and Roxas, who could not be bothered with whatever baseless accusation he was about to hurl at them, "You were supposed to re-establish your connection with Ienzo and the others in the lab before you attempted a return home. Why didn't you? Do you know how much valuable research we lost in failing to track Sora's journey back to this world system?"

"We lost contact," Roxas snapped at him, "You know, for a world renowned genius, you did a pretty awful job with the technology on this armor. We lost signal almost as soon as we got to the other world system. It's not our fault-just be glad we got him back here at all."

"You got him back looking pretty beat up," Axel observed Sora's scrapes and bruises, which looked more like defects that had been with him since birth at this point. "What happened?"

"We'll explain it all later," Naminé could sense Sora's impatience and was growing rather impatient herself, "But right now he's gotta go see Kairi."

"Oh, you still haven't seen her yet?" Axel sucked in his gut, "Well why didn't you just say something? Go!" He gestured Sora towards the nearest staircase before signaling the others to wait back in the lab. "We'll still be here when you get back."

"But what about the data?" Even nearly threw his notes into the air in frustration, "We haven't even taken a blood sample or checked his pulse or"-

"Stop it. Just stop," Axel could've drowned out his yammering by punching him in the lips, "It wouldn't kill you to shut the hell up for once in your life. All that matters right now is that Sora and Kairi can finally be together."

He couldn't pinpoint when it happened, but at some point during their training Axel had stopped seeing Kairi as a combat partner and started seeing her more like a little sister, much in the same way he saw Xion. He knew her pain and her deepest needs and wants. And he knew that the love she had for Sora was a kind of love that rarely existed anywhere.

That's how powerful it was.

"Go," Axel said once more, "She's waiting on you. She's been waiting for almost three years, and she's still waiting."

And having no more time for small talk, Sora nodded at him before starting up the stairs like his life depended on it.

Riku and Roxas stayed behind with the others, but Naminé decided to follow Sora up.

It was a frantic jog up four more flights of stairs, and with every last step it's like the pictures and senses got more and more vivid. He blinked for just a moment and could see her eyes bluer and more vast than the sea batting at him, full of the same heartsick tears that he'd shed when he thought of her. He could feel her silky hair on his fingertips-was it really long enough to reach her lower back? He could breathe in her scent, he could feel her skin.

"That's the one," Naminé whispered, out of breath by the time they made it up to the right floor.

Sora's heart shut down.

The door was slightly ajar, just enough so that a thin beam of light was snaking its way through the crack and onto the carpet. And there, only a few feet away from him, Kairi was in that room. Was she asleep or awake? Sad because her mind had been plagued by negative thoughts or smiling because she was thinking about an idea for a new poem or late night walks on the beach or something else that lit up her face?

"I'm so scared," Sora admitted, his eyes never breaking from the thin space between the door handle and the adjacent wall.

"I know," Naminé squeezed his hand, which simultaneously comforted him and made him even more nervous. "But no matter what happens, trust yourself. Follow your instincts. You've got this."

And almost as though she'd never been there at all, she broke the clasp and scurried back down the stairs.

He wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but he mentally agreed with himself that he would try to take Naminé's advice.

Legs quivering so much they could've given out at any moment, Sora forced himself towards the door. His neck was wet with sweat by now, and he could feel his heart pounding in every part of his body.

"This is it," he thought as he reached his hand out towards the door.

And trying to stifle the chaotic thoughts and feelings that were buzzing around his mind like white noise, he pushed it open.

"Kairi…"

She had her back to the door, but then she turned around.

And it's like the whole universe and everything that had ever existed or was ever going to exist stopped moving and stopped working like an old watch whose rusted and worn out gears had finally come to a breaking point.

Her eyes were wider than the sky.

"Sora?" she covered her mouth with both hands almost as though she had to keep herself from hyperventilating.

"Hey," he whispered softly to her, sensing that she was on the brink of a panic attack, "It's okay. You're okay."

He extended his hand out to her very slowly, not wanting to overwhelm her as she was now shaking back and forth and clearly struggling to breathe normally.

Her whole body shivered when he touched her shoulder.

"I… I"-she wanted so badly to be able to speak, but she physically couldn't do it. Her lips trembled and her tongue was numb in her mouth. She would've been totally inaudible had she not been letting out little panicked gasps, only getting faster and louder with every passing second.

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything," Sora didn't touch her any further, as much as he wanted to. She was overstimulated and on the brink of a full blown anxiety attack, and touching her probably would've only made things worse.

He was going to let her come to him first.

She huffed and panted, holding her chest as though if she tried hard enough she might finally be able to stabilize her breathing. But nothing was working. She was only getting more out of breath, and now her irises were juddering back and forth, full of misty tears which began to torrent down her face.

She buried her head against Sora's chest and that's when he finally let himself wrap her arms around her, deciding he could no longer hold himself back from loving her.

Especially at a time like this.

"Shhh, it's okay. I've got you," his fingers just barely grazed the skin of her back, and he hoped that that would soothe her at least a little bit.

Between gasps, her chest was rising and falling so much that he feared she might lose consciousness if she didn't get her breathing under control.

And he could feel her tears dripping all over his neck. Whether they were from the overwhelming emotions she was feeling or sheer panic, he couldn't be sure.

Either way, it was the most painful thing he'd ever had to watch.

"Kairi," he tried to pull back far enough to be able to see her eyes, but she sobbed even louder when he said her name. "No, please don't," he shook his head regretfully, fearing he'd only made it worse. "You have to trust me, okay? We have to get your breathing under control. Please look at me."

And trusting him always, even in the most demanding of situations, Kairi was able to pry her head away from his chest long enough to look up at him. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked like she felt absolutely miserable. He placed a hand on her cheek to hold her head up.

"Now breathe," he whispered, offering a nice long breath for her to imitate, "Slowly. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Just like this."

It was impossible at first, as she was full on hyperventilating at this point. But she watched the way his chest rose and fell slowly and naturally, like the branches of a willow tree on a windy day. And she did her best to emulate it, allowing her gasps to gradually evolve into light sniffles.

"That's it," Sora smiled at her, so relieved to see her regaining some sense of control. "You're doing so good," his thumb swept lightly across her face, keeping another tear from trickling down.

She was calm enough now that she could better follow his cues. He offered out his hand for her to grab hold of, and she did. She interlaced her fingers with his and squeezed tight, using his hand as an anchor to ground herself with.

He squeezed back, wanting to remind her that he was there for her and that he always would be.

"Sora," she uttered when she was finally able to speak again.

"Hey," he grinned sweetly at her, feeling the need to greet her again now that she was in a better state of mind to properly accept it. "I'm here. We made it back."

She still wasn't quite ready to make real conversation, as she was still having to think long and hard about her breathing and how to keep it steady. But Sora was fine with using that time to take in everything he hadn't been able to before. Even having just cried, Kairi was absolutely more radiant than he could have ever imagined her to be. Her hair was so dark now that it looked more brown than red and, as she'd just taken down her ponytail, it was wavy and so long that it draped everywhere from her shoulders to her back.

"You've gotten so beautiful," he said without a second thought.

Kairi didn't know how to even begin to respond, but the upturn of her lips and the flush in her cheeks said it all.

He took hold of a bunch of her hair, looking it up and down and peeling the strands apart from each other. He couldn't believe how pretty and soft it was.

"I'm sorry," Kairi shook her head.

"Sorry for what?"

"That you had to deal with that. That seeing me again couldn't just be a nice experience for you."

"Kairi…" it broke Sora's heart that she would even think something like that, "I didn't have to 'deal' with anything. Being here to help calm you down and make you feel better is what I want to do. It's all I've wanted the whole time I've been gone," he let go of her hair to take both of her hands into his own, "Listen to me. When we were kids I used to spend all day wishing I could be somewhere else: off in other worlds, meeting all kinds of new people. Well I'm older now, and I've done all that. I've seen everything there is to see, more than I ever wanted to. I've seen terrible things-people dying and worlds getting destroyed."

Kairi felt like crying again. Not only had Sora been away from her for nearly three years, but he'd spent that time suffering and slowly but surely losing his signature childlike wonder.

He really had grown up.

"But I've had almost three years to myself. Three years to think about my life and what I want. I've realized a lot of things about myself. But more than anything else, I've realized that I never want to be apart from you again."

He watched as her breath caught up in her throat and she looked equally terrified and captivated by whatever he was about to say next.

"I know this is probably a lot for you to take in right now. I mean, five minutes ago you weren't even sure I was still alive. And now I'm standing here right in front of you. But please," he folded his hands up over her's, pleading with her, "Let's be together. For real. Sure, we could take it slow and see what happens. But things are so dangerous now, and I never know if something terrible is gonna happen to one of us," he thought back to his own disappearance and, even worse, to the hooded man's threats. "And I don't want to wait for that to happen."

For the first time all morning, Kairi genuinely smiled, her eyes lighting up in such a way that she was even more irresistible than before.

"I don't either," she shook her head, squeezing his hands tightly in her own.

He thought he might cry, as these were the sweetest words he'd ever heard and they filled him to the brim with joy.

And all at once it was like he could finally show her even a taste of the pent up love that had been building in his heart for years.

He placed his hands on either side of her neck and pressed their foreheads together. He felt so passionately for her that he could've let everything move very quickly, but this was a moment he'd dreamed of for so very long, and he wanted to savor every last sight and sound, locking it all in his mind like a time capsule.

He cocked his head to the side and leaned forwards until their lips only barely grazed over each other. Her's were soft and tasted like fruit, exactly as he'd imagined they would. He knew many more were to follow, but first he just wanted one pure sweet kiss.

And that's exactly what he got.

When he pulled away, he saw that her face was so conspicuously red that she had to cover it up with her hands.

She was so coy, so evasive and embarrassed even though it was clear to him that she was just as lovestruck as he was.

And he could no longer help himself.

He closed his eyes and went in for another kiss, this time with an open mouth and a lot more momentum. Over the years, he'd become pretty proficient in holding himself back. But he knew that now was the time to let himself go. This was the girl of his dreams, the love of his life. He'd yearned for her as far back into the past as he could remember.

He allowed his hands to slide from her neck down to her waist then to her hips. She welcomed it, moving her lips as passionately as he was and even slipping his hand up the little beige blouse she had on.

He pulled away for a moment, his face flushed and expressive.

Was she really letting him do this? Was this really happening?

Maybe things really were moving faster than he'd expected.

He wasn't sure he'd feel ready to go too terribly far just yet, and he doubted she'd want to either. But that didn't mean they couldn't test the waters. He ran his hands up and down her bare skin as he kissed her, cupping his hands around her hips when he reached them and barely skimming the underside of her bra when he went back up.

It was like rubbing his hands up and down the base of a guitar, the way they jutted outwards each time he slid back down to her hips. She was so petite-even more so than she'd been when he last left her.

"You've got such a nice body," he looked dead at her when he said it, not even trying to be sly. He was just genuinely dumbfounded that a person could look and feel so good.

"Thank you, Sora," she giggled, having to look away from him for a second because she was so flustered.

Good God how much he loved her.

Sure they could have some fun and explore each other a little. But the last thing Sora wanted was for her to think that some fleeting physical pleasure was the only thing he was after. No, he wanted to romance her, and shower her with adoration, and one day soon make love to her mind, soul, and body. They could dabble if they wanted to, but that didn't mean they couldn't be sweet and playful, as was so characteristic of their friendship up until this point.

"Jump," Sora tried to contain his laughter as he said it.

"What?" Kairi was amused by his rather strange request.

"You heard me," he motioned her, his eyes glinting as he couldn't wait for what was about to come next. "Jump."

"Um, okay?" she giggled and did as he asked, but she let out a playful squeal when he flung her up over his shoulder so that her face and hands were dangling down towards the floor.

He spun her around and around like a carousel, and she screamed and laughed the whole time, bracing herself for dear life.

And after he'd gotten her sufficiently dizzy, he held tightly onto her and started towards her bed.

"Where are you taking me?" she cackled and slapped him on the hand for spinning her without warning.

"Somewhere I'm sure we'll be spending lots of quality time together," he quipped as he dropped her down on the mattress hard enough for her to bounce back a little.

He meant it to be funny, but she found that statement to be incredibly intoxicating.

He was about to go in for yet another kiss, but he stopped to study her for a minute: her once porcelain skin that had gotten noticeably tanner, her collarbone, the birthmark on her shoulder.

His eyes searched her from head to toe, wild with adoration.

She could've asked him what he was doing, but she already knew. She just smiled up at him sweetly and opened her palm, inviting him to interlock his hand with her's.

And he did, tracing her wrist and the creases of her palm until his fingers swept up over her's. Her fingers stretched backwards and then curled upwards before surrendering to his clasp.

"I wanted to wait to tell you this, but I can't," he whispered as he caressed the side of her face. "I love you. Not just as a friend or even as a girlfriend. In a head-over-heels kind of way. In a soulmate kind of way. I'm in love with you."

He planted one light kiss on her lips before moving up to her forehead, where he closed his eyes and held his lips for a long time, taking in her scent and contemplating his love for her. With each kiss-from her forehead, to her cheek, to her other cheek, to her chin-he stroked her face and pulled back to see how she was reacting.

It melted his heart to see her smiling so much.

He pressed their foreheads together so that their noses were touching, and he couldn't help but give her little Eskimo kisses as he stared at her lovingly.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him right back, but a knock came at the door.

"Sora? Kairi? Are you guys still in there?"

It was Naminé.

Kairi cupped her hands up over her face in embarrassment, and Sora rolled his eyes in a good-natured kind of way, hating to stop but knowing it must have been something really important if she was willing to interrupt them.

"Yeah, we're in here," Sora called back.

"I hate to interrupt, but I think you guys should come downstairs. Terra, Aqua, and Ven just made it back from the Realm of Darkness."

Sora and Kairi gaped at each other in disbelief and immediately jumped to their feet.

"They're back?" Kairi whispered to him.

"I guess so," Sora shrugged, "Okay, Naminé! Thanks for letting us know! We'll be right there!"

"Okay, great!" she replied, and Sora listened closely to her footsteps as they got further and further away.

Kairi straightened up her hair and blouse as best she could and reached for the door handle.

"Whoa, what do you think you're doing?" Sora stopped her.

"What?" she laughed, "You said we'd be right there."

"And 'right there' is a relative term," he kissed her forehead and then sat back down on the bed.

She shook her head in disbelief at how cheeky and adventurous he'd gotten all of a sudden. Had he always been just like this and it was a side to him she'd never noticed before? Or was it a whole new side of him that had come out exclusively for her? It didn't matter to her either way. Because she couldn't remember a time in her entire life when she'd felt so happy and secure.


End file.
